How to get him to listen...?

Question

How do I get my very independent 2 and 1/2 year old son to listen to me and his grandma? He completly ignores us until we threaten to take away something he likes then he listens. Time out doesn't work, spanking (only when he could get physically hurt) doesn't work, and he is driving me nuts. I don't think I am very strict, I didn't even punish him when he wrote on the wall because frankly it was a very good A and T. He is very smart but doesn't talk and I know that causes him some frustration but I am trying my best to help him with that and keep him calm. He is always worse at night but does ignore us duing the day as well. He hears just fine because if you whisper and ask him if he wants his fruit snaks he runs to the food closet to get it. Please don't say this is the terrible twos because this has been going on for over a year but has gotten worse the last few weeks. I have to go from calmly asking him to do something, three or four times then it progresses to just yelling

Answer 1

You can try to let him know each morning that you will only ask him to do things once, and if he does not listen and react, then there will be a consequence. Be very specific about what the consequence is and be sure it is something that will have an effect on him (e.g. taking a toy away). Ask once, and don't repeat yourself. If he doesn't listen, then implement the consequence. That way, you won't get frustrated and get to a point where you yell. Be consistent and follow through (even if he draws a nice A - you can praise the A, but still have a consequence choosing to draw on the wall). If you don't follow through it will only continue to get worse. He'll get the point soon enough. And do have his speech evaluated.

Answer 2

First thing to address is his speech. A good speech therapist can assist with this. Hecould be very frustrated trying to communicate.

Secondly, take the emotion out of disciplining him. You need to be firm and consistant in what you do. Warn him (once) what the consequences will be if he misbehaves in some way and enforce the punishment immediately (at two years old a timeout on the couch or in a chair in the corner should surfice). If he walks away, take him back until he sits still for at least a few minutes. Ignore tantrums (as long as he is not hurting anyone or himself or in public). When giving direction, repeat the same thing in the same tone 3 times. Usually, but not always, it works. For instance, "No cookie until after you eat supper". Do not change the words nor the tone. I've used it on my girlfriends kids lots! Works on adults too..."I'm not making dinner tonight Fend for yourself" :-)

Watch supernanny. She has some great tips. I've used them all before her show ever came on......only I didn't get paid.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Maybe you should talk to a doctor for some advice. You said he is 2 and half and doesn't talk. That isn't right. My son is the same age and he talks my ear off, as well as all other kids his age that I know. Maybe he has a bigger medical problem or something. If my son wasn't talking yet I would definately talk to his doctor.

Answer 4

Loving, care, and alittle bitta anger. Perfect medicine to stubborn kids. Talk to him nicely, ALWAYS, but be sure you're not pampering him in anyway. Explain to him why he has to listen, and what he has to do. (whatever it is you're asking of him.) If he still refuses, start a little game with him. Everytime he refuses to listen, take one thing away from him. And every time he listens, give one thing back!

Answer 5

okay....myself and my fiancee have a 2 and 1/2 yr old little girl,she is very set in her own ways....i would not reccommend a speech therapist or developmental classes...all children develop differently...whenever you and your son are going to play with something or are about to go somewhere ect.. try this....okay your about to get his cup and things that you will need to leave and say "where's your cup ------? and once he shows you or finds it and brings it to you say "what is this?" and if he doesn't say it .... tell him again what it is and tell him to say it like c-u-p ...
start with small words lie da-da, ma-ma, ect... all it takes is repeatedly saying things to him and speaking directly to him and showing him encouragement and he'll catch on... best of luck

Answer 6

be strict and do fun things without him you and grandma play PlayStation while he copies a financial law book he will change his tune pretty quick