..My fiancees ex(whom we are both still friends with) pretty much assumes she is in the wedding which,..the way i have it planned out..SHES NOT. I have 3 bridesmaids and they are my closest of friends. She just basically 'puts' herself in the wedding when we talk about it. Like...Oh, i dont care who im matched up with to walk with the groomsmen down the aisle...Well shes not and i have never really been one for letting people down and im not sure how to break it to her. or should i basically let her figure it out. (me and her have had about 3 arguements before,..about stupid shi.t and...i really dont find her as much of a friend as she thinks of me).,....i dont know what to do!!!
2007-02-13 19:45:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think she is being very fair on you presuming that she is to be involved, what does your partner think about her attitude have you spoken about this? in my opinon it should be your partner who should tell her you have to think of it this way, it is your day, the day the you will remember for the rest of your life and if you don't feel comfortable now, you will not feel comfortable on the day, you don't want to regret not telling her and always look back on your big day as a day where you had to please her, you should have the day you dreamed about and if that means not having her there so be it. I suggest you sit down and talk to your partner about the way you feel and come up with some solution of telling her she is still your friend but for your big day you do not want her to be present or, if you want her there but not in the bridal party tell her that, just explain it is close family only and if she gets upset just ask her to put herself in your position if she was getting married would she like her fiancees ex to be her bridesmaid? (maybe your fiancee tells her himslef or you both could sit her down and talk to her) An ex is an ex for a reason i get the impression that maybe she hasnt moved on and this is her way of still remaining close, at the end of the day you must do what is best for you other wise in years to come you will look back and regret it. I hope you resolve the situation and you get everything you want, good luck
2007-02-13 21:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by gmc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her as soon as possible that she is not in the bridal party. Let her know that you have already chosen your best friends and that u dont think it is appropriate for her to be included considering. Also make sure your Fi knows exctly how you feel before you appraoch her. It is just as unfair of him to let her do this and if he doesnt have the courage to say something then u must. Ask him how he would feel if your ex insisted on being his best man I have a similar problem with my Fi's ex expecting to be involved.
It is your day and you need to be happy with it, if she gets upset or cross with you becuase of your decision and cant understand where u are coming from then she isnt your friend. Dont let anyone spoil ur special day. Be strong. Good Luck
2007-02-14 06:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by Redhot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL. She'll find out she's not in the wedding when you girls go to pick out dresses and she wasn't invited.
Try not to talk about details around her. When she asks about a bridesmaids dress, go "oh the guests will find out when the bridesmaids (you could always say the bridesmaids and MOH's name) walk down the aisle", then if she comments on that, say "well you are not in the wedding party". Or, if she's invited, say "you and the rest of the guests will find out when we walk down the aisle".
If she doesn't get subtle hints you need to flat out tell her she isn't in the wedding party.
2007-02-14 08:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let her down gently, and explain that you have a very small bridal party. But seeing as how she's close to both you and your fiance, it makes sense that she assumes she's a bridesmaid.
But before you talk with her, talk to your fiance. Make sure he didn't accidently (or on purpose), ask her to be in the wedding party.
2007-02-14 15:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go ahead and tell her! but instead you could ask her to do something for you, like be a hostess or usher during the reception...but tell her she's not ont he wedding march.
2007-02-14 05:07:02 · answer #5 · answered by shekinahjireh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to remember.. this is YOUR day! just be strait with her and say... ya know... I have been friends with so and so for "X" amount of years and I have chosen to have just them stand up with me.
If she still doesnt get it... then shame on her for trying to make your day into something for her.
2007-02-14 12:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by howelady 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋