Children misbehaving?

Question

How do i stop my 41/2 year old son being violent towards other children?
He thinks it`s funny and a big game to push other kids about,he just laughs at me when i tell him off.

I`ve actually had to stop his nursery friend from coming round to play as he pushed her down the stairs,thankfully she wasn`t hurt.

I don`t understand where he gets this from as me and his dad when we were together were never violent towards each other or our son.

I am waiting to get him assessed for dyspraxia and i think one of the symptoms is Inappropriate behaviour and he doesn`t understand how dangerous his actions are.He has learning difficulties and can`t speak so i can`t sit him down and talk to him and make sense of his reasons for behaving this way,it`s also nothing to do with his dad leaving us as he was doing it before,advice appreciated,thanx.

I didn`t say my son was a bad child as he`s not apart from this pushing carryon,as for his enviroment it`s fine,he`s a happy child and very loved.

Answer 1

Next time when he acts the way you describe, END THE ACTIVITY FOR THE DAY. Not a few minutes in the naughty chair or corner - just end it. If it is a playground, leave and go home. Explain that there will be no more play today, because he broke the rules and pushed another kid. Tell him to be nice NEXT TIME. Do not give second chances. If you stick to your guns, after a few times, you will start to see results.

I also find that expressions with the word "Rule" work much better than "I don't want you ...", "you must not", or "be a good boy" and so on. For some reason, when you refer to the Rules, the need to resit goes away. Not sure why, perhaps for the same reason we all try to resists direct orders but comply with rules.

Answer 2

How do you know it has nothing to do with the fact that his father is no longer present? Maybe your son picked up on the vibes going on between you and your ex. Kids are like that. As a child of divorce myself, there were so many things I experienced as a kid that didn't make any sense, until I read some recent studies about the affect divorce has on kids. Children of divorce are more likely to act out, become violent, anxious, depressed, and lack trust in others.

Do some research and take your kid to a psychologist. Your family might benefit if you both went. Please don't take offense to this request. I often wonder how much more peaceful my childhood would have been if the adults understood the affects their decisions made on the kids.

Also, has he been screened for autism? It's odd that he doesn't speak at that age.

Answer 3

If he has learning disabilities, maybe he has a high level of frustration and acts out. If he thinks it's funny, tho, and laughs you off, it seems his conscience isn't well developed. You want to talk with him about how he would feel if others treated him that way.


He might also have ADD, which make kids impulsive. Is he truly laughing it off, or do you sense he's ashamed and wants you to think he's not bothered?

I would wait to let him be around another child until he asks to, then tell him you cannot allow that because you cannot be sure other kids won't get hurt by him. I have a good friend whose son has down syndrome and he sounds like your son - we had to tell our kids finally, look, deck him if he won't stop. In addition, I had to make sure we constantly monitored him, so he couldn't get to hit the other kids without, at least, an adult being right there to reprimand and keep the other kids safe.

As far as why he's aggresive when you guys don't hit him or each other, it could be a condition he has. ALso, kids who enter day care before age 3 are much more aggressive and have more behavior problems than kids who don't, so if that's true in his case, it could account for it.

Answer 4

Have you also checked his hearing, since he can't speak maybe he doesn't hear well either. If that is the case you will waste your time hollering for him to stop and he won't. If his hearing is ok maybe you can try some of the techniques that The Nanny uses on tv. I have began using her techniques such as one warning for bad behavior and then standing in the naughty spot 1 minute for each year of the childs age. Also I'm using a chart which Michael just loves I put down things like picking up toys- following directions--listening to teacher at pre-k He is so excited to put stickers next to the things that he achieved. Its been so much better when we are out now and shopping if he starts to act up I only have to remind him of his chart and say "are you using good manners?" and he straightens right up. If he continues to misbehave I let him no that we will be removing his good manners sticker for the day. My goodness you would think I beat the you-no-what out of him he gets so upset but I will follow through and now he knows it i haven't had to remove stickers all week. Anyway I wish you well and good luck to you.

Answer 5

Usually when a child has delayed speech, there is alot of frustration involved and what starts of as a push to get the point across, becomes a real forceful push. With ASD spectrum disorders this kind of behaviour is ever so common.
It could be he is re-enforcing his own personal space, my son has autistic tendancies and when he was smaller he often pushed others away who he felt were to close to him, he also had delayed speech and when frustrated pushed out.
You can sit down with him, he will already have a sense of your mood with him by the tone in your voice. I appreciate he wont be able to give you the answers you want, but even children with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorders) Need boundaries, even in my daughter who is 3 1/2 and her peers at playgroup we are seeing them push and shoove. Praise, praise, praise when he is behaving how you want him to,(and reward him too when possible, give him stickers for playing nicely?) the usual recommendation is to ignore the little stuff or you end up giving attention for negative behaviour, but if he is hurting the other children you do need to tell him so, keep your voice firm and level. when your angry you tend to raise your voice and he may be reacting to your reaction. In some cases its not uncommon for Junior to laugh like billy-oh when they are being told off, I think when your in the situation of being on your own it makes it twice as hard. Speak to his nursery ask how they manage the behaviour, have they got a SENCO? (special needs co-ordinator?) If Nursery are managing it by a firm NO, (dont shout it.) and removing him for a time-out or using a distraction technique when they can see he is going to start pushing, try doing the same at home.
It is a demanding job, having a child with special needs, trying to manage their behaviour. It does mean you have to make a lot of adjustments, learn as much as you can about the condition, there are alot of recommendations on web sites for specific ASD conditions and tips for managing behaviour.
Dont blame yourself, as long as you do the best that you can and you get the support you need it will work out, it will just take time and alot of patience.
Good Luck

Answer 6

Well you explain to your child and ask them why they did what they did ask if that was a good choice or bad which it is bad and explain to them that they will go to time out for 2 minutes let them get mad and when you are ready to come out and you are calm then he will be let out acknowledge their anger but do not accept them talking back or acting in a bad way. If there is something more to his behavior then professional help is needed. You must be firm with the child I worked with preschoolers before each kid is different some you have to be more firm.

Answer 7

precisely, maximum mom and dad of unwell-mannered infants are undesirable mom and dad besides the indisputable fact that they think of they're doing great. They harm the youngsters and the youngsters purely play them for the fools they're. I watched this guy interior the airport the day previous to this, his baby became screaming and cussing, he became in basic terms approximately 6 or 7 simply by fact he did no longer prefer to apply the bathing room. This father is all approximately, oh Johnny you probably did such a competent activity washing your hands, i'm so pleased with you. This baby at that age would desire to have sufficient admire for his parent that he does what he's informed with out argument. One swat on the backside would have long gone plenty further than the a million/2 hour coaxing this guy tried. I in basic terms had to swat my son as quickly as and he knew dad meant business enterprise from that day forward, he by no ability acted up lower back. So for all of us that thinks spanking would not paintings, your incorrect, there's a time while they're at that age that this is valuable. in case you wait too long till they're of their infants that is too late and it seldom works. there became a baby in the back of me that saved kicking the seat and the mummy became purely, quit that, do no longer try this. the baby saved it up till I stood up and informed them to knock it off or circulate, they right away stumbled on manners. Why is it people wait till you're saying some thing in the previous they understand what a discomfort they're?

Answer 8

You can get on your knees and Talk to him, FACE TO FACE! Do Not say you CAN'T! YOU JUST haven't! Right? Eye to eye contact, a hug, and Love! He doesn't make "sense"? You don't make "sense" to me! How much Sugar does he get in a day? Any Fish or Veggies? Can't Speak? Have you had his Hearing tested? Do you feed him DAIRY? There are so many things you need to CHECK OUT, before YOU NAME IT and take no blame! Violent? Inappropriate behavior? Dangerous? Babies are NOT BORN THAT WAY! What is going on, here? Good luck!

Answer 9

sounds like he is just like any other 4 1/2 year old chick hes just seeing how much he can get away with things.
my advise is consistancy and charts, i use reward star charts with my daughter and i have a naughty chair every time she plays up she goes on the naughty chair for the same length of time as her age so every year add a minute it sounds harsh but it works and if your out and about take a small chart in your bag its amazing how good a child can be if they think they are gettin something out of it (nanny 911 really halped me learn a few things give it a watch you can get clips up on www.utube.com
she has done shows with cildren with learning difficulties too)
GOOD LUCK

Answer 10

just because he hasn't done it before dosen't mean that it not about his dad leaving. Has he got a fatherly figure to look up to? If he does see if he can speak with your son the next time he acts out at another child