a few weeks ago my boyfriend said he needed space (it was long distance so I dont get that...) I guess since he just started college and has to focus. Anyways, I stopped getting online all together and he said he missed me when I did that, but when we talk if I say even one thing about 'us' or about him calling girls but never calling me even though we're friends he just says ok or says he has to go. He also told me he was coming to visit this weekend for V-Day (7 hour drive) "as friends".....I'm really confused because he hates driving and has no money but he's gonna visit me? Why would he do all that stuff if he just ignores my comments about us...it's so many mixed signals
2007-02-13 15:19:37 · 18 answers · asked by Sarah 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is confused. He might think that being in a commited relationship will distract him. That doesn't mean he doesn't care for you he probably just sees the two as two different things, Him not wanting to be in a relationship with you doesn't change that he still misses you and that he cares for you. He's just going through things and needs to clear his head. Just play along but lay down some rules. And if you guys are just friends then try not to get jealous when he doesnt call you (its hard i know) but just treat him as a friend in that aspect but still be there for him so he doesnt forget you care.
2007-02-13 15:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still has feelings for you, and maybe this long drive he is going to take is to prove something to him? Starting college is a hard a stressful task (I'm a freshman myself, with a long distance relationship) different states) Valentines day is a big day for those who are in love, or just love in general. This might just be his way of figuring everything out. Don't push the subject it could only push him away. Find other things to talk about, that don't involve you guys as being an us or a couple. Like music or books, or simply how your day was. And being friends isn't that bad of a thing, after college you two could fall desperately in love. Calling other girls is also a sign of insecurity. He is also trying to build other friendships. Just hang in there, and if you can't be his girlfriend at this time, be his best friend. It always works out better that way.
2007-02-13 23:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by jenimiper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not the only one who has a say in where this "relationship" is headed. You do too. He is definitely giving you mixed signals and you have to decide whether or not you want to play those games with him. I personally never liked playing games -- never had the time or patience. If you enjoy the drama of being kept on the edge and laying awake nights trying to analyze everything he says and does, go for it. Otherwise, tell him to give you a call when he grows up and move on to a more mature relationship.
2007-02-13 23:26:15 · answer #3 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you are younger. Here are a few things that come to my mind. First, don't doubt yourself. You ar OK. I have known folks that got married after years apart and they realized that they were the ones for them. If it is real and true love then it will come back to you. If it is not true love, then why fight it and what exactly are you holding onto? This happened to me in reverse. I was much younger back then in my twenties and I fell for this beautiful woman. She kept me also at a distance and the relationship drained me untill I realized I had to move on. Eventually she faded away and life went on and I met someone else. It hurts but thats just how life is, But, if this goes bad for you please do not do what I did. I hid from love for a really long time. I was known as the guy who hated woman for YEARS! It took me sooo long to heal up and yet, I could have been enjoying something wonderful much earlier on. If this works out, GREAT! If not, don't allow this to destroy you or allow you to be secluded off from real blessings.
2007-02-13 23:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by John S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A long distance relationship and he's away in college. He just beginning to realize the potential there for more fun and more girls. Sure he wants a you as his "sure thang" back home when he wants to get away, come home or things just don't work out w/his latest hottie. I'd confront him and at least give hime one more try;;either me or else. and no other dating. He shoud be spending his time studying anyway. If he doesn't come around soon, I would dis him to the curb and QUICK. Don't waste your life while he wastes his.
Good Luck. (I've been there and done that ,Im 41)
2007-02-13 23:30:24 · answer #5 · answered by carolinagirl965 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you probably don't want to hear this-but if he is avoiding you when he is at college then he probably has someone there on the side and really can't talk with you then. I would tell him to quit playin games-either you are together or your not. Guys are mean,and since its a long distance thing, I wouldnt put anything past him-Sorry!
2007-02-13 23:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His signals are not mixed. He wants everything his own way, and he wants to keep you available for his own convenience. Believe me, there's no future in this relationship. If I were you, I would be completely unavailable when he visits. Go out. Have fun. You don't owe him apologies, explanations, or time. As far as the emails go, you should not feel obligated to answer his if you don't want to. If you do answer, keep them short, chatty, and polite. Everyone deserves friends who respect them. This young man is not showing respect for you. Kick him to the curb.
2007-02-13 23:42:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right that is alot of mixed signals, and who wants to put up with that? the dudes just pushing you around, put your foot down, stand up for yourself you dont need that shlt no one does. if i were you id tell him to stop giving you the runaround , and if hes at college and your 7 hours away, the truth is he will probably end up cheating on you anyways, and i wouldnt be surprised if he already has a girl based on his strange behavior. you can do better.
2007-02-13 23:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like when he's in your area, he wants you, but while you two are apart he wants somebody else..that does seem weird he would be driving so long to see you.. are you sure he's there to see you? or is he there to see someone else and your just one of his pit stops on the way there?i would just move on, usually when a guy says he needs a break, it turns into a break up.. and you dont want to hold onto something that your gonna lose anyways.. sorry
2007-02-13 23:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by mrs.contreras 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say he sounds confused because he is confused. Having gone to college, and having a gf in h.s. usually doesn't work out in the long run though. Sorry.
2007-02-13 23:27:56 · answer #10 · answered by grouch2111 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋