I'm a 23yo female virgin. I've been overweight and had low self-esteem my entire life so I've just never had the opportunity. Now I've gotten fit, healthy and happy and I'm getting offers (from serious to casual to sleazy).
I'm really not interested in dating randomly because honestly I am too freaked out by the emotions involved in the attraction/dating/relationship scene, being completely inexperienced.
But people tell me its only a matter of time before someone I like likes me back and if that does happen and develop, I'm worried about the effect my virginity will have on the relationship.
Is it really worth waiting?
How do guys really react to say a 30yr old virgin? Sure it shouldn't matter with love etc etc but how does it really play out?
Or is sex something I should just experience regardless of love (ie do it now!)?
I am curious but most of my friends who done it a lot through casual dating or a serious relationship tell me I’m not missing out on anything!
Thanks y'all!
2007-02-13 07:32:02 · 33 answers · asked by two_red_ribbons 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is something only you can decide. Wait for a meaningful relationship and then lose it. Don't lose it casually, just for the sake of "doing it".
sf
2007-02-13 07:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Silver Fox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To your friends who said you're not missing anything - either they've had bad experiences or they're lying to make you feel better. When I was with my first serious boyfriend, we decided to start having sex and we were both virgins at the time. We have broken up since then but I don't regret it at all. It was fun, it felt great, and it brought us close together. There's really nothing else like it and it's hard to explain.
Don't worry about it in terms of being inexperienced, I know guys who think that inexperience is cute or kind of a turn on because they can help you experience all kinds of fantastic things.
Probably the biggest downside is yes, it's easy to get attached to someone once you've been sleeping with them. So then I would say, make sure you're with someone you're comfortable with and trust, don't hook up with a guy just to "get it over with" or anything. It sounds like you value yourself more than to just let that happen and you take it more seriously than that.
When me and my boyfriend first started we made sure that we were both ready physically and emotionally, and we were really dorky and actually talked about how we thought it would go before it happened. It was kind of dorky but really it made it very special and I'm really happy with how it went, I wouldn't change a thing.
Just make sure that when you decide to lose your virginity it's with someone special. Don't worry about waiting if you think it's right for you!
In the meantime, there are always plenty of fun fooling-around type things that you can do with guys besides actually going all the way. Experiment a little with a boyfriend and see what you like and what you don't and at some point you'll feel ready for it.
Good luck! :)
2007-02-13 07:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Katie B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that being 23 yo and still being a virgin is a very awesome thing. I know that alot of friends who are that age now have four and five year olds at home. I think that if a guy has a problem with this then he's definitely not the guy for you! This is something that you should be proud of regardless of the size that you used to be. When the time comes you will make the right decision.
2007-02-21 05:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by mrschevgmt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult question to answer. I for one know for a fact guys would love to be with a virgin especially for a serious relationship. The only problem with it are the insecurities they would feel should they not be everything you expected. The underlying issue would be whether or not you will feel like there is something better out there. Unfortunately the only way to know is to get out there and test drive some cars before you buy one, so to speak. Should you choose to do this The only problem with it is that guys tend to not be able to get passed the fact that their girl isn't a virgin. And the question of how many people you slept with will plague their mind. So i guess the only advice i can give you is to test drive one or two cars, not 50. Most guys will seem to accept that you slept with 3 guys a the most.
2007-02-21 03:44:18 · answer #4 · answered by graduate_boy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Waiting is definitely worth it. Wait for a man that will wait for you. I was a virgin until age 20. I lost it to the man I will marry soon. I do regret giving it up before we were married, but I knew he was the one for me. I had many guys who wanted to have my virginity when i was younger. You are worth the wait, don't let anyone pressure you. I know how it feels to not think the best of yourself. I used to want a guy to take it from me because I wanted to feel wanted by someone. This is not the answer. Wait and the right man will come along. You'll be so much happier. He'll love you for every part of you. Trust me. I'm carrying extra weight and my man has no problem with that. The love will make the sex better.
2007-02-13 07:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Mocha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should always experience sex in marriage only. It is worth waiting. It's a benefit because if you give your virginity away before you're married, you'll feel like you lost some pieces from your heart. Find a guy who will want to spend the rest of his life with you. Usually the guys who want sex before marriage are the ones who lie, saying he'll stay with you. But then he ends up leaving you after he got what he really wanted. Again, it is worth waiting. I'm 14 and I'm going to wait, no matter what age I'll be when I get married. I hope you understand. I have a 27 year old sister and she didn't wait. Now, her life is kinda messed up.
2007-02-13 07:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by DragonLady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really aren't missing anything. You should be proud that you're a virgin. I'm 21, and I am still overweight and have a low self-esteem about it, but I lost my virginity at 18 to a guy I had absolutely no feelings for...and I still regret it. Sex is good when you're with a person you really care about, or better yet, someone you're in love with. So just wait. You'll find someone who is right for you and you will know when it's the right time for you to become more intimate with him. Don't rush it.
2007-02-13 07:37:36 · answer #7 · answered by blue_cow27 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must tell you I didn't lose mine until almost a year ago and I'm over 30. I was so glad I waited for the right person. No he isn't my husband or boyfriend just someone really special. You want to make sure what ever age you are it is the right person. Someone who you will never forget that makes you feel special. This is something that shouldn't be taken lightly. I must also tell you I was also always heavy and lost weight and you will see a total change in the way you are treated by men. Just remember if they didn't give you the time of day back then you don't need them now.
2007-02-13 07:42:57 · answer #8 · answered by LadyBug 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, it all depends on what you want. The first several times you have sex will not be all that great. (I know this from talking to many girls, my wife included, who was a virgin when we started dating at around age 20). Plus, any virgin, girl or guy, is going to be a bit intimidated by their first time, as well as a bit clumsy. So you'll obviously want to be doing this with someone who really cares about you and your situation. You can always simply get it over with, but that sort of situation is fraught with peril.
Really, it depends on the kind of relationships you want to have. If you are not interested in casual dating and sex, you'll want to wait until you have a real relationship. If you're interested in living it up and enjoying your sexuality, you'll simply have to find a way to practice and learn without getting into a bad situation.
A caring man will not think any less of you for being a virgin.
2007-02-13 07:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by yodadoe 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is worth waiting.
There is nothing in this world that can describe the way you feel when you make love with your husband for the first time!
I waited, and have not one single regret.
And don't worry about the guys. The guys that sleep around now, they don't want those girls later. That was just all fun and games. But when they are looking for someone to settle down with, and that wifey material, they want the virgin. One, she's never been touched. They love that fact!!!
I really think you should stick to your guns and wait it out until you have that special one - your husband!
Not only will you be happy and proud of yourself, but he will truly have a diamond in the rough!!!!
Hope this helped, and wish ya the best!
2007-02-13 07:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you ready for the consequences sex brings, there can be alot of emotion involved what if he doesn't talk to you much after and your feeling a strong connection, When you decide to have sex do it with someone your making love to because if your not comfortable and familiar with him it wont be as good, also I never had an orgasm before my husband so I always wondered what was so great about sex, and the reason was my husband was the only one I felt totally comfortable to let go with. Just a few things for you to think about.
2007-02-21 05:42:46 · answer #11 · answered by LuvnLife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋