Can you really bond with someone's children like you would your own?
2007-02-13 06:42:11 · 13 answers · asked by britches 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I decided long ago that I would never date, much less marry, a man with kids. I don't really believe in recycling some other woman's broken family. I want my husband to be mine, without ties or obligations to other women or children. I don't need the drama, I don't need a man split between 2 families, and I don't need our kids growing up with children "visiting" their dad.
2007-02-13 06:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes a very special, selfless individual with a loving heart to accept another person's kids. I know of several situations where the woman has had a hard time with this & things have gotten worse once the marriage took place. You can really bond with the kids if you are really & truly going to treat those kids & accept them as your own. You have to LOVE them first & develop a sincere relationship with them. You have to be real about it or everyone ends up discontent & hurt. If you cannot commit to loving those children at all times - I suggest you walk away right now. Otherwise you would not be very fair. Again, it takes a very special person with the love of God in their heart to do this. Relationships are hard enough without the complicating factor of kids too.
2007-02-13 06:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by ELIZABETH B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people refuse to be with a person with children. In doing so, they are missing out on a potentially great mate for themselves. As long as that person meets your needs, the relationship should be fine with the children. I haven't been involved in that sort of situation but I am sure a special bond would develop as long as you let the kids get close to you at their own pace.
2007-02-13 06:49:30 · answer #3 · answered by mdaneshrsenior9990272 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can! I just recently married my husband and he has two kids14 & 11 and I have an 11yr old. We all get along super! his kids live with thier mother and my son lives with us of coarse! You don't start out as a ruling parent, you start out by become a friend and talking getting to know the child. First of all it is all about respect! I had step mothers that truly didn't care for my sister and myself, just daddy's money! This is where I learned how to handle my situation. Get to know the child, thier likes and dislikes! Set rules meaning I know that I'm not your mother and I'm truly not trying to be. I love your dad and want to love you to. They all are old enough for us to have discussions about things and we do! When the are at the house we do family things and continue wen they are gone. We share things and don't make differences between them if one gets they all get. They are children and all should be shown love if yours or not! It may seem hard at times and trying but just remeber if the shoe was on the other foot how would you would want your to be treated. All children want what we all search for and that is truly LOVE! Just take time and you don't have to force it, it will happen!
2007-02-13 07:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a great thing. All people make mistakes or are put into this situation without choice. This does not mean that the person has done something wrong or is promiscuous. I think it takes a bigger person to take on such a Hugh responsibility and treat the children like their own.
2007-02-13 07:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine. As we get older the chances of meeting someone w/o children diminishes anyway, so if we choose to date only childless people, once we hit our 30s and 40s that would SIGNIFICANTLY reduce the size of the dating pool.
2007-02-13 06:46:11 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have done exactly that...and yes it's possible to bond with the kids very well...
however, it's not the same as being the birth parent, but still has a lot of good things going for it
2007-02-13 06:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by an_articulate_soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah. if the kids hate you, then you justs have to fight for their dad or mom. they should come around soon after that. i think it'll be kinda hard since some partners would hide it from their kids like it was humiliating to go out w/ someone.
2007-02-13 06:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. But when this doesn't work out...even after a few years, it also feels like you lost those kids too.
2007-02-13 06:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on circumstances and how they have been raised. How they accept you. But yes you can, could be trying at first, you have to earn their love and respect.
2007-02-13 06:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by blue2blnde 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋