does abstaining include anything besides intercourse?

Question

Im a Catholic - yes one of those people who are saving themselves until marriage. But with the whole abstaining idea... how far does it go? Are kissing and cuddling allowed? How about touching and feeling or even dry sex or oral sex? Obviously none of those are intercourse but how far does the abstinence rule go?

Answer 1

Abstinance- I prefer the term CHASTITY- is the foresaking of ALL sexual contact. Kissing and cuddling are allowed, but NO touching - as I taught my children when they were younger- 'anyplace your bathing suit would cover.'

That includes no dry sex, no oral sex- yes- those are SEX...and NO MASTURBATION.

The idea behind chastity is to preserve the gift of your sexuality for it's true purpose- a gift to your spouse and your spouse ONLY.

Answer 2

People have to decide for themselves. The religious rule probably intends to include anything that stimulates lust. I think there are Catholics who draw the line at many different places along the spectrum. However, if you plan on waiting only for intercourse, it's REALLY easy to let the lines blur and end up doing things you say you won't. Also, much of the sexual experience consists of activities other than intercourse, so it;s kind of like cheating to do everything except that.

I used to intend to save myself for marriage... I didn't know how far I would go before marriage, but once i was in a solid relationship I let things keep getting farther, until after 2 years, I decided I didn't want to wait anymore. So... if it's really important for you to wait, I think you should set very clear boundaries about what you will or will not do, and stick to them, unless you;d be fine with changing your mind. (I don't regret my decision, but it's not been very long yet)

Answer 3

Eatin' ain't cheatin'.