Do men really always think about sex?

Question

Or is it just a movie stereotype?I am a woman in my mid 20,s ,
is it wrong for me to always think about sex?I made a choice a long time ago to wait ,not necessarily until i am married,but until I finish getting my career together.

Answer 1

When I was first having sex, I did think about it alot. Newly engaged, married- had sex *a lot*. After kids and illness, not so much.
In your situation, you're not having sex. You know it's supposed to be good (not always) so it's something you're missing. Don't worry about it or be too hard on yourself! Here's an article I found....

Thinking about sex: Who does it more?

By Faye Flam , The Philadelphia Inquirer
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Who think about sex more, men or women?

Many men and many women will tell you the answer is obvious - they think about sex more. There's a certain amount of male and female posturing behind this. We tend to turn this into a contest.

One "study" quoted on various blogs and Web sites but impossible to track down in its original form allegedly found that men think about sex about 150 minutes a day, women 180. How do they get anything done?

Does this reflect sexuality, or is it more a measure of how bored you are at work? And what constitutes thinking about sex? Does it count if you think "he looks nice" when a well-muscled cyclist rides by? Or do you have to imagine the whole act with him?

Last month it seemed some relatively concrete science might reveal the answer. Neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine of the University of California San Francisco determined that men think about sex a lot more that we women do. This she lays out in her recently released book, The Female Brain.

Here's what she told the San Francisco Chronicle about male/female brain difference: "Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road. ... Men, however, have O'Hare Airport as a hub for processing thought about sex, where women have the airfield nearby that lands small and private planes."

When I called Brizendine, she admitted to a bit of poetic license here. While there have been a few studies on sexual thoughts, it's hard to make direct comparisons because men and women tend to think about sex differently. "The honest scientific thing to say is, on average, males have visual thoughts and fantasies more times a day," she says. And they're more likely to pursue a partner based on nothing but a sighting.

But scientists often focus on something more straightforward - sex drive. And that, she says, is controlled by the hormone testosterone. Men have between 10 and 50 times as much testosterone as women. But the relationship to sex drive isn't that linear, she says. It takes much less testosterone to trigger a woman's circuits.

Several studies, she says, show that on average men want sex more than women. A recent study out of Germany showed that both men and women desire sex at the start of a long-term relationship, but after 20 years, 60 percent to 80 percent of men still report wanting sex regularly, while only 20 percent of women still do.

Brizendine said a much more interesting male/female difference is in how we approach sex and love. Men, she says, feel secure in a relationship if they're having sex. As a very general rule, if they're getting sex, they assume they're wanted and loved. But women need verbal reassurance. We need pillow talk. "Women read emotion in words," Brizendine says.

If this difference indeed exists, it could have less to do with wiring than with rationality. For a woman, it's important for practical reasons to know whether a partner is committed.

Sex for men is often a penny ante game; for women the stakes get higher. A man who doesn't love a woman can get her pregnant and abandon her, he can boast to others and hurt her reputation, he can give her a disease (most sexually transmitted diseases are more harmful to women), or he can eat up her precious time as her biological clock ticks away.

Being careful to check a man's emotional commitment isn't mushy girly stuff - it's common sense.

Other studies show men are more likely to want to engage in casual sex. So the only way you can answer who thinks about sex more is to define the question more sharply. If "thinking" entails more than just idle fantasy, but instead implies an active, critical weighing of risks and benefits, then women, on average, probably do it more - though maybe not for 180 minutes a day.

Answer 2

Hi... The old saying that men think about sex something like once every 40 seconds is actually not all that acurate... it's more like once every 10 minutes. Still that's a lot, but a lot less than more than 10 times every 10 minutes. It's not wrong at all, people are animals, and we are programmed to think about reproduction - it's an evolutionary thing. As far as I can tell a lot of the girls I've been with think about sex just as often as I do - sometimes more often. You're not weird at all.

As for waiting for sex.... Good god, you're in your mid-20's! IT'S NOT WORTH WAITING FOR! Your first time is going to feel awkward and stupid - it's really best to get it out of the way when you're young. Sex is great - but it takes practice. Still, it's better when you're with somebody you care about - or somebody that's really flexable.

Answer 3

In my experience as a middle-aged male, I can say that most men do in fact think about sex a lot of the time. I believe that is normal. I also don't think it is wrong for you to think about sex. When dealing with any generalization or stereotype, there are always exceptions.

As for your decision, I agree with you that it is the right one. Wait until your life has a solid foundation (education, career, goals, maturity) before delving into sex. In today's world, taking a flippant attitude towards sex can cause a lot of heartache and needless complications. Better yet, wait until you can share it with someone who is mature enough and committed enough to marry you. Perhaps their life goals and maturity will be similar to yours?

Answer 4

Yup, I'd say more often than not.

No, it's not just in the movies.

No, it's not wrong. Like my wife says: "We're all going to the same place, just at different speeds."

As long as you've make your choice for the right reasons, and you stick by them, then good for you. My wife has a gal pal that waited until she was 29, and just slept with some guy just to do it. This just happened this past month. I don't understand it, but whatever.

You do your thing, and just be happy. You'll get there there when you're good and ready.

Answer 5

They do think about it alot, but for sure its not all the time. Some guys who've been thru a long period of celibacy guess would think about it all the time have useen the the "40 days & 40 nites"
:-)

Answer 6

i'm not sure about other men but as for me i am way different from them. i think about alot of things. i'd rather have a better relation ship with a female even without sex.i know what girls like in guys, i even grew up around girls. so i know how to talk to and treat them.

Answer 7

While it is a know fact that most men think about sex once every fifteen minutes, we think about money and food more often.

Answer 8

Not always. For your kind information the women are 5% more sex hungry but they are good in suppressing emotions.

Answer 9

not all the time, depends on how long its been. If its been over 2 days sense they had sex, I would say yes.

Answer 10

hey its true they do think but when they see a good looking (sexy) girl.ye its wrong 2 always think about sex... if i would instade of u i woul first give impotance 2 my career co if ur not married, never mind ur career is ther there u will find who likes u well its was just my sugession.any ways happy V.day