asleep in church (joke)?

Question

Subject: Asleep in Church
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>A man approached the minister at his church....
>>>>
>>>>"Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps
>>>falling asleep
>>>>during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention
>>>>disrespectful. What can I do?"
>>>>
>>>>"I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the
>>>task," said
>>>>the minister. "Take this hat pin with you. I can see when
>>>Mrs. Jones
>>>>is sleeping, and I will motion to you. When I motion, you
>>>give her a
>>>>good poke in the leg with the hat pin."
>>>>
>>>>In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off.
>>>Noticing this,
>>>>the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate
>>>>sacrifice for you?" he said nodding to Mr. Jones.
>>>>
>>>>"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in
>>>the leg
>>>>with the sharp hat pin.
>>>>
>>>>"Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick
>>>reply.
>>>>
>>>>Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband.
>>>>Soon, Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. "Who
>>>is your
>>>>redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr.
>>>Jones.
>>>>
>>>>"My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the
>>>pain.
>>>>
>>>>"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his
>>>face.
>>>>
>>>>Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening
>>>glare.
>>>>
>>>>Before long, though, she again nodded off. This time,
>>>however, the
>>>>minister did not notice.
>>>>
>>>>As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand
>>>gestures
>>>>that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to poke his wife with the
>>>hat pin
>>>>again.
>>>>
>>>>The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she
>>>bore him
>>>>his 99th son?"
>>>>
>>>>Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me
>>>one more
>>>>time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun
>>>don't
>>>>shine!"
>>>>
>>>>"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.

it may seem long but its really funny.

Answer 1

LOL!!! thats a good one!!! hahaha!

Answer 2

Funny

Answer 3

Not so funny. That's not how it goes!! This is how I heard it. Now listen up. A couple are in church one Sunday. The wife uses this time to do her knitting. The husband uses this time to do his napping. The priest is in the middle of his sermon and says, "and you know who made the heavens the Earth?" she notices him nodding off and pokes him with her knitting needle. He yells, "God!!" The priest says, "Right!" Then later in the sermon, he says, "and you know who God sent us to redeem us of our sins, don't you?" She again notices her husband nodding off and pokes him with her knitting needle and he yells, "Jesus!!" Again the priest responds, "That's right!" But then the priest says, "You know, it is said that original sin was really the sex act. But I have a theory of why they never had children while in the garden of Eden. I bet you can't figure out what Eve told Adam every time he tried anything with her...." The woman notices her husband nodding off yet again and again pokes him with her knitting needle. He then yells, "If you poke me with that thing one more time, you're gonna get it!!" The priest, never missing a beat, says, "How'd you guess?"

Answer 4

lmao. I read one like this but with Little Johny and his friend Sussie in Sunday school. GD!!!

Answer 5

HaHaHa-its cute-it would be nicer if the >>>> were not there-but it was still good!

Answer 6

i just posted this one a while ago. i heard it at jesus camp.

Answer 7

good one

Answer 8

that is the funniest thing ever.... lol im still laughing!

Answer 9

i actually read it and thought it was cute!! where do you find or come up with jokes like that??? You are so clever!!! well i dont mean to sound pushy, but can i have 10 points??? please?!?!?!

~Gladys~

Answer 10

NEVER HERD OF THAT 1