I have a show to do tonight in Benidorm and could be doing with a few funny jokes. I'm a singer not a comedian but it would help to break the ice....
2007-02-13 08:29:42 · 10 answers · asked by Martin B 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Two Jews walk into a bar. A week later, they own it!
A preist, a rabbi, and Michael Jackon's nose walk into a bar, the bartender says "What is this, a joke?"
2007-02-13 09:35:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
what did the wave say to the shore? nothing it just WAVED!!
why was cinderlla bad at baseball? she had a PUMPKIN as a COACH!
whay was cinderlla bad a t basketballl? she kept RUNNING AWAY from the BALL!
these are preetyy good but takes a bit of time to get them. but these will sevre a great laugh!
2007-02-13 17:36:15 · answer #2 · answered by natsume_01_i 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is really annoying you say to them"you need a vocation and some village is short of an idiot"
Everyone is always telling my mum to act her age. I daren`t cause if she does she`ll die.
got loads more
2007-02-13 16:41:23 · answer #3 · answered by simonsd25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A horse walks into a bar...the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What's the difference between Jews and Catholics? The jews cut it off and the catholics suck it off. HA HA! (Hope I didn't offend anyone)
2007-02-13 16:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by corylingard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did a white grape said to a purple grape? Breathe!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Whats the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take your shoes off in the trampoline!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Your mom's so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and missed!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I just kidnapped myself, give me a hundred dollars or you'll never see me again.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
2007-02-13 16:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by ╔═♠═╗ ♣777♣ ╚═♠═╝ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at the start say
'did you hear the one about the 10 ton polar bear?'
wait for silence
'well it broke the ice!'
2007-02-13 16:57:45 · answer #6 · answered by eddybear 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boy 1 - " What did you do with the money your mother gave you?"
Boy 2 - "What money?"
Boy 1 - "the money for your facelift?"
2007-02-13 16:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I saw a man today with wooden legs.....and real feet!
2007-02-13 18:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a peanut walks into a rough bar....it was a salted! (assaulted, get it!)
did you hear about the magic tractor? ....it turned into a feild!
2007-02-13 16:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I lost my phone number, can i have yours?
2007-02-13 16:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by spacely 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋