I am going to go back out into singledom again very soon and my ex claims that men just don't want a 43 year old with a kid. I know that I'm a good-looking woman with a good figure. I don't argue and I don't nag. I love completely and without reservation, and I guess unfortunately for me, am loyal to a fault. I'm the kind of woman who needs to have a stable and loving relationship with a man in order to be happy myself. I don't want to be single. I don't like it at all and the idea of dating makes me nervous. Are there still good men out there who don't play around and who are worthy of my respect and love? Where are they? It sounds desperate I know, but I just want to know what I'm facing.
2007-02-13 06:23:37 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The way you describe yourself, I don't think you're going to have any trouble at all.
Your challenge will be to find a good man who deserves you!
2007-02-13 06:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes Dovie,......[it does] you do sound desperate.
First, you should get over your loss in Divorce. Remember, you have been someone's wife for "x" amount of years, and many of your character traits will be that of Mrs. "X". Find out whom you are and put some time and space between the married you and the single you. It's unfair to any man (or woman) for someone fresh on the "rebound". Also; a man whom will go after a woman (or visa versa) whom is fresh out of a marriage obviously isn't very bright and sounds too needy as well. Yes, there are men out there that will take a woman under any condition, and this 99% is a mistake for the man and the woman.
If you need to be in a stable and loving relationship to be happy with yourself, then maybe you need to admit you are otherwise unhappy. Remember; all you have is "you" to count on in courting and cultivating a relationship with a man, and it's important to feel good about yourself BEFORE entering into another relationship.
Being 43 with a Teen is not too old to be wanted. People find love at all ages. However; if the Teen runs the home and runs you, ....you will have a hard time landing and/or keeping a good man. If you are not the adult, the Teen sure isn't capable of such.
Last but not least,......SLOW DOWN! Don't let your soon to be "Ex" dictate whom will or won't want you. You have your own brain and abilities,.....use them! You need to take the time to go through a post-marriage to Single transition.
It's important for you to bring stability for yourself and your child/teen before you step out into the dating scene. You have to find out if you and your "Ex" are going to get along for the sake of your child, and this can have a huge influence on another relationship should you get into one as to if it will have a chance.
Take your time and experience being alone and single for awhile! There is no hurry and no rules when you should have someone in your life. Regardless if your Divorce is welcome or not, you will go through a period and sense of loss and things will be new and different. If you don't find another man until you are 44 or 45 is okay. I'm sure you will look just as good a year or two from now, and you will be all the wiser for being patient.
Good luck,.....and take time to find out whom you are and enjoy it and embrace yourself.
2007-02-13 06:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you expect your "ex" to be honest with you? I'm 40, with 2 teens. I've had no problem dating. Guys think it's great that I have my freedom (unlike having small children) and I'm not looking for a "father figure" like some women with younger kids may. There are still good men out there - just be picky , and you'll find one. I recommend reading "He's just not that into you" and "The Rules" They offer some great guidelines on how to weed out the losers. Keep in mind that you can have a happy existance without a man - just give yourself 100% to your child.
2007-02-13 06:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is "good comes to those who wait". If your truly ready for the dating scene then prepare yourself and guide your heart. I'm 24, educated, self - sufficient, no children, and SINGLE!!! Don't like being single but I accept it for now. From reading your post I recommend taking some time out for you and learn to LOVE YOU. How can you love someone else and not loe yourself first. Learn to be happy with who you are so you can enjoy and allow someone else to enjoy the happy person you are.
The world is a scary place but it can also be an adventure. I think once you come to the realization of being happy with yourself and enjoy LIFE you will find someone who will accept you for who you are whether you have a child or not. If my grandmother can remarry with her 5 kids I'm pretty sure you can too!
Good luck and be careful!!!!
2007-02-13 06:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by sweetladie125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i do not imagine so, i'm 21 happening 22 and my better 1/2 (we've not been at the same time lengthy) is 40 3 . we've popular one yet another about a 365 days in the previous courting. grew to develop into close acquaintances in the previous Desiding as a lot as now. Age is only an excellent determination and screw those who're attempting to deliver you down
2016-11-03 08:46:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres alot of men out there that would love to have a woman such as yourself,with or without a kid. Your teenager won't be with you much longer and then you will be extremely lonely. Find yourself a good man and enjoy life. You don't have to marry him after the first date. Good Luck!
2007-02-13 06:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by P/T Doctor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are lucky it will just happen but that you will be very lucky. First and foremost would be letting your teenager take some responcibility, yes they are going to mess up but you just need to let them find out somethings on their own. Keep tabs, not chains. That should open up some time to go out. Make friends who are female and your age first then start going out with them and meeting men. Never go out alone because you never know what will happen. Do not go to dives, hang out in higher class areas so that instead of looking for a hookup you look for love.
2007-02-13 06:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you think it would be odd or difficult to find love again and remarry? Sure it can happen. You just have to realize that as we get older (I'm 42) the dating pool tends to get smaller and that having a kid at home may be an extra challenge.
Just have patience and don't seek out love...live your life the best you can and pay attention to those who cross your path.
Good luck! ☺
2007-02-13 06:27:07 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me it is possible to start a new life. I got lucky and found a lady who not only accepted me for me but my kids also. Guess when we reach a certain age we have a right to be more picky. Give it a try but don't settle on some guy stay by your guns and find the one who really makes you happy.
2007-02-13 06:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by b44z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ex is trying to make you feel unworthy and insecure. There are tons of men out there who are in the same boat as you, you can find love at any age!! You already have a wonderful outlook on yourself, dont listen to your ex, follow your heart and trust your instincts - if you think you can do it, enjoy it! Age has nothing to do with it.
2007-02-13 06:29:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋