and he acts like nothing happened,no stories,no sign of being glad to be back,no flinch from loud noises. do you think that is wierd? i am worried he is holding things in and may have a melt down some day!
2007-02-13 17:33:50 · 19 answers · asked by computerdummy 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
its not that i want him to tell me things,i have not asked,but i have lots of friends that have gone and they are excited to be back,kiss american soil type happy,he really acts like nothing happend and he was in a bad place....
2007-02-13 17:49:26 · update #1
Don't read too much into it. My brother in law was the same way when he came back. He was involved in serious combat and escaped without PTSD. My husband wasn't in the thick of it like some of the guys are, but he was on a base taking mortar rounds in Baghdad. Not everyone will melt down. I learned from listening to my BIL not to ask questions, but to let him volunteer what he wants to. It's been about 8 months since he came home, and he's just now starting to tell stories. But he's doing in on his own terms rather than being pushed. I think that might be a healthier approach. On the other hand, I know that quite a few guys have had to come home and go into therapy to deal with combat issues. Just let your brother lead, and support him in whatever indications he gives you.
2007-02-13 17:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a person suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), he sounds like he's got it.........bad. He needs to see a therapist. Maybe a psychiatrist. He's most likely got nightmares. He's holding it inside. That happened to me. He was in a enviroment were he had to worry about his life and the life of his "brothers" 24/7. Then all of a sudden he's put back into a safe enviroment. War effects people in different ways. He must of seen something terrible not to be kissing the ground. Or he could just be effected differently than your friends. I feel very bad for your brother. His process of healing will not be an easy one. War is painful. Nobody should have to see people being shot at or blown up. All the men that come back from war all have PTSD. It either shows up right away when they come home or it shows up later in life. Something could trigger it. Something as simple as a girl in a little red dress. I have seen this happen many times. Thats why I encourage anyone who comes back from the war or even if you've been through a traumatic experience to get some sort of help. No person should hold those kinds of memorys in. A helpful way to get rid of some of the pain is journaling. Sounds like psycho babble bs but it helps. I would start helping your brother right away. Sometimes if you hold such traumatic experiences in your head you can go alittle crazy or it can lead to suicide. I speak from experience. God bless your brother. I hope he gets better.
2007-02-13 21:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by Charlie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To some of them it just isn't a big deal. My husband is always glad to be home and see me, but he doesn't make a big deal of it. He talks about it sometimes, but mostly with his buddies. I don't hear the stories unless I happen to be around the guys he works with. You can hear the bombs and rifles from the military installation at our house, but my husband doesn't even notice them. He won't notice a storm coming in because he hears thunder and writes it off as distant mortars. He is so used to being around those sounds that he doesn't even know they are there.
I wouldn't worry about him. My mother-in-law thinks the same thing about my husband but the truth is, he just doesn't let it get to him. It doesn't bother him, so he feels no need to talk about it or get too excited about being home. After a while, his coming and going to Iraq just became part of life. Yes, it sucks when he is gone, but that's just the way our life goes. It's nice of you to worry about him, but I doubt your brother is going to have a melt-down one day. Just be there for him if he ever does want to talk about it, and let him know that you missed him while he was gone.
2007-02-14 03:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you analyze the situation, they really should not talk about their tour. They can probably talk only with each other. The reason for that is because the war is not over yet, there are a lot of the men still there, and it is not appropriate to yak about this and that.
Dont ask, dont tell.
Isnt there also a nondisclosure policy in place? I would think so.
2007-02-13 17:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No thats pretty normal, especially if he was in a actual firefight. But if sat in a base and never left then that is not normal. I came back twice and didnt have any real feelings about being back, He probably doesnt really want to talk about it because honestly it gets really tiring to repeat the same stories over, and over again. Also he just got back so he is just going to need some downtime to get back into the normal way of acting. Thank him for me for serving his country.
2007-02-13 17:39:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its weird. I think if I went to Iraq and just came back I would be in shock. I'm sure being over there is so over-whelming that when you get back here, the last thing you want to do is be reminded of that place where so many terrible actions took place. He probably will open up to you guys soon. Just give him time to settle in.
2007-02-13 17:43:47 · answer #6 · answered by Courtney B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, no, it isn't weird. My ex was in Nam in the heart of everything and he told me this: "I went to do a job, and I did it. It's over-with and done and I only want to get MY life on track and get started with the business of living."
So, his concern was with himself and what he needed to accomplish in life to be successful. My other family members who come home once and awhile say the same thing. "I went there, saw a lot, stuck to the business at hand...finished what I was supposed to to and that's it. What's to talk about. Sounds to me like everyone at home received enough information. Let's get life rolling."
Basically the guys who come back just want to get on with the business of living. They are not afraid...they are brave and bravery in the face of the enemy is always rewarded. Maybe he doesn't feel like he's been away that long. Don't worry, if he has something to say...he'll say it. Always remember, worry brings strife...okay?
2007-02-13 17:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by chole_24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That really depends...
What was his MOS?
Was he really in the sh*t, or was he behind the lines?
Does he normally express himself freely, or is this normal for him?
My husband was in for 13 yrs. saw alot of disturbing stuff, some things he wanted to talk about...other things, no so much.
I would just let your bro know that you're there for him if ever feels like talking. Often they really only feel like spilling it with their comrades, or people that would really truly understand war.
2007-02-13 17:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many military people choose not to talk about what they have been through. My dad was shot down in WWII and never talked about it for 50 years. Right before he died he was interviewed by a local paper, and that's how his whole family found out what had happened to him!
2007-02-13 17:38:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Thank God your brother is back, give him a hug and thank him for protecting us. He's a lot stronger than you give him credit for, you shouldn't worry about things that you can't control. Just be there for him if he needs you and leave the rest to God.
2007-02-13 17:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by blogbaba 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋