My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 yrs. and we have two kids together. The past 2yrs. he has been seeing and sleeping with another woman off and on. Ever time I ask him about her he claims that he don't have anything to do with her no more but recently I found some text messages in his phone that proves that he has been lying to me. We have been through this so many times before in the past and each time he apologizes and tell me that he has left her alone, and he don't want to be with anybody else but me. He tells me that I am the one that he is going to marry, and this past Christmas he gave me an engagement ring, but yet I find out that he is still seeing her behind my back. I have had enough of this, but I love him so much I still don't want to leave him, but at the same time I don't know if I could ever trust him again. I am hurt and so Confused someone please help.
2007-02-13 08:01:06 · 23 answers · asked by simply_me22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just remember...Advice is something you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didn't. You know what to do.
2007-02-13 08:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by scaryopossumkid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
? Hurt & confused..........maybe you should have thought about that before there was 'unprotected intercourse'....TWICE! Accept the fact that no matter what you do or what he says, it's always going to be this way. Either get out of the relationship or think about an 'open marriage'. If the you choose the latter, please play safer and have regular check ups.
Maybe you can a three-way and see what makes her so good that he keeps going back!? After all she must be doing something he enjoys, or he's 'leading her along' just as he has done to you.
While reading other 'comments' it also comes to light that neither of you truly care about the children you have brought into this world. For if you did, there would have been a commitment a LONG time ago. The old story goes.........'You play, you pay'. So he fathered these children. Now you just take the 'advise' from strangers..........that boils down to 'leave him', 'you deserve better', etc, etc, etc. Well here's a news flash. Those children DID NOT ask to be yours, but they are. They did not ask to be born out of 'wedlock', but they were. Both of you need to make the commitment of marriage. If it doesn't work, so be it. BUT you haven't even taken that step. If he walks or you leave what future do these children have? More welfare, poverty ridden and 'burdens of society'. Who pays for your fun? Every hard working person in the country, that have their own family to support. THINK about it. How many men are there that will take the responsibility of raising another man's bastard child(ren). Do you think it's 'fair' to burden others? Reflect on YOUR current situation, seriously, then answer yourself. How many of the male respondences are willing to take you and the baggage you bring. How many of the females that offer the same type of comments would take you and your children into their home and support you?
To this point both are at fault.........QUESTION is what do you do to resolve the it?
All those who have given a 'thumb down' are just...............
2007-02-13 16:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by LifeRyder 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is though since you love him so much and you have 2 kids with him. But he is totally being an asshole. He doesn't respect you, or this woman or your kids. You should leave this guy because he is using you, using her and showing the worst example to your kids. He loves this life because he gets away with everything, since you know this and not doing anything about it. I wonder, does the other woman know about you and your kids. If not, try to locate her and let her know about you. This might slow him down, He will either leave her or you. Either way, he might end up having another girlfriend on the side again. That's why, have some dignity. Love is blind etc. but this is not a life for you and your family. By the way, he is giving you the ring to make sure you get all confused in the head. "He loves me, he loves me not!" He plays with your mind. Maybe he gave a ring to the other woman too. I'm sorry, I know how you feel.
2007-02-13 16:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by Natalie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course you shouldn't trust him anymore. You've been with the shmuch for 8 years and had 2 kids with him and he's still cheating on you. Wise Up. He's not going to marry you or he would have already. It's going to be hard on your own, but at least you won't be with a living with a liar that doesn't love you anymore. You can move on and find a guy that will be faithful.
2007-02-13 16:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by kelloggs322 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
from a guys perspective, ur just being played round with. he wants to have his cake n eat it at the same time! he wants fresh or diff sex but yet he wants somebody to watch his kids. i understand u love him, but im sure u love ur kids more and by u guys staying together and always arguing bout this and not being able to trust him anymore is going to affect ur kids on the long run. so ur better off taking ur kids, and moving on. u dont need trash like that. are u waiting for him to give some kind of STD in order for u to open ur eyes? or maybe have a kid with the other whore? sorry, but u need to find urself somebody that can appreciate u for who u are as a person and not treat u like some object that can be thrown around. if u really think bout it, its really not worth it marrying somebody u cant even trust! so just leave him and move on and ur gonna see how hes going to realize that u and his kids are worth a lot more than a freakin lil whore. but when he trys to come back, dont take him back. make his lil @ss suffer. thats my suggestion.
2007-02-13 16:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by oc 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You basically have two choices. You could break it of with him or just accept the fact that he is sleeping with another woman! But 8 years is a long time and you already have two kids! Good Luck!
xoxo,
Cosette
2007-02-13 16:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These kinds of situations never get better, he obviously has no morals. Id suggest going with him for couples counseling simply because of the engagement ring offers a slight bit of hope. If he hadnt proposed to you, id suggest you leave him.
You really should leave him though.
2007-02-13 16:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of these types of situations never get any better. It's time you realized that he is using you and you need to move on. Forget about him. Even if he is the kids' father, he is not to be trusted.
Dump him and move on. You need to find someone you can trust-100%.
2007-02-13 16:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by vgordon_90 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like it's time to make a decision. You know he cheats and has continued to cheat. This is who he is. If you love him so much and don't want to leave, accept the fact that he cheats. Say "My boyfriend cheats and sleeps with other women, but since I love him, I accept him for who he is and know I cannot trust him to be faithful."
Or, if you just can't tolerate his cheating, move out, file for child support payments, and end the relationship.
It's obvious he has no interest or desire to stop cheating. Stop hoping for some miracle to happen. Accept it or move out.
2007-02-13 16:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that tarting right now if you see anymore flirty messages or proof that he's still seeing her then he can have his engagment ring back and that you're leaving him.
Oh and you're taking the kids with you =]
be strong !
2007-02-13 16:05:40 · answer #10 · answered by Maddy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him you can't marry a guy you don't trust and you need a stable relationship especially for your children. Drop him find a man who knows how to treat a woman!
2007-02-13 16:05:43 · answer #11 · answered by **Blue** 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋