As a parent what would you do if your child did the complete opposite of everything that you tell them to do?

Question

What else can you do as a parent to get your child to listen and follow the rules that you set for them?

We have tried everything. we don't believe in spoiling him rotten and we don't allow him to run the street. we are strict, but not to strict.

I am not my step son, I was brought up to respect my family and my things, the same things I have been trying to teach him for the past 5 years and nothing works. He still lies, steals and misbehaves. I know right from wrong and have been trying to teach him the same, but it just doesn't seem to sink in.

Answer 1

You are a normal parent experiencing what the large percentage of parents experience every day! Children will do the opposite of what we request from them...I believe it's simply part of the growing-up process that we have to get through. Somehow, and honestly, there are many times I've wondered how we made it, we managed to raise five children who lead normal lives. Through the trials and tribulations, and after all was said and done, my husband and I did come to one very important revelation that would have probably saved us a great deal of frustration.

We were also strict and we thought we weren't too strict, but that's where we were wrong. Out of love we wanted to protect the kids from the evils of life. In doing so, however, we created a stronger sense of curiosity in the kids to try and figure out what it was they were missing out on. As kids will, they did exactly what we asked them not to do.

One of my children got caught up with some pretty negative peers. Instead of our trying to work the problems out, the consequences for his refusal to abide by our wishes became more severe (instead of grounding him for a week it would be three weeks, etc.). We wouldn't listen to him and believing anything he told us was an impossibility! That was our biggest mistake!

When kids are raised knowing the difference between right and wrong, they will generally make the right choices for themselves. Children (all people for that matter) need guidelines, and need to understand the expectations of their folks, so keep the expectations high, but not so high that they become impossible to achieve.

After we instill in their hearts a strong set of ethics and values, as parents, and this is the hard part, we have to trust them to experience life and make their own decisions regarding their peers and the activities in which they decide to be involved.
We never allowed our kids to make important decisions for themselves. My fear was that they'd make the wrong ones.

But do you know...if a bad decision was going to be made by any of our kids, nothing we could have done would have stopped them. Every one of our kids agreed one Christmas (when we were all together), that they had so desperately hoped we would give them the faith they needed to be allowed to make certain decisions for themselves instead of our trying to "adjust the mirrors of life" at every step they took. They said that trust between parents and children has got to be a two-way street. All of my children allow their children to make choices without interfering and my grandchildren are all success-bound. They are lovely and responsible young people who stay out of trouble, are doing well in school, and who have never tried drugs.

That's about the best I can tell you. You've done what you can do, so it would probably be a good thing to let your child start making some decisions on his own. Don't go completely opposite of what you normally do. Sit down and tell him what you are doing, and believe me, he will respwect you for it...so much so, that I doubt he would do anything to disappoint or hurt you. Challenge, but don't overwhelm is a good motto to live by.

Good luck! Annie (Remember, it's okay to let go a little and then have tons of faith in your son's ability to choose.)

Answer 2

Well, the details are, you are pregnant & you're going to must inform them. You are 17yrs historical, it isn't the tip of the arena, you are practically an grownup. I had my first little one at 18yrs historical. The well information this is you could have a boyfriend whom, I'm assuming loves you & is blissful approximately the youngster. You can get a task, you'll nonetheless pass to university, it'll simply take slightly extra time & it can be slightly bit more difficult. Your mothers and fathers might very good freak out & they've each proper to if you're: one million.Going to offload the youngster off on them whilst instances get hard. two.Going to make excuses for why this ruined your lifestyles afterward & smash your lifestyles. (The just one who can come to a decision if there lifestyles is ruined is you) You might must uncover a location to stick, does your boyfriend have a task, cash, auto, a location to stick already? How approximately his mothers and fathers, might they be extra supportive of the concern & be inclined to aid you men out whilst you're seeking to get in your ft? I might say speak for your boyfriend approximately establishing a few sort of plan right here approximately simply getting your lives in combination & determine in combination learn how to make this paintings, plan on following by way of with it, then proportion that together with the concern together with your mothers and fathers. Best of good fortune to you men sweetie. I realize you are frightened & scared however do not worry an excessive amount of, there are approach worse circumstances you would be in proper now, & regardless of how dangerous it's proper now, I promise it is going to get larger.

Answer 3

Try taking away some of the "toys"...computers, video games, TV, hanging with friends. Find what they really like, then take it way when they don't listen. You have to be consistent and be the boss. Who's the parent? Can you imagine one of your parents asking someone the question you just did? I'll bet they knew how to make YOU listen!

Answer 4

honest sometime it best to let them ,learn it on their own,, i being a dad of 6 childern. i find some time,no matture what i say, they got to learn it the hard way,we can only love them an be their to pick them up,