my boyfriend and I have been toghter for 3 yrs. I want to talk to him about getting married or even engaged would be fine. The problem is I don't know what to say. Please help.
2007-02-13 14:04:54 · 11 answers · asked by kimmatt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he should be talking to you about it not you talking to him
2007-02-13 14:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Well, after 3 years, don't you think you should know how to talk to your boyfriend? Are you afraid that you are going to run him off by asking questions of that nature? If being married is staying on your mind more than it is staying off, you need to talk to him about it. Pick a time when you are alone with him and you are both relaxed. Then tell him you have something on your mind and you feel that you need to speak with him about it. You can usually tell from their first reaction where this conversation is going to lead. It could be walking right out your front door, or it could wake the lug up and make him take note. He may need time to let it soak in, so don't expect an answer right away. Remember, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you then its yours. If it doesn't then it never was.
2007-02-13 22:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by ohyo5o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you feel comfortable enough to broach the subject with him, and great that you haven't done so by nagging. If he's the playful type, perhaps you can slip marriage into the right conversation without crossing the line. Say something like, "Yeah, I could marry a guy like you", and see how he reacts.
If you'd rather approach it seriously, then feel out his mood for the right time and tell him that you're feeling like the two of you have been together long enough to know that you make a good pair, that you feel that you're ready to commit to him, and ask how he feels about that. That way, you're not putting any pressure on him for his own answer. Give him time to mull it over.
2007-02-13 23:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the guy that does the asking, not the woman. You may end up chasing him away if you bring the subject up.
I am editing this to add another comment which I think is important for all women. - My father was a shy (virgin) country boy BUT when he met my mother - he wrote her a letter asking her to marry him (they had never even been on a date). My husband had women chasing him when he was single; one girl he had even dated in between other girls, but when he met me - he KNEW I was the one, even though one girl he dated off and on for TEN years. MORAL OF THESE STORIES - no matter how shy a guy is, no matter how long he has known someone, etc. etc. - a man will have no problem asking a woman to marry him - when he wants THAT woman. And if a woman does not let this situation happen according to nature's laws (waiting for the man to ask) - she will be miserable in the long run. Because when arguments arise - the man will always throw this up in the woman's face - "you chased me", "you proposed to me", "it's your fault if you are not happy being married to me", etc. etc.
Also, you say you would be happy just to be engaged. Are you in love with this man or are you in love with the idea of engagements and marriage? If you truly love this man, you will accept him for as he is, and let him be the one to do the asking. He will ask when he gets ready. You do not mention your ages. Some men are not ready for the responsibility of marraige, i.e. a mortgage, a wife to support, a baby in the future, etc. etc. Maybe he wants to get through college first, maybe he has bills he wants to pay off first before making a commitment, etc. etc. If you truly love him then you would care about his happiness - you will accept him on his terms and not try to rush him or force him into anything.
2007-02-13 22:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by Orion777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him where are we going from here? You don't tell your age and therefore its hard for me to know if he's ready. If it is any consolation to you, my daughter was with her boyfriend 7 years before they got married, he wanted to but just wasn't ready until the talk about children came up and my daughter says if there is a child out of wedlock it will have her last name and not his. 6 months later they got engaged and a year later married, that was 11 years ago with 2 girls 10 and 8.
2007-02-13 22:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How has the relationship been going? Do you do things together? I mean do you behave like a real serious couple or do you act like boyfriend & girlfriend. If you're still in the BF/GF mode then I wouldn't say anything quite yet to him.
If you have spoken of being exclusive in this relationship & have been for awhile then it's time to turn up the heat & ask him what his intentions are? If they aren't honorable, you know what to do.
2007-02-13 23:18:50 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a nice dinner and bring up a conversation about how long u have been together and how perfect u are with each other talk about how other poeple got married give him clues to he will ask u to marry him
2007-02-13 22:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by soccerlover63401 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to marry you. There's only 3 things he could say. Yes, no, or I don't know. You've waited long enough for him to ask you in my opinion.
2007-02-13 22:14:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him if he ever thinks about marriage, or a related question, just like in conversation, be reading a magazine or something and just make it like it just came to you and your curious...you can read by his response to that if / how you should continue the conversation
2007-02-13 22:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by MaryLou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good you are willing to broach the subject with your boyfriend. I would suggest you ask him about his plans for the future and if that includes marriage. I would then venture on by asking if he sees a future with you.
2007-02-13 22:11:18 · answer #10 · answered by Laughing 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋