Me and my gf have been talking about moving in together for a few months. We have been together for 8 months. She has $60,000 in debt. She also has a freeloading brother that has to stay with us(he is 23 and works but does not give $$). She is working hard at 2 jobs to keep herself afloat. I love her but all that plus her chaotic schedule and stressed attitude is not something I like. I have expressed my concerns to her but she blows them off. Now her lease is expiring in a couple of months and she is expecting me to move in to help with the bills. I told her I do not think I can do it after all and she got very upset. Any Adviice? Thanks for your responses.
2007-02-13 11:46:28 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YOu are doing the right thing!!!
You have only been with her for 8 months... you need at least 2-5 years to get to know someone.
The fact that she is $60000 in debt, means she isnt the best with handling money, and if she cant handle her own, she wont be respecting or handling yours properly. Y
ou will eventually be stuck paying all the bills for her.
$60000 is alot of money, and if you intend on ever marrying her, you will be marrying her debt too.
She also lets her freeloading brother in too?? This girl has serious problems, and her brother has problems too.
If you want my honest opinion... you seem to have you act together, by simply thinking about this logically..
If you are to go any further with her in a relationship, she will bring you down. YOu are better off being her friend, and letting her find her own way.
Please please, whatever you do, stick to your guns. It will be hard and sad for her, but she has to figure out her own life, and be stable first!
2007-02-13 11:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is very responsible for you to be concerned about her debts and lifestyle. I have debts and know how it feels, although it's not that bad. I think that you are doing the right thing by telling her no. She needs to get her life way together and that should have nothing to do with you moving in. If you do move in w/ her it would help her out a lot, but then you are going to have the stress of her being stressed all the time. I feel if you don't make the comittment of moving in w/ her she may feel that you are not ready for a relationship and want to leave you. How do you feel about that?
2007-02-13 11:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by Candi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right, it's going to be hard on the relationship if she can't understand.
I have to have Home to go to it is very important to me, like when I am down or when everything seems wrong with the world. I just want to go home. I think it would be hard to consider it Home under the current circumstanes that you have mentioned.
The Brother living there with the two of you is not a good idea.
2007-02-13 12:19:38 · answer #3 · answered by Plain Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answerer, she seems to see you as an ATM or something, much like her brother who is mooching off of her. I say "Run as far as you can and never look back". If you were to move in with her and her brother, they would put you in as deep debt as she is in or worse!
2007-02-13 11:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her that you would feel awkward with her brother living there it would be to stressful
2007-02-13 11:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she really likes (loves?) you she will understand and if not...this will only be the beginning of MANY problems in your future..good luck!
2007-02-13 11:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by aerochik9675 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do anything that you are not comfortable with.
2007-02-13 11:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by tchem75 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just one word... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-13 11:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋