What a predicament I’m in. More or less three years ago, I invited a friend to come live with me as her flat mate left and she could no longer afford the place on her own. Initially the arrangement was for her to only pay the levy on my house and it would not be a permanent thing. One thing led to another, things got carnal, but the word love was never spoken. It was more of a convenience thing and she still is a good friend of mine. Over time she’s become more and more dependant on me and I doubt if she could survive on her own.
All this have become the components of the trap I’ve sprung for myself. See, I’ve searched my heart and I do not love her. I do not want to spend the rest of my life with her and time is against me. Today is Valentine’s Day and she probably expects me to do something special, but I do not want to. She’s acting as if she’s my common law wife or something (incidentally, law does not recognize this in my country)
2007-02-13 18:38:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and guilt prevents me from seeing other women or letting her go as I’m worried about what will become of her.
How do I get rid of her and still keep her friendship and make sure she doesn’t end up on street. I’m wasting both our time. Please help!
2007-02-13 18:39:52 · update #1
you could try telling her what you just told us. :]
2007-02-13 18:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are in a predicament but you are in no way responsible for her considering you are not married. I definitely suggest not breaking up with her on Valentine's day because that would be more than devastating so if you have waited this long what is a couple more days? You need to be honest with her. Sit her down and tell her that you no longer want to be in a relationship with her. If you can try not to put blame on her. Just let her know that you do not love her and she deserves to be loved and appreciated. Also if it is possible offer to let her stay for a month so she has time to look for a place to live. As for doing something for her for Valentine's day consider it a nicety and do something small but thoughtful. What ever happens just know that everyone has a choice in how they want to live their lives. She will learn how to deal with this and she eventually will move on with her life. Good luck and Happy Valentine's day (seriously).
2007-02-13 18:54:49 · answer #2 · answered by Nina C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After sex, have a serious talk with her. Let her know your feelings. Explain to her that you don't see a future together as soul mates but you would still like to be her friend.
There's no need to feel guilty. You guys had a good run now it's time to move on and find happiness for each other separately. Good luck.
2007-02-13 18:51:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you don't have romantic feelings towards her. if shes an adult she will be able to accept that and still be friends with you and still live with you. I wouldn't do it today though be you don't want to ruin Valentine's day for her. Wait a week. But don't lead her on by taking her out today or getting her anything. Instead go out with your single friends.
2007-02-13 18:42:57 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Valentines Days is also known as National Break Up Day...
...talk to her about getting her own place - it's not that difficult - you just want to be on your own again. Maybe offer to pay her first months rent and help her find one.
2007-02-13 18:47:26 · answer #5 · answered by Just Wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH! IF YOU SAY THAT SHE WAS JUST MOVING IN AS A ROOMMATE SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE A PROBLEM UNDERSTANDING YOU. EVEN THOUGH ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, JUST TELL HER THAT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER ARE JUST AS A FRIEND. BUT TALKING WITH THE TRUTH ALWAYS HELPS. JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU TWO CAN STILL BE FRIENDS, AND MAKE SURE SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT YOU COULD NOT SEE A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BOTH OF YOU.
2007-02-13 18:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by florecitarivera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there several times. Honesty is the best policy. Tell her precisely everything you are sharing now. I bet she will understand. It won't be easy or painless but she will respect you. Be fair when it comes to outlining a timeline for her departure. Best of luck.
2007-02-13 18:46:29 · answer #7 · answered by infinitenothing_com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit her down one night and tell her that you think its time she grows up and she needs to move out. Dont be mean about it but tell the truth.
good luck with that
2007-02-13 18:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Atllas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got to give it to you great quenstion to ask on valentines day
2007-02-13 19:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by SAgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you what to be jest friewnd girls do that all the time. or play the song called i can,t fight this feeling any more from r.e.o.or the song. call i don,t love you any more.it,s a cuntry song.
2007-02-13 18:44:10 · answer #10 · answered by i,m here if you need to talk. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away and never return.
2007-02-13 18:42:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋