My 3 year old went to pre school for the first time last week and he was TROUBLE?

Question

I know he started half way through so all the other kids were in a routine but he ran when they sat, he yelled when they talked, and he refused to raise his hand. He ran all over the place playing with toys and ignoring the teachers.
they have 1 teacher, 1teachers assist and 1 parent helper. I just felt like we were intruding and holding them back. I don't know.
I have been told that my son acts differently when im not there (more behaved) yet i was way in the distance and he still reacted the same. HE WAS THE ONLY LITTLE BOY TO HAVE A TIME OUT.
my question is. is it better for me to accompany him for the next couple weeks to help him get settled into the routine.(im scared of him disrupting the class and using all the teachers energy to disiplyne him.
Or should i just drop him off and let them attempt to settle him.
?????????
If there are any pre school teachers out there, id really like some advise.

Answer 1

I wouldn't go with him. He has to learn how to adapt and cope with new and maybe uncomfortable situations. They are trained professionals and will have to deal with it. I'm sure he's not the first "problem" child they've had, he's just going to need time to adjust.

Answer 2

I was a preschool teacher of a room of about 23 three year olds. I can say now that it was great, but at the time, it was stressful. But anyone that works with children of that age knows what to expect from a 3 year old. My daughter is now 3, and I am just waiting for everything! There were so many kids that were new to daycare that seemingly acted "bad" but they were only asserting thier own independence in thier own kind of atmosphere. They feel as if they finally have a place to kinda let loose, so that's what they do! I know that you may have felt like your son was just not fitting in and was doing what was wrong, but I assure you that after a while, after the schedule that daycare puts into place will iron everything out. It may take a while, let's say a month or so. It's not as long as it seems, and daycare workers are so understanding. We know what to expect from the little guys and what's normal. Rest assured that it will be okay. Boys will be boys and pretty soon he'll get the hang of everything and will settle down a bit. You can go ahead and accompany him for a few days but no more after that. He should learn to go on his own after you drop him off at the door. Just remember to give him a goodbye hug & kiss and let him know you love him and will be back VERY soon. Extending the process of introducing daycare to him by staying by his side will hurt in the long run - when you finally decide to pull back, usually children end up kicking and screaming, etc. You have to be firm but loving.

Answer 3

I am a Preschool teacher and I also have a 3 year old son..This is very normal behavior in fact if he came in the first day of ever being in in preschool and acted like a angel I would think he was ether very slow or something was wrong about 95% of preschoolers act like that there first day. They are trying to test there teachers to see what they can get away with. Also try to imagine if you won a million dollars...how would you act now think of a child in a new environment with tons of toys and kids. He is probably very excited and it is hard to pay attention to what the teachers want him to do. As for the Teachers don't worry about them they are trained and know what to do. That is why they call them "teachers" they will teach him the rules and the rottens. I would give him 2 weeks - 2 months and he will be acting just like the other kids. Oh and drop him off and go that is the best thing for him you and the teachers...when there are parents there it just adds extra stress to the environment. You also want consistency if he knows you are there he will expect you to be there all the time and that will cause another problem for you.

Answer 4

If it was just daycare, I'd say let him tough it out. He's just going to have a rough adjustment period, but most day cares have kids coming in and out all the time. The day care providers are usually experienced and integrating a new child into the program. Actually, getting one child into the routine will be a lot easier than those first two weeks when they had to get all of the kids "broken in".

But, if he's really in preschool, you might want to think about waiting til next year. Getting put in time out isn't really that big of a deal. However, if his classroom behavior is so different from all the other kids, it may actually discourage him and make it harder for him next year.

Talk with your son's teacher. She should be able to tell you if this is just a rough spell that the two of you can work to get him through or if it may be better for him to start with everyone else next year.

EDIT: I don't think you should try to accompany him. Even if you do get him settled in, he will still have to go through an adjustment period when you stop. Before he can benefit from preschool, he has to be able to respect the teacher's authority without you there.

Answer 5

You need to drop him off at the door, with a big hug and kiss and tell him to have a great day. Make sure the teacher sees him, and leave. Teachers see this all the time, and if you are in a quality school, then they know that this is temporary and will go away as soon as the child feels more comfortable and starts to learn routine. The absolute worst thing you can do is hang out. I know it is hard, but I see it all the time. it is not unusual. Remember that the other kids know the routine, what do do, when to do it, etc... He will learn, and learn faster if he doesn't have you there. Good luck, and let the teachers do their job!!

Answer 6

You know what, your son is only three, and that might seem 'big' to you if he is your first one, but my kids are much older and that is still 'little.' He does not yet have the life experience to know how to behave in a classroom, and I'm sure at the beginning of the year the other little boys were just like him. I would say that 'probably' you should not accompany him to class - the teacher seems to have plenty of help and 'should' be able to deal with him - but you could always ask the teacher about it. Maybe you could also work with your son following directions at home, and make it a FUN GAME: in an excited voice: "We're going to play a new game. When I make a squeaky sound, I want you to run over and sit on the couch and BE VERY QUIET!" Let him sit quietly for just a few seconds, then clap and cheer for him like crazy for 'winning the game.' Play this at various time and he'll see how FUN it is to follow directions, and how much PRAISE he gets for doing so. Young children are easily molded and maybe something like this would help. At least...it won't hurt! Just make sure you are really positive and fun and he will WANT to play this game with mommy!

Answer 7

This is not uncommon. He is in a new place testing the waters. He is thinking "what can I do here before I get in trouble? Do they have the same rules that mom has?" He is probably also really excited. He wants to see everything in this new place. You should talk to his teachers. Ask them if they want you to stay. My guess is they will tell you to leave. Your son might also be testing you. Kids aren't dumb if you were in the room he knows you are there. He might just be checking to see if you will punish him in this new place. I wouldn't pull him out. He is doing what toddlers do. Drop him off and he may really surprise you. When he does reward him for being such a "big boy"

You can also try playing games with him to test the skills he needs for school like sitting still, going where he is told and raising his hand when he wants to speak. Play a game where for dinner time or whenever who ever wants to talk has to raise their hand and wait their turn. Your son has more knowledge than you think try giving him the chance to show you :) Good luck!

Answer 8

kids really do act differently when there parent is not there. I think its best to leave him and let he teachers do the disciplining. While you are there..even if you are at a distance..in his eyes you are still the boss and these other ppl telling him what to do are not. If the teachers feel that they need your help with him after leaving him for a week or so im sure they will let you know. This is all new for him he probably just isn't sure what is expected yet..give him somet ime and try and use the same disciplining strategies at home that they use at school...talk about sharing and listening etc...

Answer 9

No. This is actually quite normal, especially with only children because they tend to not have as strict a routine. Having you around does not reinforce the authority of the teacher and her assistants; instead, he'll act out even more because he thinks it's a 'public setting'. I would stay out of the classroom and let the teachers do their jobs--they are trained to handle all sorts of situations, and he probably is better behaved when you're not there.

When my son first entered preschool, he would ignore the teachers and do whatever he wanted. It took a couple of weeks for the teachers to get him used to the routine of the class but once he did he loved it. He was also better behaved for me after his classes.

Answer 10

I'm not a pre-school teacher, but our oldest boy had similar problems when he started pre-school.
We kept him in there, and dropped him off, then talked to the teachers to see how he did each day. Then we would talk to him at home about any problems, and tell him to mind the teachers or sit down during circle time, etc.
Eventually he got the hang of it, and did ok, participated with the class.
He would have been a mess if we pulled him out and let him go into kindergarten like that.

Answer 11

I don't have any kids but I would say that is normal. Especially if he is used to being around you all the time, it is probably a change for him and he's just acting out. If you want, go with him sometime and see what the problem is and see if he is any better with you around. If not, I would leave him in there because he has to get used to it at some point. He is just going to have to learn some kind of discipline.