im dating a woman, i found out that shes having a baby but its not mine. my gf, was dating a guy and they made the choice to have a baby, but they broke up, i dated her for a few weeks, and now shes having a baby. we never had sex, but she did with her old bf.
my gf is having a baby thats not even mine. should i break up with her? remember they made the choice to have a baby, before i dated her. what should i do?
2007-02-13 17:03:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she is the one that told me, i was shocked. i didn't know, until she told me. i love her, and shes 23, and im 18. but i have a job, and i make good money. i just don't know what to do.
2007-02-13 17:11:55 · update #1
Well, alot of this is going to depend on how you feel about the girl, my friend.
Do you care for her? Are you just casually dating? Are you in love with her?
If you're just casually dating her, then you really do not have a huge personal interest in her right now. But if you're in love with her, then it gets more personal, don't you think?
Also, if she is pregnant, then that child is going to be a factor, now and in the future. When she has it, it is going to take alot of her time, are you prepared for that? Also, the former boyfriend is the father, so you will certainly be having him come around and being in the child's life, if he so chooses to do so. Is that acceptable to you?
Are you in love with her? If so, are you going to take responsibility in helping her raise this child? Is she in love with you? Or is she needing a surrogate father for this child? Think about that also.
Lots to think about. Weigh it out, and I think the answer to your question will come to you.
2007-02-13 17:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by C J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she plan on telling you to begin with, or did it only come up because she found out that she was pregnant? If it was a concious decision on her part, and she told you that it had happened, I see no reason to break up with her. If she was hiding it, however, maybe. As it probably wasn't an accident, I'd assume she was mature enough to handle herself, and I think that if you really care about her you should give her a chance.
: )
Good luck
edit.
If you love her and she loves you I'd say go for it. It'll be a huge responsibility once you have to help raise a child. (Trust me, I'm only a year older than you, and I know.) But it is a truly rewarding experience. If it works out for you in the long run, I'm sure you'll be able to have children of your own with her, and in the off chance that it doesn't, you will have a good knowledge of how mature you are and if you are ready for children of your own.
One answer suggests marriage, and I want to stress that it is probably not the best idea. Love is love is love, but marriage isn't necessarily the way to make it stick. Marriage can put extra stress on a relationship, and you shouldn't even consider it until you have been together and you really "know" it will last.
sorry for the long-windedness :P
: )
good luck
2007-02-14 01:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by shibbystar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're on a dating stage. Do you love her? Does she loves you? I sense that you like her very much and perhaps considering to accept her and her baby as part of your life (or you wouldn't have posted this question). However, is the baby's father really out of the picture? He might come back for her and the baby.
2007-02-14 01:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by Nia N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's it!!!Your girlfriend has met the father of her baby before you have dated her. So you don't have any reasons to be angry with her. If your feelings for her is enough to accept her baby then fine. But if you have any second thoughts then better to break up with her as soon as possible so as not to hurt the girl and your own feeling as well. Pray also for enlightenment!
2007-02-14 01:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, stick with her, support her, love her. It's all you can do man. Give that baby a good father. You can do it.
If you feel a lot less strongly about her, I dont know. I guess you have hard decision to make. Good luck man.
2007-02-14 01:11:04 · answer #5 · answered by ~jenn~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the time your GF needs you more than ever, if you really love her, you'll accept that child in hers and race it as your own but given the circumstances, you must also protect ur integrity and dignity by comfirming from your gf that your not her SCAPEGOAT. on short words, better break her if she only uses you to cover things up, but... if you really love her, accept all his past present and future. Grace to you
2007-02-14 01:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kyo_kusanagi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's struggling to maintain a relationship with someone she agreed to have a baby with, I would stay away and keep myself from becoming attached. Your best bet is to break it off and be a friend.
2007-02-14 01:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by D-Cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you love her? is the father going to be in the childs life? if not are you ready to be a father? is she going to keep the baby? consider those befor you make any decisions
good luck if i where her i would feel realy bad about bringing you into this situation
2007-02-14 01:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by frosty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are ready to be a daddy you have not choice but to break up with her. I get the impression you did not have much of a relationship to begin with. So you will not loose much.
2007-02-14 01:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by Looking Forward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept her as she is, with the baby, or forget it and find someone else. She has broken with her ex-bf. She is available, and wishes to be yours, if you choose. So, choose wisely, ask your heart, do u love her ? If u love, u must accept her as she is, with the baby.
2007-02-14 01:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋