Convince me to give them to you. Tell me anything, a joke, compliment, or whatever.
2007-02-13 10:23:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I've discovered today that baby wipes aren't just for babys.
2007-02-13 10:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by abcdgoodall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a gorgeous avatar!
Why don't they give blondes coffee breaks?
It's such a pain to retrain them afterward.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
If a blonde and a brunette fell from a building at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
How do a blonde's brain cells die?
Alone.
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
Rebel without a clue
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
Why did the blonde get 17 other people together to see a movie?
Because "under 18" was prohibited.
Why do blondes poof their hair so high?
To catch everything that goes over theirs heads.
Did you hear about the blonde who lost 85% of her brains?
Her husband died.
What does a blonde say in the morning
"Who ARE you guys?"
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
13. One to make the batter, and twelve to peel the M&M's.
What do you call a dozen blondes in the freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do blondes drive BMW's?
Because they can spell it.
What do a group of blondes have in common?
Nothing they can think of.
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
Hide her hairbrush.
Why do you take a blonde shopping with you?
So you can park in the handicapped spaces.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligence.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?
She fell out of a Tree
What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill."
What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
A wind tunnel.
What do you call a circle of blondes?
A dope ring
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine."
Why did the blonde have a hard time making Kool-Aid?
She couldn't get all the water in the little packet
Why couldn't the blonde make ice-cubes?
She didn't have the recipe.
What is a blonde's mating call?
"I'm sooooo drunk!"
What is the brunette's mating call?
"Have the blondes left yet?"
What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
An air pocket.
She was so blond that
it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
she studied for a blood test - and failed.
she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
she sold the car for gas money.
when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around he home, she moved.
she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
2007-02-13 18:35:34 · answer #2 · answered by halima b 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
These are funny!!
1. An American, a frenchman, and an englishman were walking through the amazon when they were captured by the natives. The natives told them that they were going to kill them and use their skins to make canoes. The 3 men would be given the choice on how they would die.
The Englishman said "Give me a gun." Upon getting the gun he said, "Love live the Queen!" and shot himself.
The Frenchman said,"Give me a sword." He said "Vive la France!" and impaled himself.
The American said "Give me a fork." Upon getting the fork, he began stabbing himself all over his body saying "screw your canoes!"
2. Ok this is a good one...
3 explorers get lost in the jungle and get kidnapped by a jungle tribe. The tribe's cheifs told the explorers to collects 9 of a fruit and perform a task, then he won't kill them.
The first explorer came with 9 oranges.
The cheif says "Shove em up your butt without showing any emotion, then i will let you go."
The terified explorer started shoving. On the second orange he winced. He was immediately killed by the cheif.
The second explorer came after the other explorer's death. he had grapes. The chef told him the task and the exporer began.
On the 9th grape the explorer started laughing and was killed.
The 2 explorers meet in heaven.
The first one asks" why'd you laugh, you almost had it?
The 2nd explorers says " I saw the 3rd guy coming with pineapples!"
3.A Cuban, A Mexican, & an American were all sitting in a boat, fishing, having a great time. The cuban reaches into his pocket and pulls out a (cuban) cigar, and the mexican and american pull out a cigarette. They all light up, and after a few puffs the Cuban throws the cigar out into the ocean. The American baffled and confused asked "Why did you throw that over board, arent Cubans ridiculously expensive?" the cuban leans back and replies "In my country, cubans are plentiful." at which point the mexican looks at his cigarette and throws it over board and says "in my country cigarettes are plentiful." Of coarse now the American sits back, looks down at his cigarette and throws the mexican overboard......
2007-02-13 18:43:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've got so many questions but not enough points to ask 'em I just signed up last week and I'm only a few points away from level two, this is an opportunity I wont forget, thx.
2007-02-20 00:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by burd p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you look awesome;
READY, AIM.....
A blonde, redhead, and brunette aree going to be executed, and the guards ask the brunette, "any last words?" she says no. The executioner then yells "Ready, Aim .... " The brunette shouts "earthquake!" everyone panics. She gets away. Next up is the redhead. again the guards ask, "Any last words?" she to says no. So the executioner then shouts "Ready, Aim .... " Then they all hear "Tornado!" They go into panic yet again. The redhead gets away. The blonde gets the trick, shout out a natural disaster, everyone panics. The Guards ask " Any last words?" She says no. "Ready, Aim .... " Then the blonde yells, "FIRE!!"
Oh by the way, Whatever, and Anything.
2007-02-19 16:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by mskirbyrobot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a 70 year old woman decides that it is time to find a husband so she puts an ad in the local newspaper in the ad she says i want a man that
-is around my age
-will not run around on me
-will not beat me
-is still good in bed
a few days later she hears her doorbell ring. on her doorstep she finds an old man in a wheel chair with no arms or legs
she says "you cant really expect me to consider you"
he says "why not"
"you have no arms"
" so i cant beat you"
"you have no legs"
"so i cant run around on you"
"hmm well are you good in bed?"
"I rang the doorbell didnt i"
an old jewish couple visits Jerusalem while there the wife dies the husband is told by a funeral director that he can bury his wife there in Jerusalem for $500 or send her body back to the states for $2000 the husband says he needs time to think about it
the next day he returns and says that he will send his wife's body back to the states the puzzled funeral director asks why would you want to send her body back when it would not only be an honer to be buried here but it would also be cheaper the husband replied
"many years ago a man died and was buried here that man came back to life i dont want to risk it"
a young man was having dinner with his girlfriend familey for the first time he stops at a pharmacy and asks for a box of condoms he says to the pharmasist "i'm having dinner with my girlfriends familey and i think she's going to put out tonight"
the pharmasist smiles then the man says "you know what give me another one her sisters kinda cute"
he gets another one then he says " i think i'll have another he mom has a pretty hot body"
so with three boxes of condoms the man goes to dinner
at the table there is his girlfriend, her sister, her mother, and her father
the mother asks him if he would like to pray for the meal
so the young man begins to pray and pray and pray and pray
after a few minutes his girlfriend taps him on the shoulder and says "i didnt know you were so religious"
He looks at her and say " i didnt realize your father was a pharmacist"
2007-02-21 11:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, no one else wants the points, I do! Yes I am begging. Beautiful Avatar! Fantastic Question! Beautifully spelled and put together. Have you ever thought of writing a book? If I ever write a book I will dedicate it to you! I bet you are hot, I can tell by the way you proposed that question. You're hot and intelligent wow! Will you be my Valentine?
Warning: Alcohol consumption has been known to cause unexplained rug burns on forehead!
Those jokes are lame and I have heard them before. I bet you have also since you are so smart! Pick me!
2007-02-13 18:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by misty 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Here are 2 jokes-
What game do bunny's like to play at their parties?
Musical Hares!
What instrument rings?
A saxaphone!
Here is a compliment-
I love the avatar!
P.S I don't care about the points. I like to share.
2007-02-13 18:48:04 · answer #8 · answered by Diana 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, a lot of bad jokes. Seriously, I have read a lot of the blond jokes on Yahoo Answers already.
Thanks for the two points! All I really expect.
2007-02-13 20:47:09 · answer #9 · answered by Musiclad 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i want 10 points!!! =]
here is a joke
Three women die together in an accident and go
to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only
have one rule here in
heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are
ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally
steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she
>ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your
punishment for stepping on
a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly
man!"
The next day, the second woman steps
accidentally on a duck and along
comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With
him is another extremely
ugly man. He chains them together with the same
admonishment as for the
first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not
wanting to be chained for
all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY
careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any
ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man
she has ever laid eyes on
... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and
thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a
word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to
deserve being chained to you
for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I
stepped on a duck!"
ok now i think i should get 10 points =]!!!!
2007-02-13 18:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by melanie 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Awsome Idea generouse dude, I really need the points hottie!
2007-02-21 17:02:27 · answer #11 · answered by all about me!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋