Should I give my twins up for adoption?

Question

I'm sixteen (turning seventeen this April) and I'm pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl) due June 1, 2007 - that means I'm 24 weeks along, which is 6 months. The father is no longer a part of my life. Abortion was never an option for me - I just couldn't do that. I feel like I would be a good mother but I'm unsure about what would be best for the babies. My parents are willing to stand by my decision no matter what and are willing to help out with finances, child care if I choose to keep the babies, etc...

I really, REALLY want to keep the babies, but I'm not sure what I should do.

Also, if it influences your decision, we're far from being Bill Gates, but we have enough money saved that if I was to keep the twins, I would not have a problem financially.

Answer 1

No one can make this decision for you.

You write that you "feel like I would be a good mother." Listen to that. You probably would be a great mother but you'll need lots of help, like the rest of us.

It's wonderful that you have the support of your parents no matter what you decide to do.

Good luck.

Answer 2

First and foremost, you are the only one that can make this decision, as hard as that is. NObody should tell you what to do- especially not us at Yahoo answers! You have already made an incredibly loving and unselfish decision to keep these two babies and not get an abortion and I am sure that you can make a decision that is right for you and these two children now as well. Have confidence in yourself!

Do you have anyone that you can talk this through with? A pastor or clergy person if you are religious, a counselor at school, a social worker, your parents who seem supportive? I'd highly suggest talking out loud about all of your options and choices - that way you can really get the reality of what each decision may make on your life.

Just know that there is NO wrong or right answer in this decision... either decisin you make can be a good one for both you & the babies... but you will have to feel ok with whatever your decision is.

To keep the twins-You'll need to consider if you can provide for these children...emotionally, as well as finacially, physically and what your plans rae for the future for yourself... if your parents are fully supportive - talk to them realistically about how you can do this and put together a plan - tell them how you are feeling about keeping the twins.

If adoption is what you are leaning towards or you want to explore further- Have you looked into an open adoption? That is an adoption where the new parents agree that you can be a part of the child's life in various ways depending on the agreement - at the least most open adoptions allow you to get child updates, photos, etc... and that way when the children want to know more about you they can easily-and you can feel secure in your decision as well. Some situations even allow for visits, etc...

I applaud you for thinking this through. You'll know that the decision is right when you feel at peace with it! Good luck! You have my prayers while making this tough decision!

Answer 3

This needs to be between you and your parents. Many teen moms are amazing mothers. The father of the baby should be forced to pay child support whether he wants to or not. If you have a great support system and you want to keep your children then do it! If you want to place them in an adoptive home but maintain contact with them over the years you can do that too. It is up to you. Having this much thought about it is great, you sound very mature and so I think you know what is best for the babies - only you will really know.

Answer 4

If you really want to keep the twins, then do so. My little cousin got pregnant at 16 and she had her daughter who is now gonna be 2 in April. She turned out to be a good mother. Her boyfriend did move in though which I didn't particularly care for that idea but its really none of my business. Anyway, you should definitely go with your gut feeling and I'm sure when you see them, you will definitely not want to give them up. Just remember though, that your kids come first before anything like hanging out with friends. All that fun stuff pretty much ends for a while. Believe me I had a baby 6 months ago and all my fun had to end. I used to love to go out and have a few drinks here and there, not anymore. Good luck with your decision.

Answer 5

Wow you do have a big decision to make. You are just a kid yourself and so much left to do in your life that having kids will prevent you from doing. I don't know if I could give up the babies if my parents were willing to help but this shouldn't be a burden on them. This was your fault getting pregnant at your age. If you do keep them I would definitely have the father held responsible for providing support. Twins will be costly and it took both of you to make them. Think of your responsibility toward them and if you think you can handle it then keep them. If I were your mother I would insist you keep them these would be my grandbabies. Think long and hard as to not have regrets later. Good Luck.

Answer 6

It is going to be hard but you have your family. Take parenting classes talk to your parents find out what was the easiest and hardest thing about being a parent. If you plan on going to college there are dorms where your twins can live with you. Parenting is hard but once you do it, it is something you can look back on. Keep your babies You have the support take your parents up on it and in turn show them that you are going to do right for your twins by getting your education
There are so many programs out there just get that education and your twins will appreciate the fact that their mom was a strong woman. You can do I am a 25 year old mom I dont have the family support around me except my husband. You dont need their father if he doesnt want to be there You keep the family support remember you can always give them up to your parents temporarily while you finish school that way you will see them and they know how you are. Take care. Please respond back to me.

Answer 7

Look while keeping the babies would be hard its not impossible especially if your parents are supportive. You need to consider that you will qualify for some financial help such as food stamps. ADC and WIC. Also in your life or no that boy is the father and needs to contribute financially. Try to live on the amount you get from the ADC and finish high school and go on to college if you are smart. You could finish high school and have a degree by the time these twins are 5. Well that would be real hard but see there is a way if you want to keep them. Be thankful for your parents help without it I would have felt differently.

Answer 8

No body can tell you what to do
I have a question, Did you look into adoption?
Have you contacted someone, and met any parents?
There is no harm in doing that. Meeting maybe parents, and talk to them may help you decide
Good luck.
I know there a people who can not have a baby, and are on waiting list. My brother waited three years, the first time, the mom kept the child. It's a risk most people are will to take.
It's not easy for them, but they believe they have the child you are suppose to have.\
Please think hard. Look at parents, and tell them up front you have not made up you mine
Good luck

Answer 9

That's a tough decision. You'll have to follow your heart and your head on this one. The fact that your parents are willing to help you with finances is huge, but you'll also have to consider everything you'll give up either way. If you're raising two children, you'll never have the opportunity to be a "normal" teenager again. Think about whether you're ready to give that up. I have a cousin who had a baby at 18, and she definitely wasn't ready to be a parent. She kept on partying and her parents had to take responsibility for the kid. But I also have another relative who gave a baby up for adoption and has always missed the child, to some extent. If you're religious, your church may have adoption services that you can look into. The services should have counselors that will help you decide what's best for you and your children, whether that's finding adoptive parents for them or keeping them yourself. The link below is to the adoption services for my church, but they will help anyone of any faith. If you'd like, give them a call and talk to a counselor about your options.

Answer 10

You need to do alot of soul searching and talk to a counselor. You can't get an answer like this from someone online. You have to make this choice. Can you give these babies all the love and attention they need? Are you planning on going to college? How will you handle school and two kids? Do you want to date and go out on the weekend or cuddle your kids in front of the tv? Mom and dad may help with the kids while you go to school and work but they are your kids and you have to be there to take care of them the rest of the time. Think about their future, at what point will you be able to support them on your own? Are mom and dad prepared to help for the long haul? You may want to talk to a minister or family counselor. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 11

Exerting this much thought and attention to what is best for the babies shows that you will be a good mother. I suggest that you keep them as that is what you seem to want to do. Parenting isn't easy for anyone and with your parents there to help you guys I think you could do it. However, be careful not to depend too much upon your parents b/c you are the mother and it is not their responsibility. Anyway, if you keep them you will be giving up your teenage years so no partying, dating, etc. (ok maybe dating eventually but you get what I mean). If you are capable of doing that then you should keep them.