he has a huge debt from his divorce(he chose to give her everything) now i have never been married and saved all my life(36 yrs) and have about 100k.he asked me awhile ago to pay of his debt and i said no and i thought he was ok with it but things have never been the same.he makes digs like"no one ever helped me out i have to take care of myself" i think it was great of him to give his exwife everything for their son but i should not have to "clean up the mess"so to say.am i wrong?
2007-02-13 12:56:27 · 7 answers · asked by doglovers67 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you are using your head when you should. You should definitely not pay off his debt if you feel uncomfortable about it.
He made his decisions, and they sound like good ones, but he needs to be responsible and own them.
However, what are you guys going to do when you are married, separate checking and savings? Have you guys started budgeting together? You probably should see a financial planner if he has a lot of debt and you have a lot to invest.
2007-02-13 13:00:34 · answer #1 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont really think your wrong, as long as he is working and making some sort of payment on his debt, think about this, if you make him to mad to where he wants a divorce then he will take half of everything you own including your savings unless you made him sign a prenup, if he is working to pay his debt then i think you should help him out a little, after all you did marry this person and love him so you dont want him to be worring
2007-02-13 13:01:11 · answer #2 · answered by camaroconvertible 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong if you are honest with yourself about your motives. You will have much better luck doing something about your own part in the relationship. Do you secretly have feelings of superiority? Do you secretly feel your money gives you control? Things like this are not a good basis for a relationship.
2007-02-13 13:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by orderly logic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, whoa, wow. BIG RED FLAG.
You worked hard all of your life and was smart with your money by saving it, and he expects you to take everything that YOU earned just to pay off HIS debt? NEVER let someone pull that crap on you. NEVER let him use that guilt trip. Never.
I would REALLY think long and hard before you marry this man. Oh God, do not pay off his debt, that's all I have to say. That's YOUR hard earned money, you'll never see it again.
2007-02-13 13:30:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay it off. You worked for that money, and I think it's awful of him to ask you.
2007-02-13 13:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you have not.......its your money, you decide what to do with it.
and sorry to say this 100k is nothing now days.....my parents are making 500k (half a million).
2007-02-13 12:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by PROUD TO BE A LIBERAL TEEN! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is something you must decide for yourself
2007-02-13 13:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by jonluke s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋