How do you handle talking to ppl? plz help tips?

Question

okay im in college..and I have a bad habit of annoying ppl..cause im nervous i try too hard or im just too shy....soo when im nervous i sound like im mumbling and ppl r like what?...so i get embarassed...and i dont say things with conffidence i say it like im wierd or something...I wrote some bad habits i have...1)...repeating words like yeah...uh...u know what I mean..2.) when the other person starts talking alot i tend to interrupt cause i just get so excited...not to be rude though 3.) when i try too hard to be funny..i say wierd things..i cant chill but when i dont try hard...I am a funny person ppl think usually attractive girls I come off wierd when i say things ..I tend to just be like a survey...

Answer 1

RELAX!! and be yourself. I used to have this problem too. I would actually start acting like how I thought they wanted me to act. Finally one day I said screw it!!!! I'm gonna start being ME, and I did and I made a lot of friends. So just relax and be yourself, if someone doesn't like you for the true you then they weren't meant to be your friends. Hope this advice helps:)

Answer 2

I do the same thing. I've come to terms with my social inadequacy (which is kind of ironic because I'm planning to go into a field that requires tons of networking and group work and interaction with people and blech, but I digress...) However, seeing how you might want to overcome it rather than come to terms with it, I suggest you just come up with a few preset answers that you can use in general situations... kind of rehearse common conversations in your head so that you have things ready to say. This can backfire: I am easily stumped by the question "How are you?" so I developed the formulaic and true answer of "tired" and then responded to every single person who asked me how I was with 'tired' ... you can see why that wasn't such a great idea, so I tried to go for a week without using cold, tired, or bored as a reply to how are you.
That led to awkward silences after a question that doesn't really mean anything anymore.
My advice: just tell people you get really excited, and that's why you're interrupting.... people like to talk about themselves, if all else fails, just prepare an arsenal of questions to ask them about themselves.

Answer 3

Do you by chance have a very slight hearing loss?

I talk very low and have trouble with voice modulation. People have difficulty hearing me and often ask me to speak up.

I developed a slight nerve deafness as a result of ear infections when I was little. I used to get terrible infections.

I am -not- completely deaf though. It is a weird thing to have. In fact many people doubt my hearing loss, because with my particular nerve deafness you can't wear a hearing aid.

It can make you feel kind of disoriented esp in large groups where you miss bits of conversation. It can make you feel out of sync with the conversation.

I also interrupt, because of the disorientation. I also don't mean to be rude.

It's very slight and hardly discernable type of hearing loss. Yes, I can hear music. I can hear the TV. It is a very odd type of hearing loss where some tones are not available to me. It is not a general type of hearing loss. It is different. It's nerve deafness.

In fact, since I am older now about 30, I have an easier time hiding it, so most people don't even realize I am really struggling at parties and stuff. However, it's frustrating cause it can ruin your smooth factor and make you depressed.

Anyway, thats what it sounds like to me.

You might want to get it checked out. Theres nothing they can do medically, but it might make you feel better to know you have it if you do.

It's nerve deafness. I got it from chronic ear infections as a child. It wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor about it or get a referral to an ear specialist.

Hope this maybe helps you get to the bottom of your problem. Good luck.

**add-on: You might not think you have it. But you could. I might not know i have it if it weren't for my chronic infections and the doctors who used to monitor my ears.

I wouldn't know I had it, because how could I tell you which tones are not available to me when I can not hear them?? They can tell you at the doctors office. You take the test. And they make you hear noise. And they tell you if you have a loss. They know exactly which ones you can't hear, because they hear them when you do not. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Smile a lot, but not sycophantically. Smiling puts others at ease, giving them a more casual attitude to you which makes you less nervous.

Answer 5

I agree with answer #1 completely

Answer 6

Ask them questions about themselves (not too personal) or talk about current affairs.