she's a screamer and a squeeler, help!!?

Question

i have a daughter who will be 2 in april she does what most little children do i suppose.....screams! If we are shopping the smallest thing will set her off and the roof on the shopping center shutters....im sure it does! at home she is a lovely girl sweetest little butter wouldnt melt in her mouth type kid but then one tiny thing,like her pram getting caught on the corner of the door and thats it she screams.I caught her pouring bbq sauce and flour into the cuppboard and i pulled her away kneeled in front of her and told her how naughty she was (it was partly my fault as i was folding and wasnt watching her)and she just screamed in my face over and over for about 2 minutes at a time.How can i deal with this with out smacking her? i have smacked before and i still do but she laughs at me!if i dont react to the screaming she makes a growling noise and try's to bite me i need a way to deal with her tantrums...any suggestion? anyone..please um help!ps. this child is very smart!!

if she bites i do bite her back well i used to but it got to the point where i had to stop because she would laugh when i did it.If i wanted it to hurt her i would have to draw blood and i think thats going a little bit too far dont you lol?

Answer 1

she is not a baby, do not allow this behavior to continue, when she screams quickly spray her in her face with a small bottle of water -it won't hurt but sure will startle her, and she won't think that she is in control any longer, or pinch her when she dares to scream..or pop her in her mouth, like a small slap, stop this absurd behavior. She has to learn to cope with life as any child does, and what is acceptable or not. bite you??? if it were my child i would bite her right back, [well not hard of course] do this when you are home alone with her, trust me, she will not even attempt to bite you again.

Answer 2

Don't worry about what others think in public. Your child is 2, she is going to have temper tantrums. That is why they call it terrible two's! If you get dirty looks tell them to buy some *&%$# ear plugs. If you give your daughter much of a reaction, it is only going to reinforce her bad behavior...She knows that a tantrum will get her attention, so if you ignore the bad behavior and spend more time praising her when she is good, she will soon know what the better way to go is. This approach works very well at home too! "Catch" her being good...Make a big to do about it, do a dance, make a song up about how she's being such a good girl! She will love it!
I sometimes put my two year old in her crib if she is inconsolable. Sometimes a few minutes by herself works wonders with calming her down. Other times I peek my head in a few minutes after I put her in there and she is fast asleep! If your little girl is already able to climb out of her crib, then close her bedroom door or put a gate up...Just make sure there is nothing in the room that she can easily get hurt on. And then go sit down and relax for a few minutes, drink a cup of tea, whatever it takes to make you feel a little better...You deserve it, being a mom is one tough gig!

Answer 3

Your daughter has no concept of how to handle her problems. My kids went through this too. I know of a lot of parents who assume their kid is going to pick up problem handling skills by osmosis but this is not true!

Just as you need to tell her not to pick her nose or eat food off the floor, so you also need to tell her how to handle her problems. When the pram bumps the door and gets stuck, ask her "how should we handle this?" or some other similar question. Then answer the question for her. "We say ooopsie, we back out and we try again!"

Practice at home with problem-solving. Sesame Street has some good videos as well about this. She is at a stage in her life when she is confronted with something bad, she has no idea of how to handle it, so she screams. She needs to learn that screaming doesn't work, but solving the problem does!

Answer 4

you're biting your kid? not good. Sounds like you're desperate to have this stop. I can understand that when she's screaming her head off. There is some kind of response she's getting from you which is reinforcing her bad behaviour. You just said she's very smart so she KNOWS that if she bahaves that way you will behave a certain way. She will continue to do this as log as she gets what she wants from you. remeber that a response can be positive (you give her an item she wants) or negative ( you biter her but she's getting your attention) either way she wins because you are no longer in control she is. Modify your behavior in order to modify hers.

Answer 5

She sounds like she doesn't do well with certain stimuli and doesn't know how to cope. Very smart kids are very sensitive because they emotionally are still young, tho their cognitions may be advanced.

It's not helpful to tell her she's naughty - that's really pretty meaningless to her except to know you're rejecting her. Smacking her is one of the most profound violations of a child's dignity and you would be wrong to ever do that again.

What you do, as you noted, is monitor her. You don't punish her when you're not monitoring her. Her job is to get into things, make experiments. You tell her she's naughty for that and punish her for that and you destroy her initiative.

That doesn't mean you don't teach her how to act. When she's screaming, take her out of her pram, hold her tight and say, "You are having trouble staying in control. I know you want to be in control and I will hold you and help you gain control." You also want to teach her the words for her feelings, so she doesn't have to scream in frustration. "You're angry/scared/frustrated" are the things you say to teach her to recognize her feelings. You tell her, use your words. We don't scream.

Also, in public, take her away immediately when she screams. And tell her 'other people work here, people are shopping here, people need peace and quiet here. we must respect other people and act properly in public."

With things like the cupboard, you have to say "these are not for playing with, these are for cooking." all your bottom cabinets should be only things she can play with, ideally, because you need to let her explore and feel in control of her environment.

you want to make her environment as friendly to her as possible, so you rarely have to say "NO."

Good luck!

Answer 6

why dont you just give her a taste of her own medicine. i have a son that used to do this. so when he had a screaming fit, so did i.
embarressed him so badly i only had to do it twice..some-times when we are parents we have to worry less about the way we appear to other people to deal with the task at hand.

Answer 7

If she laughs at you when you smack her you aren't doing it hard enough. Instead of hitting harder, try a good serious pinch in the skin and muscle under the arm. Pinch her and put your serious face right in front of hers until you get her attention and tell her simply "No". Repeat applications as needed.

Answer 8

Yell, dont be nice at all, take everything away from her, take her to her room, smack her hard (not the face) if nothing else works