I can't believe some poeple have told me this but...?

Question

some people tell me that it's terrible I only want 1 child! I have a four year old son, and I really only wanted one (a boy, so I got my wish) but seriously is it THAT bad to only have one? I don't plan on spoiling him to death which people often assume. What's the big deal?

Answer 1

How many children to have is such a personal choice - there is no right or wrong answer. How very stupid of anyone to criticize your choice to have only one child, especially without knowing your reasoning. I'm sorry you have to deal with such ignorant and hurtful comments.

Answer 2

Oh, I gotta tell this story....

For a while before my daughter was born and my son was young, I was working for a company that did rehab on welfare houses. These were houses owned by the city that needed repair, and usually the families were there while we worked.

Well the first house I worked on, the kids were home for break or something and they would hang around us and talk. They ranged in age from 2 to 16 and I suspected the two year old belonged to the 16 year old. I think there were about 11 of them total in that house. Anyhow, they got around to asking me how many kids I had, and I said I had one son...... OOOOHHHHH the clamour that brought!!! They actually were bringing their friends over to their house to see this poor idiot that only had one kid. After all I was around 35 at the time and really should have been a great grandfather in their eyes. Why didn't I have more kids, was I in some freakish accident?

I had to laugh when I would leave..... and sometimes I would cry.

Is it that bad NOT to have 11 kids?
Is it that bad TO have 11 kids?

Stick with your one child, don't worry about the population for every person like you who is willing to have one child there are 10 welfare moms popping them out every 10 months.

Answer 3

It's definitely NOT a bad thing. You have your dream family and that is great!

I think people mostly think of the Only Child Syndrome...not only stereotypically being spoiled by the family but...have you ever noticed that only children are a bit...different? Not socially the same as those with siblings. They tend to have a harder time emotionally and socially as adults as their entire life they've only been used to it being them and all the attention being only on them. I know it probably doesn't make sense because I'm most likely not explaining it well but after observing many friends that are only children then comparing them to those with siblings, there is definitely a difference!

Answer 4

I totally agree, it is completely ignorant of people to criticize your choice to only have one. There are many only children in the world that get along fine, and even excel. How about Robin Williams, Albert Einstein, Natalie Portman, Rudy Giuliani, Tipper Gore, Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Franklin D Roosevelt, and on and on and on? Beign an only child didn't hold any of these people back. What about people who can only have one child for one reason or another? Should they not have any, if they can't have more than one? That's ridiculous! Your son will be just fine as long as he's given the love he needs the opportunity to grow into what he chooses.

Answer 5

I don't see a problem with a person having only one child. Before I met my husband I didn't want any children. I was one of those people that couldn't stand kids..lol..and now I'm pregnant with my second. You're the one that is going to be raising this child. People will throw their opinions around like crazy telling you that its a bad deal or whatnot, but if you have all those kids they think you should, they wont be there to help you. The only ones that really matter when it comes to decided if there will be more kids are you and your husband/boyfriend/sig. other.

Answer 6

One is great from my experience. I have an only child who has never missed having a sibling and neither was she spoiled by her parents. She got all of our attention but she was guided and instructed by our love. She is well adjusted and had many friends and cousins to play with growing up which is an important factor.

Parenting is not an easy thing and takes hard work. It means open communication, taking a real interest in everything they do, exposing them to exciting and new things. It means acting silly, role playing, sharing disappointments and dreaming like there's no tomorrow! Fortunately my husband and my hard work paid off. Our loving, considerate, kind, smart, 20 yr old, Yale student is terrific in every way. I always said to those encouraging us to have another.... why mess with perfection :-) I'm very blessed.

Answer 7

I think how many children you want is your preference. Now a days it's perfectly acceptable to have just one child. With our busy lifestyles and work and pay, that's really all most people can AFFORD, without government help. But that gives you a chance to better know and care for your son.

It was one thing 100-50 years ago when you had to have a lot of kids to ensure one of them will survive, but there's a pretty good chance they're going to make it now. And the whole thing about people saying they won't have the social skills or won't feel complete without siblings is a load of crap. It all depends on how they're raised.

Answer 8

I do not think it is bad, but make sure that your child has a lot of playmates, and be willing to take them with you when you go places. I was an only child for 18 years, I have a sister now but we don't get to bond like we would have. I was an adult with a baby on the way when she was born. As an only child I was bored a lot, because I did not have anyone to play with. My mother and grandparents gave me a lot attention, but they did not want to play make believe and go climb trees. I had to do these things by myself a lot, and was often very lonely. I went to carnivals and circus, but I never had siblings to enjoy it with and often resented kids who had siblings. I had friends but they could not always be with me. I was pretty spoiled as far as material possessions, but I would have traded them all for a sibling. I married a man who has 5 siblings, and they are all very close. I still find myself yearning for a relationship like that sometimes. I have 4 kids myself(2 boys, 2 girls), and they are each others constant play mate. They may fight, but they will defend one another at the drop of a hat. I love the fact that they will have each other when my husband and myself are gone from this world. I am not telling you that wanting only one makes you a bad parent, but your child will miss out on so much by not having a sibling.

Answer 9

Some people just need to mind their own business. I only have one child, and while sometimes I think I've robbed my daughter of the closeness and fun of siblings, I feel that we are in a comfortable place. My daughter is in lots of activities, we go to shows, ballet, movies, parks, etc. We don't spoil her, but we are able to let her do more of he activities than we'd be able to if we had more kids to put in activities. If you really only want one child, that is fine, it's your business, your life, your family. People can be mean and nosy. Next time someone tells you how bad it is that you only have one child tell them how bad it is that they are contributing to the overpopulation of the world by having several children. That should shut them up. (By the way, I don't really feel that way about having several children either, anyone should be able to have as many children as they want, be it 1 or 21, as long as they can take care of them and provide them a proper home.)

Answer 10

I feel your pain. We stopped at one for numerous reasons which is really no one elses concern as I am sure you are aware. I too got my wish for the perfect little boy and there is NOTHING wrong with having only one child.

Even though we both have had our tubes tied (vasectomy for him) we still have mostly his parents trying to get us to have another child.
I cannot get it through their head that it isn't going to happen. I see their desire though as my hubby's brother is gay & his sister has chosen a different lifestyle which isn't condusive to kids. So they just want to be grandparents but this isn't my problem!!! I will not bring another child into this world because someone else wants me too. It is the decision of myself and my husband.

It doesn't matter where we go we ALWAYS get "so when are you going to have another one?" It isn't anyones business. We are VERY happy being a 3 member family. Yes he may be a little spoiled but I would much rather be able to provide too much for my child than not enough.

So for all those people out there who we may see at the mall, grocery store or at the next family function...WE WILL NOT BE HAVING ANY ADDITIONS TO OUR FAMILY AND WE LIKE IT THAT WAY!! (Although we may get a dog someday)

Answer 11

come on i have one daughter and i also plan not to have another kid but thats okay, its none of anybody else's business to tell me how many kids i should have and yes if its a question of my daughter having a company i would rather adopt a girl than having another one of my own not because i don't want to go through the pain but because my hubby and i would like to be a parent to some unfortunate baby who has lost both his parents, i would want to make one person's life better than thinking of how my daughter would be if she's the only child and how we'll spoil her, it all depends on the parents how you raise your kid, we're a well to do family i stay at home and look after my daughter give her full attention and time she needs i play with her like a kid and yes we have a special bonding lot of people have asked me too to have another baby but i just ignore the question, trust me i would any day adopt a baby and give that kid the same love and education that i dream of giving to my daughter i would make that childs future bright and then there are so many kids who doesn't have parents. well that only my point of view and then there are people who call me crazy , funny and stupid for my ideas but thats how i am, if ever i needed another baby i would adopt a baby girl and i know my daughter will love her the same way like i would.