I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We always talked about getting married. I still love him with all my heart. But I don't think I'm happy anymore. I've met someone who I think would make me happy. (I've never cheated) I don't know what to do. Could things between my boyfriend and myself? Or should I just give up? If I break up with him, how should I do it? I don't know what to do.
2007-02-13 15:48:06 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If after 3 years things are getting stagnant with your boyfriend, and you aren't any closer to getting married, and you aren't happy, then you need to just talk to him about those things. While you are talking to him, ask him to tell you reasons why you should stay together. If he can't think of any, or doesn't come up with any that make you want to stay, then it's time to move on.
But be careful jumping into something new right away, after such a long time with one person.
2007-02-13 15:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet n Sour 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you not as happy with him BECAUSE of the other guy or were you not happy before you met him? It's important to think about the reason you're not happy anymore and then follow your heart. Is your bf someone who's worth trying to fix things with? Are you less interested because the other guy gives you something your bf doesn't, in which case you and your bf should talk about what you want in the relationship and what changes you want to see. Maybe your boyfriend would understand and try to change whatever's not making you happy. But, if you're just not happy at all, then you need to be honest with yourself and with him. I'd say give it a few days, see how you feel and then if you're still thinking breaking up is the best thing, sit down with him, explain that you're feelings have changed, and that you need some time to figure things out. Good luck!
2007-02-13 15:58:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has changed between the two of you lately, seen as your not happy? If you really still love him, take a breather, step back and try to work on things. If you are just bored with him, put some excitement back in the relationship. If your just insecure about breaking up with him so you can be with someone you think can make you happy take the leap and just go for it. If you break up with him, just be honest and say your just not happy anymore. Give it some great thought. Good Luck!
2007-02-13 15:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Suzie- Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think that ur happy getting married would be a bad idea. Have u told ur bf that u aren't happy or have u just complained about it to ur friends (and us). If u have and it's not going anywhere then u have to make a hard choice. U gotta remember though, it's easy as hell to be the girl/guy who is helping someone cheat on their mate. All u have to do is be fun for a couple hours a week. U shouldn't let the fact that the other guy is fun be the main thing that pushes u to end a relativly stable relationship.
2007-02-13 15:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know a thing about you and your current boyfriend and could not advise you just as easy as saying "Stay" or "Dump".
I will say - unless he beats your abuses you, could end up regretting leaving and once you leave if you see it was a mistake, it may not be so easy to get him back. he could just move on with his life and not wait around for you to "test the waters".
The grass always looks greener on the other side - but once you get there... if you know what I'm getting at. You said you love the man with all your heart. But you're not happy? Could it be you're doing like many girls do and think your life needs to be like a romance novel or a romantic movie? Neither are realistic and are pure fantasy.
Examine yourself - why you would even think about leaving a man you love. That makes as much sense as throwing down roses in hand for those prettier looking ones in the planter only to find out they were plastic.
2007-02-13 16:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by Victor ious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you actually losing interest in your bf, or are you just getting interested in this new guy?
A good way to tell, (in my opinion,) is just to treat each day separately. Sometimes, the pre-marriage jitters can scare people out of relationships when you start to get serious. When you hang out with him, do you have a great time? Do you go home smiling? Or does it seem like more of a chore?
Don't let this new guy be too much of a factor. If you haven't even dated him yet, then how could you know for sure that he would be an upgrade? Don't throw away three years of work and love on a whim.
2007-02-13 15:54:35 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u find your heart with someone alse then dont let the past keep u from being happy if your boyfreind really does love u then he will want u to be happy and if the other person makes u happy and he should understand it u just need to tell him how u feel and where ur heart belongs..dont be scared, u cant help who u love. i ve been in the same boat but being happy means more than living a life with someone that ur heart doesnt smile. give it a chance. tell him how u feel go with ur heart! really think about it. hope i helped
2007-02-13 15:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats at least you haven't cheated.
Could this new boy be an infatuation as opposed to love?
Are there any big issues with the existing b/f Things you really dislike?
After a while, priorities shift (less touchy feely) and more effort is placed on how are we going to get what we want out of life (education, family values, house work etc..)
Look at all his positive attributes (and negatives) and see if it's something you really agree with.
The grass is not always greener, it just appears that way.
It's important how he treats you and the common goals you have.
2007-02-13 15:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to listen to your heart....i know, easier said than done. but you have to think of everything before you do this....is this new guy just someone different, and you are letting your hormones get in the way.....or are you attracted to him because you aren't happy anymore with your current man? can you picture your life in 2-5 years without the guy you are with now, and still see yourself happy?? are you with him now just for comfert reasons? just dont do anything you will regret just because you are tired of the same old, same old....try to switch things up with the guy you are with now, and see if that helps....otherwise, i think you should go with your heart and just tell your b/f that you are not happy anymore, and you just want to end it now, while you can still be friends and not let it get so bad to where you cheat on him.............sorry been there and had to do it...it was hard, but i am soooo thankful i did it then , and got on with my life
2007-02-13 15:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by kristina43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi- personally id talk to him first, then consider you options. i was in a 4 1/2 year relationship- bought a house etc, she cheated on me early in the relationship- i thought i was dealing with it all etc. a few years down the track it all wore off and i was unhappy so i broke it off. it was the best thing that i have ever done. im now happy in myself. i am single atm, but i am happy again and ready to fall in love again. it is hard at first to do but the rewards are great. dont listen to your friends- listen to your heart
2007-02-13 15:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by tony c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋