Is it time to break up?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. We are both pretty laid back people; we never fight, we never get jealous or possessive.

However, lately are relationship has been getting a little dull. We both have pretty demanding schedules and are respectful of that. However, b/c of it we only spend 1-2 days a week together and often we just stay in at each others places, watch movies and order out food. We haven't had an actual date in a few months.

Also, lately certain traits, habits, etc of my boyfriend have been annoying me. I understand he has a laid back personality,. but sometimes I think he's too lackadastical about our relationship. He also is not very open about his feelings, and that borthers me when I want to have a serious conversation about our relationship.

I have thought on occassion if there is someone else out there for me. I know my boyfriend loves me, but sometimes we are uncomptable. Is it time for me to leave? Is it really over?

Answer 1

A "break" may do you good. Being without each other for a few weeks could make you realize you need each other and you need are prepared to make changes for this relationship to work, or, it could be that breath of fresh air you both need to clear your heads and move on. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Wow 3 years, I wouldnt want to break up let alone being dumped if I was dating for that long. Do you know if he has the same feelings, that things have changed and does he realize his faults and these 'annoying habits' of his and tried to change them? If you were together for 3 years, theres obviously something about him, or 2 or 3 or 4 things about him that you love, and thats why you're still together. In relationships, you're going to come across difficult times, times where it is rough or feels different. Just remember that not everything is going to always be perfect; that is experiencing true love, being able to withstand being together with someone no matter how bad times can get. But what I say is follow your heart. if you are truly unhappy and think theres someone else out there, then let it happen. But just remember that noone is going to be perfect.. if the man you are with has the 9 out of 10 things you look for in someone, keep him, you're never going to find someone with 10. Just remember whats most important. You should write a list of why you love him and should be with him, and why you should not. Then look at the reasons you do and ask yourself the importance of those in a guy.. and will it be that easy to find another man with those in him, and still not have any negatives about him?

Sorry I wasnt too organized in this, but i hope it helps. best luck to you

Answer 3

The honeymoon's over..and you need to get some spice in your lives.
Quit watching movies and ordering out food. Get your butts out of the house if you're bored. If you don't want to stay in, plan to do something out...and take him out for a surprise. He might think that because you're home all the time that's what you like to do. How's the poor guy supposed to know you want to go out if you don't tell him? Is he supposed to be a mind reader?
And maybe spice up your sex life a little bit -- try something new every once in a while. Surprise him!
And don't worry about the "serious conversations." Guys are different than girls. They don't really want to sit around and talk about their feelings. He's still coming around, isn't he? Then he loves you. After a certain period of time, you shouldn't have to be shrieking the I love you's from the mountaintops anymore. There's more ways to show you love someone than the constant declarations. That's kid stuff. Real life isn't like an episode of "Sex and the City."
Sounds like you have a nice steady guy there. Do you want a guy to fight with? Do you want jealousy? Possessiveness? Or do you want a nice, mature relationship based on mutual respect?
And if you don't feel like your relationship is something you would want to bother working on, then let your boyfriend go. There's lots of ladies out here who would be happy to snap him up.

Answer 4

This is why it is important that people take it slow whenever dating, gives the couple time to find out things about each other before deciding on a more committed relationship. If you are ready to bail out of the relationship without at least giving it another chance then sounds to me you already made up your mind. Otherwise, I would suggest you two get away from doing the same old boring things and get out and do other things together. Sometimes involving other friends to come along will add a chance for you two to get away from the same old boring conversations. Use your imaginations. Most relationships come to a point of boredom, this is when you have to think of things to do to spice things up a bit. Good luck to you both!

Answer 5

To be honest I was in the same situation, my boyfriend would leave and go back home for days at a time when we lived together. His home was in another city, about an hour away. this is what u do. If you really love him, tell him how you are feeling. If he loves you then he should be willing to make the change. As for getting the spark back in the relationship somethimes you just have to do some unexpected things and he will come around trust me because my boyfriend is now my husband. Communication is the key.

Answer 6

Love is a choice, not a feeling. You have to decide, not feel, if you want to move on. I've been married a long time, and I gotta tell ya, it's not always warm and fuzzy. But make no mistake, it's a choice. Make it or not, but don't focus on feelings...they change depending on hormones, a friendly cashier, a nice phone call, a bad hair day, you name it.

I think it's time to tell him you are feeling this way. He may be thinking there is someone else for him. But decide, and stick with it, or go find that other guy, that you will have to make this same decision about in a couple of years...It doesn't change because the face changes...it's a decision you have to make daily.

It's worth it, though...having someone who knows you and loves you know matter what. Having a history with someone is nice and comforting. Good luck!

Answer 7

Try spicing things up. When you do find the time to be together how about you do something out of the norm. Instead of always being at home why not go out and do something fun together. If he is not responsive to your needs and wants then maybe you need to bring that to his attention. From there you should be able to decide wether or not you want to leave him. Honestly if you really wanted to leave you would have left already! :-)

Answer 8

There's laid back and then there's dead. You two sound dead. I know what it's like to be busy - but when you do see each other, it should be fun and exciting. I don't mean that every night should be romantic and thrilling, but you should look forward to it. Do you talk every day. Do you have anything to talk about. Do you have fun with him. Does he make you happy. You say that you know he loves you - do you love him?

Never fighting, never getting jealous, that to me is a sign that neither one of you cares enough to bother.

Answer 9

We've all gotten away from where "Real Love" is suppose to be kept. OUr Hearts. We've offered it from our bodies, minds, heads, and Bank Accounts. But few have had their Hearts as the main reason to be in Love. Love this Guy, from your Heart? And have him give his Heart to you? Or you did need to leave. Your Body, his Looks, Loneliness. or anything else. Shouldn't be why you're with him It's in the Heart, Ma'm. or it's over.

Answer 10

You need to sit him down and make him talk to you. Before you end this, maybe you two have just gotten too comfortable with each others ways. Ask him out.. nothing wrong with that.