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There's a guy I've known for over 10 years off and on. The last several months we've gotten to be very close friends, and he's gotten to know my husband and children as well.

The other day he took me to a furniture store in his truck to pick something up. My husband was working so my niece babysat. When we got back, I took my niece home and he stayed with the kids while I was gone (15 minutes tops).

Today I got a call from my mother lecturing me cause I left the kids with him for a few minutes, and how I don't know him well enough to trust him.... when the fact is,... its HER that doesn't know him. She implied that I'm negligent and incompetent as a parent, that I put my children in danger,... she yelled and argued.... and when I argued back, she hung up on me.

Am I wrong to be angry that my own mother thinks I'm a negligent and incompetent parent when everything I've ever done proves otherwise? And how do I forgive that kind of insult, especially from my own mother?

2007-02-13 13:31:06 · 7 answers · asked by just_me3575 3 in Family & Relationships Family

I said off and on for 10 years....but I didn't say casually. We were quite close several years ago, its just that I hadn't seen him in a while. I'm a good judge of character, always have been, so having spent alot of time with him in the last 6 months and observing how he is with my children,.... I have to disagree with you. People leave their children with daycare providers they've never met every day. And the fact that SHE doesn't know him or spend time with him does not mean he's a danger to my children. And thats her issue.... she can't control it.

2007-02-13 13:43:26 · update #1

Millie, you sound like my mother. You wouldn't leave your children with a close family friend just because he happens to be male... no matter how long you've known him or how trustworthy he's always been? Thats one of the problems I have with this whole issue. Put the insinuations that I'm incompetent aside,...to distrust someone and actually expect the worst just because he's man.... there's something wrong with that way of thinking. There are alot of great guys out there that just plain like kids.... in a very wholesome and innocent way. I'm cautious, particular...and extremely over protective with my children. He's only the 2nd non-family member I've trusted enough to take care of them.... and my oldest is 12. Even still, it was only once, and only for a few minutes. I just can't be that cynical and won't prejudge on a basis of gender alone. Its wrong.

2007-02-13 14:21:23 · update #2

7 answers

You sound like the reasonable one in this situation. How about planning a day with Mom and have your friend come too. Suggest to her, that if she met him and spent some time with him, maybe her concerns could rest at ease. Maybe she'd calm down. For her to accuse you of something like this is very hurtful. If getting them together isn't possible, then take her to lunch, and calmly tell her that you appreciate her concern for her grandchildren, but you feel very hurt over what she said about your parenting skills. Remind her, that she raised you to be a good, responsible parent, and that you would never do anything to jeopardize your children's safety. Also, you may want to bring up that even your husband did not have a problem with this. Hopefully, you can get your point across in a calm way, and if she still doesn't accept this, than at least you did what you could do, and she will have to learn to accept that you are a responsible adult, and that you are capable of making competent decisions. Best of Luck...

2007-02-13 14:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by sassy_395 4 · 2 0

I will not leave my children to a man that I've know off and on even for a hundred years,even he is a close family friend. Your mother is just concerned of her grandchildren,(is that a crime?) Forget the incident and forgive your mother and move on..

2007-02-13 14:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0 0

In todays world you have to be very careful of who you leave your kids with. You mom is just overly concerned. If you are comfortable with leaving your children with this man, go ahead. You will get over this with your mom. It will take some time for her maybe.

2007-02-13 13:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 1 0

YOUR MOTHER IS CORRECT!!!!! You should never have left your children with a guy you have known OFF & ON for 10 years, it was a very bad decision. Don't be angry with your mother, she is only concerned for the welfare of your children and for that you should be grateful!!!

2007-02-13 13:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by Faith 2 · 1 1

she sounds like having narcissistic personality disorder, check it up on the search engine, she sounds pretty similar to my mom, never happy, only criticizing the people especially those close to her. You need to acknowledge that this is not your fault, she has a disorder and you need to stop contacting her..

2007-02-13 13:37:09 · answer #5 · answered by tostosh 1 · 0 0

Follow your own judgement, don't let your mom call them for you... It is important that you live your life on your own terms and do the things that make you happy (as long as it is not murdering people... jk)...

Good luck!!

2007-02-13 14:52:52 · answer #6 · answered by goddessofchaos50 2 · 0 0

no, you are not wrong to be hurt and offended by this. i would fell the same way if i were you. tell your mom how you feel. hopefully you two can get past this and move on. it is hard i know but hang in there. hope this helps. good luck.

2007-02-13 13:59:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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