what to do, im alone... advice please?

Question

ive been with my girl 4 just over a year, i love her so much i would die without her! However she has always had a problem with infidelity, not sex just snogging/making out with other people in nightclubs when she goes out! last summer was the last time she did it. however on monday after an arguement, she confessed that it happened in January but it only lasted 20 seconds before she realise she was doing wrong and felt guilty! it does kill me but i cant let her go over a drunken mistake, the thing is these drunken mistakes reoccur so am i contradicting myself! i need an outside opinion, i try and think what i would tell my friend if he was in my shoes, but im still no answer, i'm torn between what to do! the options aren't just break up/make up, but what 2 do!!!!! remember i'm DEEEEEPLY in love, but i keep being disapointed when i'm ready 2 trust again!

Answer 1

You might be in love but it sure doesn't sound like she is!

Answer 2

I have been where you are, and it is a horrible place to be. The first few times I let it go, coz I wanted to be with him, but then I realised that if I did that nothing was going to change. So I told him, either it stops or we're finished, he went to a party, got drunk and did it again. I ended it. It wasn't what I wanted, and it broke my heart, but I realised that I'm worth more than that, and there is no point wasting love on someone who doesn't feel the same (coz if they did, they wouldn't keep hurting you). It took time, but I got my head round it, and now I've met someone else who treats me the way I deserve to be treated.

I'm not saying that is what you should do, and if you decide on that, I'm not saying it will be easy, but just think about it. You have a right to be happy, and to be treated with love and respect, and that's not what you're getting at the moment, and if you don't sort it out now, this is what your relationship will always be like.....and is that what you want?

Hope this helps. Good luck with deciding what to do. I know you'll make the decision that is right for you.

Ruth x

Answer 3

She's doing you no good. That's shocking the way she's treating you. You deserve so much better - hey I obviously don't know you, but you've taken the time to ask for other people's opinions on this and you obviously care, so you sound a pretty nice guy to me. She's mistreating you and isn't worthy of you. Some people do things that you just can't figure out a reason for. Try talking to her and warning her that this is her last chance to stop doing this. Also, she's confessed these things to you - what has she done that she hasn't confessed? This girl is heartless, I'm sorry. Get rid and find someone who is better. Good luck x

Answer 4

From a girls point of view, i have done what your girlfriend has done, the reasons were, i was scared of commitment, or i was just with that person because all my friends were in relationships. I was punishing him for not making me feel wanted enough. Not knowing you or her personally its hard to say, but I've bin in enough crap relationships to no when to give up. The more someone pushes you away, the more you think you want them. I always say, set them free, if they come back you know its what they really want. Don't be scared to back off. It will save you more heart ache in the long run. You never no, the right person for you might be waiting for you to be single again. You get one chance at being happy, why spend your time wondering what shes doing and not trusting.

Answer 5

Give her an ultimatum. Tell her if it happens again, you'll leave her. You must stick to this though, because it's the only way she is going to learn.

If you keep forgiving her, she'll take that forgiveness for granted. If she cared about you, she wouldn't want to hurt you, would she? If she was scared of losing you, she wouldn't risk losing you by snogging someone else, would she?

As painful as this is, don't be a doormat. By constantly forgiving her, you are giving her permission to do this. Ultimately, you are torturing yourself. It's ultimatum time. You'd be surprised how much better you'll feel if you do this and then follow up your word.

Answer 6

When she does it does she just say i was a mistake and she wants to be forgiven and everything? If so she could just be saying that so you stay with her. You should tell her that if she continues then you don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore. Then she'll know your serious. If she still does it then she doesn't really care about your feeling and about having a serious relationship with you, and you don't deserve to have a girlfriend that doesn't care about how you feel. If you tell her that and she still does it, dump her. It would be the best thing to do. Remember that there is other girls out there who will actually care deeply about you and only you.

Answer 7

if lifestyles is getting you down. attempt to do something a touch different. change some little issues so that's no longer an identical. attempt to do something which will make you smile.. or make you imagine of something else.. pass to a zoo, pass to a museum, pass to a library. pass stroll in the park. in case you imagine of something that makes you unhappy .. smile and imagine of somethign else.. something that makes you smile... attempt to go back to a decision on to be at liberty. dont stay on the unhappy stuff. in case you pass to the library get some books on relationships., then you may research stuff that could want to help you be triumphant in a destiny relationship.. and recognize how your very last one went undesirable... this way you may learn out of your mistake and with any success have a more desirable sensible danger in the subsequent relationship. day after today is yet another day.. time will pass and the injuries will heal. attempt to fulfill some acquaintances.. encompass your self with acquaintances.. dont seek for romance. enable love discover you in a unmarried of those acquaintances you encompass your self with.. mabye sometime one of those acquaintances will instruct to be something more desirable than a buddy. carry in there, and performance a grin on me :) sturdy success

Answer 8

the obvious answer is to say walk away. You are not ready to hear this which means that you won't do it. When you have had enough you will walk. So just enjoy being with her knowing that she will be carrying on and don't let it affect you because you are willing for the relationship to continue on this field but don't expect her to change she wont just know that when you are ready and sick of the lies and the carrying on you'll just walk away

Answer 9

i really feel for you on this one, been in the same situation, i eventually dumped the person but it took me 11 years, and left my self confidence in tatters.
At the end of the day you will not leave her if you love her, the fact that shes telling you counts for something, Try and trust her as much as poss, even though many will say she does not deserve it, if you question her all the time it may drive her to do just what you want her to aviod, but please please do not let her walk all over you.. everyone deserves better than that
good luck chick

Answer 10

if u are deeply in love with her, u may want to find out why she keeps on doing this. is it becos she wants attention or is it something else? see if u can talk it out and she is willing to change. if not, take the advice of the others: walk away. it may be painful now but sooner rather than later is best.

Answer 11

u know what they say ,love is blind, when u r in love u never really see whats going on around u . u need to ask yoyourself is this what u really want i think not life is funny that way close one door another will open let her go she will just hurt u now and for ever give urself a life say bye bye to her .