My relationships never work out...?

Question

Every guy I get with hurts me, does this mean I should give up on having a man and just be a lesbian?

I have lesbian tendencies but perfer men but I can't do it again, I get crazy jealous when I know my man has slept with someone else, with a girl I don't think I would mind as much. I honestly don't feel after what happened I can ever have a normal relationship again.

To Spudn:

Thank you for that egotistical dipped advice. First of all, this is what I hate about men, I have actually slept with 2 guys in the last couple of years, so when I sleep with a guy I really like him, why do men have to all of a sudden lose respect? And the guy that broke my heart claims it's because of my family not wanting us to be together, I know this is a lame excuse and I officially hate his guts but when men sleep together they don't loose respect for eachother, why do you do this with women, oh and another thing there are people in great relationships, no matter how they started, they know where they both want to go and they know they want to go there together so I don't believe that is the case in every relationship. Thanks.

Answer 1

You can't just decide to be a lesbian. Either you're born a lesbian or you're not a lesbian. You can, however, choose to pursue a same sex relationship if you're bisexual.

Answer 2

I think you shouldn't give up yet.

Here are some suggestions:
Sometimes, it helps to slow things down in a relationship. Do not rush head over heals into a relationship and sleep with a guy within a month or two. If you do, you don't leave him wanting more; he'll just end up dissapointing you because he does not respect you. Instead, take your time. Get to know the person. Build that infrastructure. Leave him wanting you more. I bet, if you wait it out for at least 3 months, he will respect you a lot more.
Above all, relax about being with someone. Don't be obssessive, or whatever. Just let things flow. Take your time to get to know him one day at a time. Give him the chance to know you better. When you get angry, do not BLAST him with words. You might say something you will regret; you can't take it back once it is said. Be patient, take a breather, and get back to it when you are a lot calmer...

Best wishes.

Answer 3

usually there is a little pain in all relationships and every now and then we all get hurt by our partners whether they mean to do it or not, you might should ask yourself if you are settling for someone just cause you can get them or if you keep making the same mistake with different people when those different people are really not different just look that way you know they look different but underneath they are the same perhaps that would be the best help, going lesbian is not the answer unless you are more drawn to women than to men

Answer 4

No Honey that won't help you, because you will probably seek out a woman who will hurt you this time unless you take the time to discover why you seek out partners who hurt you, & effect a change within yourself.

We learn from our parents how to have a relationship, & then we combine that with our own experiences while growing up to make our own decisions about who is good to partner up with.

If our parents had an unhealthy relationship OR if we picked up some unhealthy traits while growing up then we may have a PROBLEM.
But if our parents had an unhealthy relationship AND we picked up some unhealthy traits while growing up then we have the makings of a DISASTER.

Before you go getting yourself into a new relationship I suggest that you try the single life for awhile, & then go on a mission of self-discovery.
With inner strength, & self-determination you can set yourself up in a stronger position where you aren't so dependant on the actions of another person.
Ask yourself, "Why do I settle for the kind of man that I tend to end up with?"
"Why do I allow someone else to have the power to hurt me so much?"

and finally:

"When I meet the next person that I am willing to invite into my life, will I be ready to have a loving relationship with him/her, or will I be in a position where I NEED that person in my life?"

Don't expect to be able to answer these questions overnight.
It may take a considerable period of time before you are ready to answer them. I am only suggesting that they are a foundation on which you can build your journey of self-discovery.
Once begun, there will be newer, & more important questions for you to pose for yourself. You will know you have begun the journey when you ask yourself the 1st new question.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

It means you need too look the choices you make; the common demoninator is you. Are you chosing a certain type of guy who's bound to hurt you - you know, a bad boy? Sit down and think of all the things these men have in common and then avoid those traits in men.

And if it's not the type of guy, then maybe you need to look at your behavior in relationships - have you been told the same things by multiple guys (i.e. you're clingy, naggy, etc)? Because maybe there's some things you need to work on while you're single to make you a better partner in the future.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Try dating a guy different from the types of guys you've dated before. Or just take a break from dating for a while and explore who you as a person. Good luck!

Answer 7

Of course not but be more cautious. Analyze why they don't work out. For me it was not being picky and lowering my standards because I just wanted someone to love me- never worked out. I allowed them to treat me in a way that didn't make me very happy and hung on.

Answer 8

Maybe you should because every other relationship fails. Or haven't you noticed? Guys just want nookie. We don't care about "relationships". So maybe another girl will be more appealing for you.

Answer 9

Become a lesbian!