Consequences for my kids?

Question

Okay, I have an 8 (boy) and 7 (girl). I'm trying to come up with a chart of rules and consequences. Basically the rules consist of : No running in the house, no name calling, no hitting, and no backtalking. Those are the 4 big ones at least that I think should have a "set" punishment. Any ideas for punishment? I've got one for the running - they pay me a dollar of their money....they value their money so that's cut down on it a WHOLE lot. What about the rest? They already do dishes and their own laundry and make beds as regular chores so those can't be a punishment. Any suggestions????? Or does anyone have a punishnent/reward system already made up that you could share with me????
Thanks so much!!!
Being a parent is the toughest job in the world!!!!

For Gabriell down at the bottom who thinks children at age 7 & 8 should have no chores and would like to know what it is I do all day -
Well, let's see...I get up at 5:30 am, take out dogs, feed the cats, help the kids get ready for school, get them snacks, get myself ready for work, drop them off, have a quick cup of coffee with my husband, go to work, go work for a lawyaer for extra cash on my lunchbreak, pick the kids up after I get off (at 5), cook dinner, help with homework, wash laundry, do bills, do my homework (I'm also a night student 2 nights a week in college) and on weekends between cleaning the house and the kids I'm often at the pottery business I'm part owner of. OH......AND I"m pregnant!!! And only 27....THAT's what I do thank you. And at 7 & 8 they are plenty old enough to earn a keep and they have a VERY privaledged life (more than most kids), fun-filled and full....but they aren't SPOILED.

Answer 1

a good old-fashioned spanking should do it.
that's what my family has always done.

Answer 2

How about instead of punishing them for breaking the rules, you reward them for following the rules. It may have better results in the long run...

For example, make up a simple chart for your fridge. And each day that they do a great job of following all the rules, they get a star next to their name. If they break a rule, no star.

After a set amount of time, say a week or whatever, whomever has stars on all of the days will get a special treat.

In addition to the weekly treat, you could even make it a competition ... and once a month, the child with the MOST stars gets to plan a monthly "fun night" where the whole family goes out to dinner and a movie together, all the choice of the "winner." If you have a tie, you have two fun nights.

Answer 3

Discuss the things that need *to be* around the house. Behavior chores etc. Then set up a board with those things on it. Then put a check mark when you see them *not* running in the house etc. And announce it loudly I saw you not run in the house check mark! When they aren't following the "rules" then tell them quietly that you noticed they forgot. At the end of the week there should be a movie, ice cream shop or sleepover or whatever they would like that is a normal-ish reward for being decent little humans. Things they got in the past when there wasn't a board. In other words not Disneyland! You have to be the manipulator :-)

Answer 4

I haven't read through all of the responses to you question, so I do not know if this has been suggested or not. But you could try a "token economy." In other words, assign a point value to each chore or task and your gets will receive "points" for doing that task. For example, cleaning their rooms may be worth 50 points, taking out the garbage 10 points, talking nice to each other 3 points, etc.

Then, as they desire to have privileges like watching TV, going out to play with friends, having a sleep over, etc, they would need to "cash" in the points they have earned inorder to purchase the privilege. You can literately give them slips of paper with point totals scribbled on them, or record their earned points on a sheet of paper attached to the fridge, or whatever.

This system works similar to the real world where you have to go to a job, earn money, and so on before you can earn a privilege, IE buy a TV.

Answer 5

I have heard of this one.....I have not tried it but my kids are still to young for it......I have know people who say it works well......

1. For each rule they break....take away a toy, or game or something they like......or what they were playing with at the time....for example...if the kid were playing a video game when they hit the other sibling....take away that game...of if they were carring a toy when they were caught running take that toy....if they were playing with anything...use your judgement to make the take away fit the crime....

2. Create a reward system also....say for example if they get all of their chore done they get say 5 stars...or if they do something extra on top of thier regular chores, they get 10 stars, if they do something that is not part of their regular chores they get however many stars....make them work for the stars but don't make them really hard to get....the better the action, the more stares earned....try and be consistant with this.....

3. At the end of every week allow them to use their stars to "buy back" their toys....The worse the crime, the more stars it takes to buy back the toy....My friend for example chared 10 stars to buy back a game for a simple thing like running, but say his boy hit is brother or something....that is a more serious crime, so it would cost 20 stars to get the game back.....only allow them to buy toys back at the end of the week....don't let them buy them back right away.

It does two things, it not only punishes the bad behavior but encourages the good at the same time.....It work well for my friend, and I plan on trying it when my kids get old enough to understand the system.

Answer 6

Well my kids are still pre-school age, so I am not dealing with any of those sorts of things. At my children's age, I use a lot of positive reinforcement. I also use a lot of role modeling with my oldest towards the youngest. So I don't have my own applied experience with what you are going through, but here is what my parents use to do to me at that age. I remember hating it, but I also remember learning quite a bit. I used to have to write definitions and sentences from the dictionary. We had a large old dictionary, and my father would pick pages and I would write out the word and the definition. As I got older I had to also write sentences for each word, then in pre teen, I used to type them.

As an adult this always stuck with me, not only, did I generally never do whatever got me into trouble again, I developed a tremendous vocabulary, and an affection for reading. I am also one heck of a Jeopardy player. good luck!

Answer 7

name calling - must list 5 things that they love about their sibling and read it at dinner. hitting- made to apologize to child immediately, stay in room w/ no tv, video games etc. until hurt child says that the punishment is over. backtalking- apology to parent at dinner in front of family, and must do something nice for parent to express how sorry they are. Mother of 3, and yes it is the hardest job in the world!

Answer 8

I appreciate your creativity and if works for you who am I to assert this does no longer artwork. It only looks to me that handing out self-discipline should not be resembling a Las Vegas crap shoot because, that's severe agency and thanks to each and every of the variables at play the following. What occurs even as the 14 365 days old pulls out the spanking paper because she or he waited to lengthy to do a chore or what if the three 365 days old attracts the wash the vehicle slip because she or he did not %. their toys. the position's the coolest judgment of the effect in this and the reassurance that the punishment is age suitable.

Answer 9

as far as the award/punishment system-try taking away privileges. As far as them having chores at their age-bully for you! I had chores at that age as well and think there is nothing wrong that idea-teach them a strong work ethic early so they don't turn into lazy bums who expect everything to be handed to them later in life.

Answer 10

Restrict TV/ videogame/ phone time. Also, if you're trying to install real world values in them, another punishment can be that they have to cook dinner one night, take out the trash, or something like that

Answer 11

I bought me a timer for a xmas present. They're a godsend.

If things begin to get "out of hand" we separate them, each to their room to take a break or time out. They can practice their instruments there, or read but the main thing is to calm their energy down.

I also make an effort to reward good behavior.