how can I get my 3 year old and 18 month old out of my bed?

Question

my children have sibling rivalry issues especially over mommy and I cant seem to get them out of my bed I am exhausted all the time because I cant get a good nights sleep

Answer 1

I'm assuming that you've allowed them to sleep with you until now? My daughter and I co-slept until she was 18 months old, and then we moved her into a twin-sized bed in her own room. We did it gradually, as there was no way I would let her "cry it out" - to begin with, I'd lie down with her until she was asleep, then I'd sit on the edge of her bed till she was asleep, then on a chair near the door, then just outside the door, until she was going to sleep on her own. It took about three weeks from start to finish, but now (at three years old) bedtime is a dream - story, lights out, close door, the end. It's very, very rare that she crawls in bed with me in the middle of the night now. I know that scenario would be harder for you, since you have two children - maybe consider having them share a room, and then you could work with both at the same time? Best of luck to you, I remember very well how frustrating those sleep issues are! Wishing you a good night's sleep very soon.

Answer 2

First off, make sure they have a going to bed routine like bath, story, brush teeth then bed. The first time they get up tell them it's bed time and tuck them back into bed. The second time they get up, say nothing and just put them back to bed. keep doing this as long as it takes. It'll take some work because they're now in the habit of thinking it's perfectly ok to get out of bed because they can just get to go in mummy's big bed so of course they'll take advantage. They're only doing what they know fine well they'll get away with. The first couple of nights will be really hard but just persevere and I guarantee you they'll besleeping through the night in their OWN beds within a week. Another thing to tryis to leave their door ajar and when you leave say "mummy will be back in 2 minutes" when you return just pop your head round the ddor to show you're still around and this time say "mummy will be back in 5 minutes" eventually they'll nod off. Good luck xx

Answer 3

Kick harder! Just kidding. It will probably mean a few more nights of sleeplessness, but put them in their beds and if they get out put them back for as many times as it takes to keep them there. Just think, it will probably only take a few days to keep them there for good, then you can finally get a great nights sleep.

Answer 4

I don't have a long explanation like everyone else, but maybe look into getting them their own "big kid" beds. Toddler size or Twin and make a big deal out of it. They may get so excited about your excitement and WANT to sleep in their beds!

Depending on if you have boys or girls, I think this bed is really cute and it might get her (if u have a girl) really excited!

http://www.onestepahead.com/product/117/314762/117.html

Answer 5

It does not work well to tell children to sleep in their bed and then relent when they act up. This only teaches them that their persistence will be rewarded with a trip to your bed.


The best approach is to discover the underlying cause or causes for your child's behavior. At some level, your child knows why she doesn't want to sleep in her own bed, even if she isn't able to articulate what she is feeling. If you ask her outright what she is feeling, you may not get any valuable information.


A great way of discovering what your child is feeling is to play with her using dolls or action figures to represent members of a family. Have the characters act out several typical family situations: mealtime, going to the park, driving in the car, etc. Enact several of these non-threatening situations, and let your child put words into the figures' mouths. When you get to bedtime, if your child is hesitant to talk, you can try speaking for the characters. If your child has gotten into the play, she will correct you if you give the characters motivations that are inaccurate from her perspective.


Another approach is to encourage your child to color or paint while she tells you about what she is creating. Be sure to allow her lots of time to open up and don't react negatively if she says something you don't want to hear.


The things you are most likely to find are: your child has night time fears, i.e. she is afraid of the dark, being alone, closet monsters, etc.; she is jealous of one parent or a sibling; she is afraid of losing your affection if she "grows up"; or some variation of one or more of these.


If your child is suffering from night time fears, give her tools that empower her to overcome her fears:

o Give her a flashlight to play with (especially during the day in a darkened room) to help overcome fear of the dark.
o Give her a spray bottle filled with "monster spray" so she can shoot the monsters if they come out.
o Record a tape of her favorite stories and songs that she can turn on whenever she is feeling alone or afraid (it is best if the recording is of your voice).
o Give her a stuffed animal as big as she is to sleep with.
o Ask her for suggestions.


If the primary reason your child wants to sleep with you is night time fears, you should be able to switch her into her own bed as soon as she has the tools to cope with her fears.


If you discover that your child is jealous of one parent or a sibling, evaluate the situation and determine if she has reason to be jealous. If she has a younger sibling who is getting most of your attention during the day, she may feel the only time she "gets you" is at night. The best way you can help overcome her jealously is to pay special attention to her when she is not asking for it.


If your child reveals that she is afraid that she will lose your affection when she grows up, take stock of what you are communicating to her regarding growing up. You may inadvertently be sending her the message that you want her to stay a baby. If this is the case, consider how you can change her feelings by the way you communicate with her.


You will need to take some time for your child’s feelings to change before you can move her into her own bed. When you do, you may need to make the change in several stages. The first few nights she might sleep on the floor beside your bed. The next move might be right outside your door, then into her own bed. The large stuffed animal or the tape recording of your voice may help ease the transition.

Answer 6

Just put them to bed in thier own beds and when they come to yours put them back in thier own until they stay there.