I mean you know how twins are, right? You feel what your twin feels! It's like I just wanna step into her shoes and carry all the load from her, take it off her shoulder and put it on mine! I care about her so much and I love her.
PS
Why isn't anyone answering my question about my sister's guilt-trip feelings?! Please, people! Look it up! I need lots and lots of answers and my sis needs 'em too!
2007-02-13 07:26:39 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
In case you can't find my other question, her goes: There's this guy who's been in love with twin sister for years now. But it took my sis 3 1/2 years to realize that she loves him too. Finally, she did tell him that she's already learned to love him (over the phone) in her last conversation with her. Now, the guy is dead (tried to stand his ground in an attack in Iraq)! Two of the reasons why the guy went there was a.) to forget 'bout her, and b.) to serve our country. Now, my sister is feelin' guilty about three things. a.) She waited until the last minute to tell him she loves him, b.) she made him wait for 3 1/2 years, and c.) she feels like she sent him to his death (because she's one of the reasons why he went away). What do I tell her? She's suicidal!
2007-02-13 07:39:50 · update #1
PS
The attack happened an hour after their last phone conversation.
2007-02-13 08:40:22 · update #2
By the way, the guy's family hates her because they think the same. They think that she's the reason why he went away.
2007-02-13 08:46:00 · update #3
PS
If you're trying to look my other question up, try typing in, "the guy's in Heaven already." You'll find it more easily. Or you can read it here.
No one's answering my damn questions! It's not that I'm complaining about the answers, it's just that there are far too few answers. And my sister needs help! I need help! I can't stand to see her like that!
2007-02-14 09:58:48 · update #4
Man she have to learn how to live too, let her solve her problems give her some space so she can feel proud about herself too, show support not do the work for her
2007-02-13 07:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by artmusiclife74 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am an identical twin and I too love my sister more than life itself. We have always been best friends and nothing will ever change that! Of course it's normal for you to feel the way you do! After all, we have the rare pleasure of learning to love our twin for nine months before we venture out in to the world.
In August of last year I went to Tucson, AZ. to visit my sister. Although we talk every day, it had been six years since we had seen each other. I was devastated when I saw her and knew she had to be having some serious medical problems by the way she had changed and how hard it was for her to get around.
She made an appointment with her doctor, who after seeing her, was able to get her in to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. Last month we received the devastating news that my sis has lung and liver cancer. I was paralyzed with grief for three weeks. I wish, more than anything else in the world that this burden could be mine.
Her doctor mentioned the possibility of a liver transplant and asked Debbie if she thought a family member might be willing to help! Well she knew that answer immediately...identical twins have identical genes! Her next appointment at Mayo is next month, so I'm waiting to hear if the transplant is an option. If it is, I'll bet you know where I'll be going and what I'll be doing. I would give her my heart if it meant extending her life!
I never read your question about your sister's guilt-trip feelings. I'll try to look it up! Have a wonderful day! Annie
2007-02-13 07:55:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a parent of twins, and the way you love your sister is the same way a parent loves their child. Yes you want to fend for her, but what happens when you cant be there? I know its hard, but You should let her know that you are there whenever she needs you and check on her once in a while, but don't intervene unless she asks you to. Then when she does first offer some advice on how to fix it for herself, only when all else fails do you step in and fix the problem. This will not harm the twin to twin relationship but help her grow.
on the addition, you should help her find a good psychiatrist/therapist to talk to because if shes suicidal she needs more help than you can give her. More over, if she refuses to go, some states have a type of warrant (magistrate) that can be sworn out on a family member, which they are then held for 72 hours to be tested for mental problems. Its an extreme act to take but if shes that suicidal then maybe it will save her.
2007-02-13 07:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look be calm about this. One reason why people are not responding is because you are demanding answers. Stop that.
Second realize that the guy made an individual decision to go to iraq and whatever happened was as a result of what's going on there not because of your sister.
Third: Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. So she was afraid to love and it took her some time to figure it out, but that doesn't mean that she should blame herself for the rest of her life because of what happened to him. that's just life.
So you both have to move on regardless of all that has occurred. She can write his parents and express sorrow and sympathy for what happened to their son and she can go talk over issues with a counsellor.
Other than that move on in small ways, focussing on what is good in both your lives and be thankful for every day that you live.
2007-02-21 01:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by singsong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for you to feel this way.
I have twin sisters, and they are 28 years old now. But they feel they have to care for each others problems no matter what.
You just have to try to accept the fact that you just can't take on all of her problems. You can assist in ways to help, but only if she want's you to help her out. She loves you too, and is probably so proud of your for wanting to take away her pain and deal with it yourself. But she is also a grown individual (I'm assuming) like you. And she probably feels that it's her problem, and she can deal with it on her own.
I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but don't give up hope. Maybe there is something you can do to help her.
It would also be nice if you put exactly what the dilemma is so I can further assist you with the issue.
But I hope the info I gave helped ya some!
2007-02-13 07:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♥LadyC♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actual have a twin bro yet i assume that is different with men reason have self assurance it or no longer we get on nicely with one yet another, I advise we've some days the place we combat yet another day that is wonderful. we are no longer as previous as 15 and all people says we seem precisely the comparable. yet while me and my bro began struggling with like that i assume i'd probably supply it a while and notice what happens later. that is truly complicated for me to respond to simply by fact a million. i'm a guy and a pair of. that is by no ability happened to me Sorry dude
2016-09-29 01:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your sister both need some counselling. Her guilt is way too much for her to handle and although I understand you wanting to help your sister there is no physical way for you to "take over" her problems, ever. Perhaps you can both talk to a local church pastor or therapist. There are also support groups for people who have lost loved ones in wars, etc. It is wonderful that you love your sister so much but by trying to take over her problems you aren't help her, you need to find the proper help for her. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-21 02:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal for some siblings (aka older brothers or older sisters) to want to take on the 'burdens' of a disappointment. But the truth is...you can't solve the problems that they've gone through. You can offer all the suggestions that might help to make your sister happy...but whether she decides to take any of them is strictly her call?
There's nothing wrong with CARING as long as the word doesn't change to "CONTROLLING!"
2007-02-21 03:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by argytunes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your sister and you will always love and try to protect her from what you believe to be the forces that be, but the truth of the matter is, you are two individuals and have to live your own lives, so do what you can, when you can but let her live and be who she is intended to be, it is all a part of life. And guild trips are just that guilt trips, like all trips, they come to an end, eventually.
2007-02-19 21:36:28 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand how you feel because i am a twin 2........
u can care 4 her as much as u want and she probably feels the same as u..... but u have 2 let her handle her own problems. once in a while u can help her and give her advise but u cant do everything 4 her. let her have he own life (and in reality every1 has problems that they have 2 fix the themselves) anyway you r putting 2 much pressure on your self.
i also get how your sis feels 4 her love tht died. it will take a while 4 everything to get back on track but it will.tell her not 2 feel thats its her fault that he died......beacuse its not, its not any1s fault.
2007-02-21 03:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
****, man! Stop worrying about your sister! She can fend for herself! Can't she? Besides, she already told the guy that she's learned to love him! Isn't that enough? Isn't that what's most important? Isn't that all that matters? Sorry...
Someone once said (I just forgot who), "Life is a school for angels. Love is the teacher. So do your homework without fear. Death is merely graduation."
She learned to love, and that's what matters. That's what's important.
2007-02-15 05:24:35 · answer #11 · answered by Chichiri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋