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Question

I have a friend who always has the funniest jokes... i just want one to tell him... thats funny. I never know any... HELP.

Answer 1

These are funny!!

1. An American, a frenchman, and an englishman were walking through the amazon when they were captured by the natives. The natives told them that they were going to kill them and use their skins to make canoes. The 3 men would be given the choice on how they would die.

The Englishman said "Give me a gun." Upon getting the gun he said, "Love live the Queen!" and shot himself.

The Frenchman said,"Give me a sword." He said "Vive la France!" and impaled himself.

The American said "Give me a fork." Upon getting the fork, he began stabbing himself all over his body saying "screw your canoes!"


2. Ok this is a good one...

3 explorers get lost in the jungle and get kidnapped by a jungle tribe. The tribe's cheifs told the explorers to collects 9 of a fruit and perform a task, then he won't kill them.

The first explorer came with 9 oranges.

The cheif says "Shove em up your butt without showing any emotion, then i will let you go."

The terified explorer started shoving. On the second orange he winced. He was immediately killed by the cheif.

The second explorer came after the other explorer's death. he had grapes. The chef told him the task and the exporer began.

On the 9th grape the explorer started laughing and was killed.

The 2 explorers meet in heaven.

The first one asks" why'd you laugh, you almost had it?

The 2nd explorers says " I saw the 3rd guy coming with pineapples!"


3.A Cuban, A Mexican, & an American were all sitting in a boat, fishing, having a great time. The cuban reaches into his pocket and pulls out a (cuban) cigar, and the mexican and american pull out a cigarette. They all light up, and after a few puffs the Cuban throws the cigar out into the ocean. The American baffled and confused asked "Why did you throw that over board, arent Cubans ridiculously expensive?" the cuban leans back and replies "In my country, cubans are plentiful." at which point the mexican looks at his cigarette and throws it over board and says "in my country cigarettes are plentiful." Of coarse now the American sits back, looks down at his cigarette and throws the mexican overboard......

Answer 2

1. A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. it’s freaking hot down here!!!!!



2. A little girl walks into the lounge on Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper."Where does poo come from?" she asks. The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:
"Well you know we just ate breakfast?" "Yes," answers the girl."Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the goodstuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."
The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned silence
for a few seconds and asks:

"And Tigger?"



3. Three old men were sitting on a park bench comparing notes on the problems of growing old. The first said he couldn't remember the last time he had a good bowel movement. The second one said his problem was more with his bladder and prostate. The third old man laughed and said he must be the lucky one.

"Every morning at seven I pee, and then at eight I have a good dump," he told them. " I just wish I could wake up before nine."

Answer 3

What is bunny's favorite game to play at parties?

Musical Hares.

Answer 4

yes, read all those jokes here at JOKES AND RIDDLES, and u will get some... ok.