How can I make my son not be scared to sleep in his room?

Question

My son is 4 and he will literally scream and say he is scared to sleep in his room. He doesn't sleep in bed with us he sleeps on the couch at night. I would like him to sleep in his room, but he is sooo scared to sleep in his room . He would literally bawl his eyes out for hours. What do i do!

Answer 1

It's about control. Right now, he controls you. Be strong.

Answer 2

Have you tried asking him why he's scared? He might not even be scared..he might just be trying to see what he can get away with, and he's found an excuse that gets him what he wants. He might have figured out that "I'm scared" and crying is the way to get mom and dad to allow him to sleep on the couch.

However, if he can give you reasons why he's afraid of his room then that's a sign that he truly IS afraid of something.

Maybe he doesn't like to be in a dark room. In that case, get him a nightlight. Maybe one that's his favorite color.

Maybe he doesn't like to be alone. In that case, take him to the toy store and let him pick out a "special friend" to sleep with.

Maybe even get him a special pillow or blanket. Get some books about sleeping in a new bed (they've got tons of books on this subject for kids).

Answer 3

Well you are going to have to give up your bed for a little while to get him back in his. You need to tell him that you will sleep in his room (not in his bed, that will only start another habit) Sleep in his floor while he sleeps in his bed, make a big deal out of it, the next night sleep a little closer to the door while he sleeps in his bed, again make a huge deal out of it. The next night you sleep on the couch and so on until you are back in your room. You need to give lots of praise for him staying in his own room. Good luck it will be hard but very worth it.

Answer 4

First thing that you need to do is to figure out why he is scared to sleep in his room.
Is he scared to be in there all of the time, or is it just at bed time?
When he gets stressed out and comes out to the couch, does he get cuddled? Does he get extra one-on-one time with mom or dad? Are mom/dad/siblings up later than he is?
If the answers to any of these questions is yes, then your son is getting positive reinforcement for coming out of his room. He is getting the extra time, love, and attention.
If there really is a problem with his room, try to deal with his fears.
There are a number of things that you can do.
1. Don't laugh or belittle the fears - to a four-year-old, these things can be very tramatic.
2. With my daughters, we had a "magic rock" that they painted and kept under the bed. The rock kept all of the scary things away
3. Spray a little of your perfume or your husband's calogne on a toy or pillow. Sometimes having the smell of his parent nearby will help him feel more at ease.
4. Celebrate his successes! Make sure that you make a big deal out of him when he does manage to be in his bed. If you move him to bed after he falls asleep, make a big deal out of him for waking up in his bed.
5. Routine. Have a predictable routine, bath... cuddle... story... sleep. This should help him to settle down and understand what is coming next.
6. Finally, consistency really is the key. It make take a couple of terrible nights, but if he realizes that no amount of fuss is going to make you cave in, he will eventually sleep in his own bed. Invest in some earplugs, be prepared for a few hours worth of screaming, and make a big fuss of him in the morning. DON'T CAVE IN... giving up one time is like taking back all of the steps forward that you make - you basically send the message that if he carries on long enough, he will get what he wants.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

go around his room with him and point out things that could seem scary at night. If he's the imaginative, active type of little boy; my husband said to tell him to make up an imaginary friend that could 'kill' anything that comes in the room, get him 'where the wild things are' by Maurice Sendak, my son had that book. make a 'no monster allowed' sign and have him hang it in his room,
how about give him a space gun type of toy so he can zap any 'bad men' that come in?
or for now keep a small t.v. on in his room, he'll fall asleep. or a radio, or small night light, my son knew Jesus was always with him, we'd read a kid's bible at night.

Answer 6

Make him some "monster spray" to do this you take an old spray bottle and fill part way with water add a healthy dash of Febreeze. Then he can spray his closet and under the bed cause "monsters cant live where it smells good". This worked great for my nephew hope it works for you.

Answer 7

Is it that he's afraid of "monsters"? Our son was this way, and my wife got a standard spray bottle with water. We had our son make a label for it, something like "Monster Killing Spray" and whenever he got scared, he would harmlessly spritz a little water into the air. We kept the bottle next to his bed.

Answer 8

my daughter is three and she is just starting to sleep in her room. she is not scared of monsters she just doesnt want to sleep in her room by herself. so i lay in the bed with her and read her two short stories every night then tell her its time to go night night. after she falls asleep, i leave her room. if she wakes up in the middle of the night crying which she does some time then i run in there and lay back down with her. im hoping she will get the hang of it soon. i have to admit though, i have fallen asleep with her many times by accident.

Answer 9

Well maybe after he falls asleep on the couch you could put him up into his room! or you could tell him a story before he goes to bed! or even stay with him tell he falls asleep!

Answer 10

Tell him a booggie man is in his closet!LOL