I was talking to a friend, telling her about a guy I recently stopped dating. It was mutual, because we both decided that we didn't communicate well. He would act as though he didn't understand what I would say, and he seemed to be defensive, as though he had to prove something. Anyway, I told my friend that I've found that I tend to communicate better with men who are educated....not necessarily Master's or Ph.D level, but who have some amount of higher education. I think she took what I said the wrong way, and I feel like she inplied that I came off like a snob. I know that I'm not. I was just being honest about the kinds of guys I like...intelligent conversation is important to me. I'm open to all kinds of guys because I know that not having a college degree doesn't mean that a person is unintelligent, nor does having one mean that a person is knowledgeable about everything.
2007-02-13 08:14:48 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you are perfectly entitled to know the kind of men you get a long with, maybe it was the 'educated' thing she took the wrong way, what you meant was on your intellectual level, which could be someone who is bright but hasn't got degree and it could mean a rocket scientist. I think education broadens peoples perspectives but I think most women prefer men who are emotionally intelligent. This guy you broke it off with was defensive, and 'acting' like he didn't understand you, that'd put me off however educated he is.
2007-02-13 08:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with you, there is nothing wrong with wanting a guy who can carry on a conversation. You are not a snob, you just know what you want and what you don't need. I know what you are saying, and sometimes you get bored as well, you cant just talk about the weather, there has to be some intelligence in him. To talk about politics, history, art or even life. There are guys who prefer not to get deep, and I personally don't like that either. Your right a persons intelligence is not judged by their degrees, its all about character.. I give your props, for being firm and stable in your choices. Don't feel bad.
2007-02-13 16:22:40 · answer #2 · answered by beygrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not, to each his or her own. Being able to communicate effectively is important. i have dated guys that were really below my reading level, if you know what i mean. it was entertaining for a while but there would be long pauses in the conversation. I think it's about intelligence more than smarts, if you know what i mean. So to answer your question, it is more elitist than shallow, not necessarily a bad thing.
2007-02-13 16:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by le coq géant 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone shame you because you have set standards for yourself. You know what is best for you. I wouldn't want someone without an education either, as it is something I value very highly--I earned a Master's degree and work for a University, so I can't see myself being compatible with someone who doesn't place any value on the thing which has been central to my adult life.
2007-02-13 16:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is not at all snobbish. All relationships are based on communication and if you cannot communicate well with that person whether it has to do with intelligence level or anything else a relationship just wont work.
2007-02-13 16:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by bry leigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be sure when you express your need for intellectual stimulating conversation you don't put those around you down.
I have a degree and I have met many people who did not attend college to be very intellectual. Going to college helps stimulate and expand the mind however, it does not mean you are automatically intellectual if you go to college.
Give people a chance do not assume they are less intellectual because they did not attend college.
2007-02-13 16:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by Truely 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When everything else fades, your intellectual compatibility is left. You should want to date someone who is an equal. If you can't talk to them, then what's the point? you don't have to be clones of each other, but similar educational backgrounds (not always formal education) is a must.
2007-02-13 16:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is more important in a relationship than good communication. It is not absolutely necessary to have similar educational backgrounds to achieve that, but sometimes it helps.
2007-02-13 16:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by MOM KNOWS EVERYTHING 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should date whome ever makes you happy. I don't blame you for wanting someone you can communicate with on your own level. I can't stand having to explain what I mean or to talk on another level for people to understand me. You find a man who'll love you for your conversation skills don't lower your standards.
2007-02-13 16:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by Cyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! Who in the hell wants to spend a night in deep seated passion physically only to wake up next to a moron who can't even say hi properly, because their tongue is dangling out of their mouths and they think Forrest Gump is Stephen Hawkings!
Never lower your standards or you will be dragged down too!
2007-02-13 16:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by raiderking69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋