English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

My grandson has been very violent to his 6 wk old brother, he has delibertly killed a fish from his tank and has been mean to his cat. We understand what has caused the problem, but are not sure how to respond to his violent behavior.

2007-02-13 09:38:18 · 14 answers · asked by sherry r 1 in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

First and most important, ensure BOTH children are safe at all times!!
Secondly, the little guy's parents should have a quiet, serious conversation with him about how all life needs to be respected, whether it is fish, cat, or baby, and make it clear that cruelty and violence are unacceptable. CLEARLY TELL HIM what the consequence of any cruel or violent behaviour will be.
Finally, ensure that the 3-year-old grandson is being perceived as part of the "team" - part of the solution, not being identified and isolated as the problem. It's not HIM who's the problem - it's the sudden (from his perspective) change in family dynamics.
Find ways that he can be part of that change, ways that he can be involved in creating the "new" family picture.
I agree with other respondents that part of this is making sure that both the baby and the 3-year-old receive one-on-one time with parents, and perhaps also with you if you are a big part of his daily life. (This is also a good way to introduce the concept that parents need and deserve their own time, too. It helps to develop respect for all people as individuals.)
Good luck, do everything you do from a position of love, and from wanting your children and grandchildren to be the best people possible.

2007-02-13 10:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He's jealous of the baby and probably feels like he's being replaced. His parents need to make sure that they spend quality alone time with him and reassure him that they still love him just as much as they did before the baby came home.

It's completely normal behaviour. A lot of older siblings go through this when the new baby is brought home. The whole dynamics and feel of the family has changed and they don't know how to deal with it.

2007-02-13 10:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

With little ones like that they need extra attention as well, he is probably just very overwhelmed that he is not the only child anymore and he has to share mommy and daddy. Try to have mom or dad spend special one on one time with him, and possibly have him help by bringing the babys diaper, helping feed the baby, they should incorperate him in the every day activities of this new person in his life. If it continues to be severe or he tries to harm the baby then deffenalty go to the pediatrition for some more advice. good luck

2007-02-13 09:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Talk to him and let him know that the baby has not taken his place and is not more important. And then show him, try to make time to spend with him without the baby, and mother and father should do so also. Spend some extra time with him reading or playing games, etc, without the new baby. He is probably feeling very upset and left out, jealous by the arrival of the new baby. Being so young he is not sure of how to express his anger and this is his way of dealing with it. Give him extra attention one on one. Good luck and God bless****

2007-02-13 09:51:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

Since you have already found the cause of the problem, then I won't have to suggest one to you. Basically, depending on how old your grandchild is will affect his behavior to younger siblings. Sometimes, the best way to approach such a problem is to just talk to the child and ask him right there why he is hosting violent behavior. Basically, the only way to be able to really respond to your grandchilds behavior is to find out why and how he himself does it and how he feels about it. This is what I would recommend.

2007-02-13 09:45:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i'd initiate off via attempting to speak to him approximately his habit, sometimes young infants purely experience misunderstood or like there is not any outlet. while he talks to you, pay attention, and don't respond till he's finished. while he's accomplished say "sometimes this is complicated to be a baby, isn't it?" and advise it, essentially... Their problems won't appear like plenty to us, yet think of roughly once you have been his age, getting a foul grade or dropping a chum (even while it became in basic terms for a stupid combat that lasted an afternoon) became a important element. i understand he's going to counseling yet he has to experience like he can turn to you and which you're there for him, he would desire to question your love, no longer simply by fact of something you have finished yet simply by fact that is purely the way it performs out in his head. try to do issues purely with him, with out the older brother, get him attracted to a minimum of a few thing, an outlet for his anger. i'm no longer pretending to have each and each of the solutions, those are in basic terms some techniques, if no longer something gets with the aid of to him you may desire to evaluate a camp or ranch yet on condition that he knows you're doing it out of love. I congratulate you for procuring help for you son and attempting to maintain your cool, young infants can truly be attempting on the persistence. i wish all of it works out for the final!

2016-09-29 01:56:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Your grandson needs professional help as does the family in dealing with this sort of thing. His anger is out of control and he is too young to learn how to control it without the help of his parents and grandparents. This is not a case of "he will grow out of it", this is a case for professional help from a child psychologist or psychiatrist.

2007-02-13 09:43:46 · answer #7 · answered by Catie I 5 · 0 1

Child psychiatrist.

I know a lot of people are against that particular branch of medicine, but trust me it's better than raising a sociopath.

If you're really good with words and kids, you might talk to him yourself.

2007-02-13 09:41:09 · answer #8 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 0 0

Sometimes children act out in those kinds of ways because they are being abused themselves, and are only repeating what they think is right, since it happens to them.

2007-02-13 09:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

u have to show him that u still care about him and having a newborn around the house is not going to change how u guys feel about him.

2007-02-13 09:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by annawuvzchris 4 · 1 0

fedest.com, questions and answers