what if i went through alot of trouble to spend the weekend at his family's house, and the same day i left he called this girl. and they have been talking since. he even asked her out. "as friends". when i confronted him with it. he said they really are "just friends" and the only reason he talks to her is because he tell her his problems and she listens. oh and he deleted all the previous messages. so, am i over exagerating? or does this not sound like a bunch of bs? we've been together for almost 2yrs. i know he loves me, but this sounds like bs? am i right? should i listen and beleive him? or should i just forget about him?
2007-02-13 11:31:57 · 29 answers · asked by belle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Unless he can stick his weener in the hard drive, you don't have anything to worry about.
2007-02-13 11:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by Hi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it could be a bit more serious than just friends and the fact that he deleted previous messages is suspicious unless he does that will all messages. At the same time, if you love him and trust him, you should consider taking him on his word unless you have a specific reason not to trust him. Even if you were married, he has the right to have friends - even female friends. But he does need to be open and honest with you about them.
For Heather: You consider talking and sharing personal things to be emotional cheating. Does that mean confiding personal things with your best friend (of the same sex) would be cheating? It is very possible for a man and a woman to be good friends without having a physical or romantic relationship. And being in a romantic relationship does not mean a person has to give up friends just because they are the other sex.
2007-02-13 11:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is complete and utter BS. Your proof? He deleted all the previous emails. There is not other reason for him to do that unless he wanted to hide something from you.
If they were truely just friends, he would have let you read ALL previous correspondence so you could see for yourself that there is nothing to worry about.
And, how did he get her phone number, and she get his? Maybe it's just me but my boyfriend and I have an "unspoken but common knowledge" understanding that i don't give my phone number out to strange men, and he dosen't give his number out to strange women. It is just out of respect.
If you still don't think he's got anything going on with this girl, ask him if the three of you can go out to dinner or something together. If he says no way, he's got something to hide.
Also, as a side bar.. how many friends of his are girls? If not many, then why the sudden need for a female friend, outside of you?
(And, not to generalize all guys, but most guys don't look at friendships with women the same way women think of thier friendships with men. Just ask yahoo.... the guys will tell you ...)
2007-02-13 11:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by Asami 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't cheating to have friends of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship, but most people don't go out of their way to look for new ones, especially on line. He might not be cheating, but I agree it looks suspicious. Besides if his "problems" involve you, he definitely shouldn't be sharing them with her. He could go to a professional counsellor or at least someone he's known for longer to talk about personal things. I wouldn't be surprised if he left you for her. Sorry but that's how I see the situation. Maybe you should try giving him an ultimatum- he drops her or you drop him.
2007-02-13 11:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound a bit suspicious, but as much evidence as you have, I'd say your over-reacting.
He IS aloud to have other female friends, and if he wants to go hang out with them, thats his decision..
You, on the other hand, have the right to know if he's fooling around on you, and if they are "just friends."
Deleting his messages sounds a little fishy, but think back, did you two have a fight that he may have complained a lot to her about.
You say he tells her his problems, good, for two reasons.
- If the problem is something reguarding you, it will be easier for him to get it off his chest
- If it isnt you, well, at least he has an alternitive to whine to, I would know, all of my friends use me as somewhat of a therapist, would you rather have your boyfriend treat you like that.
I realise that you are suspicious, and I would be to, but try to relax.
You say he loves you, and you know that, but you have to ask yourself, do you truly believe him, and do you love him enough to trust him.
2007-02-13 11:43:33 · answer #5 · answered by Ethernaut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reading your other questions, your confused. You believe in faithfulness yet ultimately our faithfulness is to be to Jesus. When we expect others to do as we do in a relationship-it can split the relationship. He had you meet his parents and stay over-which you went to alot of trouble to do. Sum it up--where is the relationship heading-does he intend to marry you before sex or does he intend to use you till he finds someone he would marry. He is searching out-and he as done it behind your back and kept you from seeing the exchanges. Step back and relax--where is it heading--if he is going to be meeting new females--and he doesnt intend on marrying you-then your headed for
I know for me letting Jesus into my heart to forgive my sins and help me -gave me a new start in life and took away my confussion. Your heart is in this relationship, if his isnt you have been decieved and not only wasted your time but quite possible lost your integrity too-but its all restorable for you at this point in your life-true love seeks the others best good. Me and my g/f intend to marry and we dont have sex-we respect each other and honor each other and even share the joys of Jesus together more fun than i ever had in all my life
. Once I was a slutty guy and didnt respect my x girl friends but used them for what I could get yet deep inside i believed in marriage but i lived against Jesus-till salvation then i repented to God and those I had used too, and saw miracles. John chapter 3 repented and born again free to be me and totally happy.
2007-02-13 12:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he felt he had to delete out the messages then there is most likely something going on if not currently but potentially.
How would he feel if he was in your shoes? Would he be okay with you chatting with some random guy and hanging out with him because he listens to your problems?
2007-02-13 11:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he shouldn't be telling all "his problems" to a female friend. How frickin' inappropriate. If these "problems" concern you, he should be talking to you. If you are his girlfriend, why can't he turn to you for support?? Do you really think it's ok for him to turn to another woman for emotional support?? Why do you think he needs to have another female in his life that he is apparently not interested in romantically?? It doesn't add up. I think he's feeling the situation out in terms of whether he wants to be involved with this woman now, or later, or maybe just hypothetically. How many men do you know that want to "just be friends" with other women?? I don't know any. Tell him to get some guy friends if he's lacking in that department. I think it's bull and I wouldn't stand for it.
2007-02-13 11:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your bf may consider the girl to be his "friend", but he is sharing sensitive information with her, sharing his problems...he can do that with you. He likely figures if there is no sex or physical relationship, it is not considered cheating. However, this is called emotional cheating. If it upsets you, (and it does) definitely confront him again. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and offer your listening ears, so he obviously won't need hers anymore. If he is hesitant about it...well, only you can make the decision to break up with him, and that is a difficult one to make. Only you can decide based on what he says. I wish you all the best. Take care.
2007-02-13 11:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by Heather 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriend is cheating. You are not over exagerating. He either doesn't have the nads to break up with you, wants his cake and eat it to (does she know about you??), and he wants you to be the bad guy....dump him. What you tell him, if anything (personally I wouldn't give the guy the time of day), its up to you. He doesn't love you. If he loved you, he would not be fooling around and misbehaving the way that he is.
If he is telling you that you are exagerating and that she is "just a friend," he must think you are a complete idiot or he must be a complete moron.
2007-02-13 11:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, 2 things..
You can love more than one woman partner (as a man, I don't know about as a woman)
and secondly, it gets serious when you have webcam cyber sex.. thats when it really gets heated, because after that it's very easy to just slip into bed with them the next time they meet you.
Try to catch him out, if not go online, maybe you'll find the right guy.
2007-02-13 11:38:15 · answer #11 · answered by James K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋