My best friends is pregnant and I feel very spiteful towards her. My husband & I tried to get pregnant for a couple of mos., but for medical reasons were not able to. Suddenly at the same time we were trying my friend becomes pregnant (supposedly unplanned on her part but I have my suspicions). I am not upset that she is pregnant & I'm not as I already have 1. But I am upset with her constantly bringing up her pregnancy like it is the best thing that has ever happened in this world. She has no money, but has made comments prior to pregnancy that she has friends & family that "wouldn't let the baby starve or anything". She also first started with "she didn't care if she got hand-me-downs" & now she is looking at $400 cribs & $200 crib beddings & strollers & stuff when there's perfectly good items that cost 1/2 that. What bothers me most is she does nothing (no job), but her friends will go out & buy this stuff because she always comes out "smelling like a rose".
2007-02-13 08:22:38 · 24 answers · asked by Mytwosons 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
As much as she is showing off about that baby now, she won't be too happy about it later on.
There is nothing wrong in being proud that you are pregnant. I know I would be when the time is right. But if she's being completely dependent on her friends and family and acting like she's got all the money in the world, she will think differently soon. Her friends will abandon her someday if she keeps going to them for money and pretending like she's got plenty of her own.
I would have my doubts if I had a friend that acted like this. But I wouldn't act malicious towards her. There are two lives she is responsible for now. She needs your emotional support. Maybe the problem is that you are jealous, and you didn't get all that attention while you were pregnant. Think about it.
There is no need whatsoever to be jealous. She is the one who will have problems later on in life, while you have a husband and a child of your own. You are the one with benefits, which I am sure she will run out of once that baby is born.
2007-02-13 08:29:00 · answer #1 · answered by Pakhi Pardesi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand your jealousy if it is stemming from the fact that you are unable to have another child right now. It is very hard to be around people who are pregnant, especially if they didn't want a child, and be happy for them, because everything feels as if it is being rubbed in your face. However, if you truly are her friend, you need to support her and keep your jealousy to a minimum. What difference does it make to you if she is looking at expensive cribs? Don't pay for anything and then it doesn't affect you in the least. If you are upset about friends buying things for her, then just let it go. Obviously people want to buy things for her or they wouldn't do it. As far as her not having a job, she will quickly come to realize once she has this baby that pregnancy was the easy part...raising a child is difficult and very expensive. She will no longer be able to sit around on her duff and let everyone else support her. If her actions bother you that bad, I think it is best if you were not her friend anymore.
2007-02-13 08:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe having a baby is the best thing that HAS happened to her. You should share her excitement, I bet she was happy for you when you had your first.
Even if it was planned, so what, she doesn't have to hold off having a baby because you haven't been successful this time around.
You say she's looking at $400 cribs, well is she buying? or just excited about being pregnant? I'm pregnant and I've been looking at all kinds of stuff that I'm not actually going to buy.
I know it's hard when someone can get the best of everything without trying but it sounds to me that you're jealous because you think she doesn't deserve it.
Everyone has the right to enjoy their pregnancy, and it sounds like she's doing that.
2007-02-13 10:24:29 · answer #3 · answered by loubylou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not awful. Jealousy over a friend's pregnancy is a hard, hard thing to shake off if you can't get pregnant yourself. And it sounds like she is making some poor decisions. But it may be, from her point of view, the best thing that has ever happened in the world--her world, not yours. Let her have her joy. Let her have her expensive furniture if it comes her way. Distance yourself from her if necessary, live your own life, take steps to bring a child into your life (adoption, foster care, fertility treatments) if you feel that is the right thing for you. If she is really your best friend, things will iron out. But it may take time. For now, let yourself have your feelings.
2007-02-13 08:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The gift of life is precious, and I think you are overreacting. Your jealousy is clouding your judgement. Of COURSE she is going to be happy; she's about to have a baby! It's the single most important thing a woman can do. It's her right. They were lucky in the sense that they don't have any medical complications. It is unfortunate that you and your husband do. But to be jealous of their success...what does that make you? WHY would your supposed best friend go out of HER way to get pregnant, just to spite you? Surely that is not the case. Instead of being jealous, be SUPPORTIVE. And there are resources available to you and your husband. Have you considered counseling? Adoption? Other medical procedures that could help?
2007-02-13 08:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by peersignal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you feel that much spite and anger towards her yet, you consider her a friend? maybe this IS the best thing that happened to her... did you never talk about being pregnant when you were? if you dont like the way she is THEN TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE EQUATION! thats just evil to be that hateful towards someone you say is your friend.
and you honestly think your friend got pregnant just because you and your husband were trying?? c'mon now, that doesnt even make any sense... why would someone go get pregnant, just to be mean to you? thats an at LEAST 18 year commitment on theyre part.. just to make you upset/mad/jealous? nah- that doesnt sound right, does it.
2007-02-13 08:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by asailorsstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like you will look for anything to be angry at her for. Because of your mamaof1 name, i am confused as to whether you are a mother now or not? I can understand and forgive people who are infertile or ttc being jealous of me who is fertile myrtle i seem to just get pregnant if I say it three times! But someone who has a baby to feel such resentment at their "friend" is not healthy. She might not have the best situation to bring a child into this world, but that isnt for anyone else to decide. If you get to decide who is fit or well off enough to procreate you might spend too much time going over peoples lives instead of listening to your body and what it needs to carry a child. If you can't be happy for her, focus on yourself and maybe without all the added stress you might concieve as well and then think about how fun it will be to be preggers with your friend. Suddenly you might finding yourself "just glancing" at pricey baby stuff, i mean, nothing is too good for your baby right? You might want to stay home with your child and not work, you may find yourself going on and on about how wonderful and excited you are. You might even rub it in to non moms to feel superior. People like you are fun to rub it in on.
2007-02-13 08:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal that you feel upset. Just be glad you don't have to pay for the friend. She's talking like this because I'm sure she's scared to some degree. A relative is like that too, pregnant with no job, husband is around, but no insurance to pay for the pregnancy, so the state has to pay, and she just doesn't seem to care, she knows it'll all be taken care of. It gets me too, but I'm glad she's not my concern and I just am happy for her when I talk with her, but I'm glad it's not my life.
2007-02-13 08:29:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To her, her pregnancy IS the best thing in the world. You sound as if you would rather she did have to struggle. Your attitude is awful. If have such a hateful, envious attitude toward her why are you her friend? Thankfully she has other friends and family who will be supportive of her.
2007-02-13 08:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gear down turbo........................................
You probably sounded the same way when you first got pregnant. Your upset that she is pregnant, get over yourself. You even said you've been trying for month's. If you said that you annouced your intention's last week and she claiming she pregnant. Well, that's a different story. In this case you've been trying for months and now she happens to be pregnant. Sounds like your jealouse because she is getting the attention.
2007-02-13 08:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by GoodWillHunt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋