Mother and Wife Put My Dog To Sleep When I Was away.?

Question

Its been 2 weeks and i am still trying to get over this, ANGRY is not even the word. My wife just gave birth 6 weeks ago to my daughter. I was away for a business trip to Japan for a week, so my mother came to the house to help my wife for the week,I've had my dog Benji since I was in graduated college, He was the sweetest dog, and was recently sick, but not terminally ill at all. During the week I was gone my mother had her friends over to see the baby.According to my mother Benji snapped at one of the women and bit her arm which required stitches. Now this part makes me want to cry, My mother and wife took it upon themselves to have Benji put to sleep. I am so heartbroken over this, I don't even know where to begin. I haven't talked to my wife or mother in 2 days. How do I handle this??/

Answer 1

good fot yhrm. dogd are a wast of money

Answer 2

I agree with you, they had no right to do that until you came home and were told the story of what happened and you make that decision, with your wife not your mother. Now saying that I also must say, you cannot go on not speaking to them forever, It will take a long time for you to get over this, but you must try and see it from there perspective, maybe they were afraid the dog would go after the baby, and I know that would have ripped your heart out. So sit down, when you calm down and let them know how you feel. Listen to there side, and try to understand, why they made that decision. I am sorry for your loss, I do know how that feels,I had my dog for 14 years, and yes they do become a part of you. You have a new baby now don't let this come between you your wife and child. Enjoy them and remember Benji in your heart.

Answer 3

I would be incredibly, incredibly angry and sad if my partner/parents did this to any of my pets for such a stupid reason and not consult you. Benji may have just snapped (if that is indeed what he did) because he was just scared or sick. Seriously, I would ask to see this woman's supposed stitched up arm. For a bite to require stitches it would require a lot of force from the dog's jaw - a dog just snapping at someone rarely causes this.

Using the excuse that they were afraid that he would hurt the baby is stupid. You don't leave a newborn/toddler/small child alone with a dog, ever, and it's not like dogs actively seek out babies in their cots to attack and kill or anything. I am a bit suspicious of your wife and mother's motives, did they like Benji? Did they ever express thoughts/suggestions before this happened on getting rid of him?

Your wife and mother putting Benji down without consulting you is not on. Not on at all. I have no idea how you should handle this, but I would be angry, very angry, and would have every right to be.

I'm sorry about Benji. I guess all I can say is teach your daughter to love animals and not treat them like something to be disposed of at a whim. Poor pup.

Answer 4

Your mother and wife must have thought if the dog bit this lady, it might bite the baby. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you? But on the other hand, the dog may have been trying to protect your baby, who knows for sure? I feel for you. I wouldn't want to part with my dog either, but look at this as your mother and wife did. It's too late to bring Benji back but you have a wife and new baby that need your love. And your wife can use your help with a new baby to take care of. Let yourself grieve for Benji but focus on your family now. I'm so sorry for your loss, but Benji is now at Rainbow Bridge and he will be there waiting for you when it's your turn.

Answer 5

Short answer - no, not because of itchy skin alone. My yardstick for any 'right time' is when it's obvious the burden of life has become too much for the individual dog. And with mine, it's been there in their eyes. And I'm not sure how old he is now? However - have you ever considered looking at the food you are feeding Otis? Good coat and skin comes from within, and any amount of tablets, shampooing will only be a 'band-aid' solution. Look at the food he's having - no wheat (cereals) for starters. Try an elimination diet - put him onto something he's never had before - eg. fish and potato. It's going to take weeks before what's been irritating his system is eliminated so you'll not see a difference immediately, but if you keep at it, my bet is you should see an improvement.

Answer 6

You have every right to be ANGRY. They had no right to take such drastic action without consulting you. Your Benji could have been boarded or kept separate till your return. It takes time for people to adjust to others & it also takes time for animals. As you say - he was the sweetest dog - most likely he would have adjusted to the newness. You don't mention if he was used to others being around but if you had been there I doubt this would have happened. Your wife & mother obviously haven't a clue as to the emotional attachment you had to Benji - their actions speak this. You will have be open and honest with them both about your feelings in order for everyone to heal. You all are going to have to talk - talk not yell. They disregarded your feelings and acted upon their own - they will defend their decision if attacked. Try being calm - open - honest. You do have a new little one to love. Take care & I am sorry for your loss & happy for your new daughter:-)

Answer 7

I can understand your being upset my dog is my baby. I think they should have talked to you about this before they did it. Thing is you have to understand with a new baby in the house they probably where thinking about the baby. Worried that maybe Benji would bite the baby, even if he has always been a sweet natured dog. I think you should talk to your wife and mother find out exactly what they were thinking when they did it and try to be understanding and tell them how you feel about it. There is really nothing else you can do except resolve your feelings about this. I'm sorry about Benji and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 8

Recently I was attacked by a pitbull who has bit 7 other people. If the owner would've put the dog to sleep after the first incident, myself and those 7 others would not have been bit. Once a dog starts that type of behavior, it only gets worse. However, I do think your Mom and your wife should've discussed the matter with you, rather than taking it into their own hands. Consider this: Would you have put the dog down yourself? Maybe they thought you would fight to keep the dog alive, thus submitting your newborn and others to potential danger. What is more important, a dog or the safety of those you love?

Answer 9

To anyone who has lost someone special it takes a while to get over the grief . It takes a lot of support to move forward and accept the loss. Someday you will get over this. You need family support at this point in your life. Yet the ironic part is it was your family that made the decision to put the dog away. It is sad to feel alone and feel that your family betrayed you. It makes the grief worse. Learn to find another support or the best thing you can do is to talk about how you feel with your mother and wife. It is best to release the feeling rather than let it bottled up inside.Learn to forgive and find ways to get over the grief.

Answer 10

I am so sorry. What you need to do is sit both of them down and tell them how deeply hurt you are that they did this. The reason doesn't matter. They should have waited until you returned from your business trip to explain to you what happened and allow you to make the decision and at least say goodbye to your dear friend. It's very possible the dog was being over protective of the baby. Dogs can sense more than we think. They can't undo what they did, and eventually you need to start talking to them again. But you deserve a heart felt apology from both of them and it shouldn't be one of those apologies that start with "I'm sorry but . . ." because then they are justifying what they did and there is no justification for not taking your feelings into consideration on this.

Answer 11

Wow ... that's a hard call. One has to take into account the circumstances surrounding the bite. If Benji bit without provocation ... it's a touch and go situation. Even so ... if they were concerned for the baby's safety, they should have kept Benji somewhere else, until you came home ... THEN discuss as what to do about it. I feel bad for you ... I know how bad the loss of a beloved doggy friend can be. :(

Please, GM ... view this video, it helped my over-come my grief ... when I had to put my Minny to sleep.

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html