Me and my boyfriend been dating 6 months, he cheated on me the first month we started dating, he confronted ,i love him to death, and i really want to trust him , how can I trust him? What can he do for me to trust him? we wanna get married next year, but trust is in marriage, i want to trust him, plz help...please thanks alot
2007-02-13 10:05:40 · 23 answers · asked by April w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The two of you have only been together for 6 months and he cheated within the first month and you are talking about marrying this person? You may want to give it some more time. If you are still having trust issues, you don't want to jump into marriage, that will not fix the problem. If the two of you are serious about getting married, you should consider some pre-marital counseling. I know alot of people that have benefited greatly from this!
2007-02-13 10:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Meadow Soprano 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way for him to regain your trust is time and commitment. You can't just magically say the words "I trust you" and things will be fixed, because you know full well that when temptation strikes, you can't count on him to do the right thing. There is nothing he can do except show his love and commitment over the coming weeks and months and years. Words are not enough. If you marry him next year, there is a good chance you will do it with some lingering doubt in the back of your mind. But make no mistake, the pressure is on him to stand tall and be a good man, not on you to forgive and trust blindly. Good luck.
2007-02-13 10:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you once I would be VERY careful with how you continue. First of all, I highly recomment waiting longer before you get married. If you have only been dating six months and he cheated on you already...I'd say wait longer and wait it out and see what he does. I'm sure you have heard the saying "once a cheater always a cheater". I am not saying it is true on all occassions, but I would tread carefully. I had a boyfriend cheat on me within the first year and we were going to get married in a year and a half but I decicded to wait a bit yet and about 2 1/2-3 years later he cheated on me again. I am not saying yours will, but just be careful. There is really nothing he can do to prove himself trustworthy. Its something that takes time and I would make sure you give it time and hope to god he doesn't break your trust again. If he does it again....then throw him out.
I, myself, will never stay with a guy that cheated on me. The chances of them doing it again and hurting you are higher than not. Its happened too much and my opinion is...if you wanna keep me be faithful to me. If you decide to test the waters elsewhere...stay the hell there cuz I dont need you anymore!
Goodluck hun!
2007-02-13 10:13:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what do you mean cheated? He kissed another girl or he had sex with another girl? If you ask me, if he cheated once he will again and even if he doesn't that will always be in the back of your mind. I have been married 3years and it does take a lot of trust, the fact is if you don't trust him now you most likely won't later on.
2007-02-13 10:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by Crazy Train 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
April first I would like to say hi Im MD and second girl within the first month that you two were dating he cheated on you!!!!!!!! thats gotta help you does your heart feel that you can trust him? not your feelings your heart. I have to be honest married after 6 months and you've caught him cheating once what he going to do when he has a ring on his finger just change? Maybe and thats a BIG maybeI hope that I could help MD
2007-02-13 10:16:55 · answer #5 · answered by MD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, don't marry him - you will be in for a life of misery if you do.
But consider this. You said he "cheated" in the first month. That's very early in a relationship. Was it established that you were a couple? If the line wasn't so clear at the time, he may not feel that he cheated on you, and he may be right. Your mistrust issue, then, would be one of your own insecurity.
Good luck.
2007-02-13 10:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by T Time 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trust he had is already broken, and it will take awhile to get it back. Getting married may not be the best idea right now. Give it some more time to see if he will do it again. Theres a quote: "Once a cheater always a cheater" who knows?
2007-02-13 10:09:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off why would you want to be with or trust some one that cheated on you. You trusted him with your heart and he betrayed that.I hate to say it but you won't ever trust him. Even if he passed every test and spent every waking minute with you , you are always going to question him and if he wants to really be with just you. I have been with a cheater and I know it will never work out! sorry and best of luck.
2007-02-13 10:11:30 · answer #8 · answered by Little Judy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way there can be trust is if your really willing to give it. If he apologizes and tells you he wont do it again then you have to let it go and trust him until he does do it again. If he decides to do it again after you have given him trust, then be strong and tell him how it is stand up for yourself and say goodbye. If he truly loves you and wants to marry you, then he will realize what he is loosing. Say something like: "if your gonna be with me, then your gonna be with ME or else it will not work."
2007-02-13 10:15:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT marry this man if you don't trust him. If you want to stay with him that's your decision but if you get married it will only end in heartache. Until you can learn to trust him again don't step forward.
There is no real way to guarantee that you will trust him again but you must start slow. He has to try hard and spend time proving to you that he will be loyal to you. Only time will tell.
2007-02-13 10:16:21 · answer #10 · answered by Niko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋