My son wants some jokes to say at school. I only know adult ones!
2007-02-13 06:33:48 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what kind of animals are the worst dancers? Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet
2007-02-13 06:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by kmsmifla2007 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Why are Vultures Religious?
Cause there Birds of Prey
What would happen if seagulls, instead of flying over the sea, flew over the bay?
They'd become Bagels!
What is slippery, wet and says "How do you do" 16 times?
To octopuses shaking hands!
What did the boy octopus say to his mother?
"when we cross the street can i hold your hand,hand,hand,hand,hand,hand,hand,hand"
Why did the fool burn his ear?
The phone rang while he was ironing!
What the the fool call his pet tiger?
Spot.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea. (No eyed deer)
Boy1: What's Grey , has 10 hairy legs, and has eyes on stalks?
Boy2: I dunno
Boy1: I don't know either, but there is one crawling up your back!
What did the policeman say to his chest?
You're under a vest!
DESCRIPTIVE JOKES---
Bees- shouldn't someone tell 'em the'll die when they sting you?
Spiders- dont they know that the bath tub is the last place they should explore?
wasps- While everyone runs away from 'em, why does it take 'em hours to get out of a room, even after you've opened the window they're standing on?
ants-So they can carry ten times their weight? Big deal! Thousands of years on the planet and still they ain't found a way to build a truck!
Blue bottles- what's the point of there existence? dont they relise if they insist on flying around a human they'll have their buzzing stopped forever?
snails- Get an engine or something!
Moths- shouldn't they learn that the light they're banging into isn't the moon. And if they keep on banging against your head they'll soon be banging against a rolled-up newspaper.
Daddy Long legs- Oh look! a human, something bigger and stronger than me! I know, I'll fly straight into them until I've annoyed them enough to kill me and i still won't stop till they've completed their mission!
LAST ONE---
Fly: Oh look at the time i must fly
Bee: I'll buzz you later
FINISHED---
I hope you've enjoyed my jokes thx
2007-02-14 08:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by Dom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your son?
My son loves telling this one, but he's a preteen
A guy from a foreign country (I think Japan) comes to America and attends adult school. The students are asked to learn 4 new phrases.
First the man goes to a Japanese restaurants and request chopsticks. The waiter hollers out "Forks and Knives, Forks and Knives!!"
Next he sees two kids fighting and sees someone break it up and one of the kids hollers "He STOLE my lollipop".
Later he hears two guys arguing and one guys yells out, "Bring it on Fatboy!"
Then he goes home and hears an appliance commercials catchy song, "Plug it in, plug it in"
The next day as he's on his way to school he passes the restaurant he ate at the day before, unaware that someone was killed there after he left. The waiter identifies him and the police grab his arm and ask him if he killed this man. The man, not understanding, nods his head 'yes'. The police then ask, what did he kill him with. The man decides to use the English he's learned and says,
"Forks and Knives, Forks and Knives"
The police then asks, "Why did you kill him?"
"He stole my lollipop!"
The police says, "Sonny, I'm arresting you!"
"Bring it on FATBOY!"
The police is furious and yells out "You're gonna get the death penalty for this!"
"Plug it in, Plug it in..."
2007-02-13 06:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by Oh Suhnny Day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knock Knock jokes are the best
Knock Knock
Who's there
Duane
Duane who
Duane the bathtub, I'm drowning!
Why did the man throw the clock out the window
To see if time could fly
Why do cows wear bells? because their horns don't work
How do you catch a unique bird?
unique up on it. (you sneak up)
How do you catch a tame bird?
the tame way, unique up on it!
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead!
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see Monkey do
Why did the third money fall out of the tree
Peer pressure!
2007-02-13 06:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear the joke about the cookie?
- it was kind of crumb-y
Knock knock jokes are good too. I can't remember them off the top of my heard, but I remember thinking they were the funniest things I used to hear in elementary school.
2007-02-13 06:37:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My kids like knock knock jokes for some reason, and it seems like other kids like them too. Heres some I thought I made up, but as I found out later that they already existed.
Knock Knock, who's there, Atch, Atch who, Bless you.
Knock Knock, who's there, Yeah (or Woo), Yeah/Woo who, Settle Down, it's just a joke.
2007-02-13 06:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by derelicthypotheses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I only know adult ones too, haha sorry!
stick to the classics like why did the chicken cross the road.
2007-02-13 06:35:54 · answer #7 · answered by jus meeee :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When two men landed on the moon, they found some bones. Then one man said to the other, "I guess the cow didn't make it."
Ofcorse only children who have heard the nursery rhyme will understand this. Hopefully you got it.
2007-02-13 06:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did Tigger have his head down the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
What do you call an italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto. (Rubber-toe)
What do you call a french man wearing sandals?
Flip-flop. ( said in a french accent)
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was out standing in his field.
2007-02-14 23:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hickory Dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one and the other two escaped with minor injuries
2007-02-13 07:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by I see dumb people 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out these authors in your local library. George Carlin,Andrew D Clay, or Samuel Kinason.I've heard they have some excellent childrens jokes. Tell us how it turns out.
2007-02-13 06:39:05 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋