He left me when I was very ill. He had a drinking problem. We were married 2 years.
2007-02-13 14:37:17 · 21 answers · asked by WOLFIE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well I think he probably does feel bad, I mean it has been 32 years and he's had plenty of time to think about it and maybe he feels like a different person and really would love your forgiveness. I think if you can, offer it. :)
2007-02-13 14:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Jade D. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sooo hard - if that happened to me here are my 'head' and 'heart' answers as well as I can write them down:
Head - say thank you for getting in touch to apologise - although it doesn't change what happened I do appreciate that it has been on your mind and wanted to say sorry.
Heart - I'm pretty sure I would still feel extremely let down and probably very angry with him.
I do know that sounding off at him wouldn't help him, but if I had something (literally one thing) that I *really* wanted to take the chance to say, then I really feel for my own closure that it would help to say it while I could... it doesn't have to be a shouting match, just a 'thank you for getting in touch - while I appreciate your apology I need you to know that you hurt me more than you could ever know. I sincerely hope that your apology is real and that you regret what happened - if you do mean this then I am glad you had the chance to apologise.
But that's just my (long) two cents worth! Sorry for the short essay...!
2007-02-14 00:13:38 · answer #2 · answered by jj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left you when you were very sick and needed him most, and he is an Alcoholic. It is good that he finally apologized to you but whatever you do, do not set sail in that sinken ship again. Its been 32 years, I am sure you are alot wiser now and smarter or at least i hope you are..Email him back and say Thank you for the apology, and I wish you a happy Life. Do NOT let it go any farther than that...
2007-02-13 22:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think I would tell him that his apology is accepted, and that I had forgiven him because I didn't want him to be the reason I ended up in eternal hell. Let him know it's nice to FINALLY know that he's figured out he made a mistake. I'd tell him that I got over him a long time ago and have moved on to better things. Don't brag about your life or a new marriage, but just let him know that you didn't need him, or his apology to succeed.
2007-02-13 22:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by krystiinkay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be trying to fix his drinking problem. He may have finally realized how much he hurt you, it's bothering him, and now wants you to forgive him. After 32 yrs., I don't think he wants to start up a relationship, but he may feel that your forgiveness is very important to him. If I were you, I would accept his apology..... (which would help him), but make it perfectly clear that you don't want to have contact with him, and that you have moved on from that painful time in your life. Unless, of course, you want to start up with him again.......but that sounds sooooooo wrong for so many obvious reasons.
2007-02-13 22:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't realize the dumb things they do until it's to late. The fact that he said he was sorry,shows he got his self together and realizes how much he must of hurt you when he was drinking. Except the apology and move on. The fact that he did it means something, most people just move on with their life, without any guilt of what they done.
2007-02-13 22:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by glorene b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that emailing you is impersonal, you're not allowed to hear the inflections of his voice. If he's really penitent, he would agree to meet you and apologize simply and earnestly.
If he is sincere, you should forgive him and move on, knowing that you were the better person.
Of course this is pretty generic, but I don't know enough to be more specific.
2007-02-13 22:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by A L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wonder why I was even considering having anything to do with him....being lonely is not a good reason.
He left you when you were ill....he has/had a drinking problem...he apologized in an e-mail.
2007-02-13 22:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You both must have been young. For something like this, he should have called you instead of emailed you. Have you responded yet? If not, email him back with your phone number and tell him you would like to talk to him. I hope he calls. You need to actually hear it from him and he needs to actually hear your response. My advice is to forgive him. Remember, that doesn't excuse what he did, but it releases you of the past hurt.
I think that would be better closure, don't you?
2007-02-13 22:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that AA has people do is apologize to all the people whose lives they f-'d up. I would take him at his word, thank him for taking the time to apologize, and ask him how he is these days, or how's the weather, or how 'bout those Bears, or whatever. He's not bringing baggage into this, so you don't either.
Peace
2007-02-13 22:41:46 · answer #10 · answered by Don M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋