I have a question about BPD. I am 100% sure my ex has it. All the symptoms are there. Well things have been very rocky with us and finally it has gotten to the point she says she dislikes me and doesn't want anything to do with me. Three weeks have past since we last talked. When things were good we had a great time, yet she started acting really crazy and shady. My question is, will she eventually get back in contact with me? Can things smooth out between us? Will she be back on talking terms with me? In our last conversation, I left the door open and said I'm here if she needs me.
2007-02-13 06:20:59 · 7 answers · asked by warharan 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Her mom died a few years ago and her dad left long ago. One day she tells me she loves me, and the week after she says she doesn't. She told me a while back she was on meds for something but doesn't take them anymore. I honestly think she thinks she is fine and there is nothing wrong. Yet she makes up stories, drinks way too much, does some shady and messed up things. She also hides her behavior from most of her friends, but since we were close I saw it. She won't even talk to me now. So I'm wondering if I just leave her alone will she contact me?
2007-02-13 06:40:53 · update #1
In addition, I care for her and love, but how am I suppose to try and help her when she has cut me off? As I said, it's only been 3 weeks. Do I just give her more time? Will she eventually re-establish contact with me?
2007-02-13 06:53:28 · update #2
I appreciate all the answers. However, does anyone know if someone who has this disorder usually cuts people close to them off indefinitely or is it just temporary? Will she get back in contact with me (3 weeks have passed so far)???
2007-02-13 09:10:12 · update #3
as id imagine BPD is a horrible mental illness to deal with.. my father has BPD, and he is part schitzo and bipolar... i feel sympathy for him that he has to deal with these mental illnesses on a day to day basis, yet i realize it is only a matter of time until he pushes people away from him to the point that they want nothing to do with him... my parents have been divorced for almost seven years, b/c his personality disorders and illnesses have gotten to the point where it is mentally and physically dangerous for my mother to deal with...often times people with mental illnesses are convinced that they dont have them, therefore the people closest to them (like you to you're ex) begin to believe that when things go wrong...it is their fault..trust me..this is not you're fault..i have been blessed enough to not have any of these disorders that my father has, which enables me to lead a very normal life..however out of his three children, i have always been the one that STILL wants in every way possible to help him and make him better...partially because i feel sorry for him..however, this changed a few weeks ago, when i got out of a serious 2 year relationship...my ex boyfriend has ADHD, OCD, and is classified as a chronic liar..he was in deep depression for over a year of our relationship in which i stood by him..even when his friends and family stopped supporting him and wanted nothing to do with him... i however stood by his side..he cheated on me and continued to lie about it for almost a year...it wasnt until a week ago (once we were broken up) that i found out he was sleeping with his ex girlfriend while we were together...meanwhile..he told me that he was a virgin..he always respected the fact that i want to wait for marriage, and i thought he was sincere and then i was also told that he slept around with previous girlfriends before me.. i was completely naive to this during our relationship..but besides the point...every time he did something shady or something to hurt me..i forgave him and was almost convinced that he did it b/c of something i did... our entire relationship he acted as if i wasn't good enough..hed flirt with other girls, and in return i would just keep feeding him more and more attention.. he hit me twice and then convinced me that he did it "because i upset him"..now that the relationship is over i feel this great weight has been lifted off my shoulders..weeks before the end of our relationship, he began taking antidepressants, which caused his personality to do a complete 180..he began making impulsive decsions and stopped caring about other peoples feelings.. it was hurtful to me b/c he stopped caring about me..meanwhile i was the only person who ALWAYS cared about him.. after talking to others about this..i now belive that he is bipolar (since often times it can be misdiagnosed as depression, and then antidepressants cause their depression to switch to their manic state)..and let me tell you, it is not fun or easy at times to deal with someone with this illness...there are many people out there with mental illnesses that can live a normal life as long as they take the necissary precautions or even medicine..however my ex is not one of them..i realize i was attracted to him b.c in some way i felt that i could connect to my father through him...if i could help my ex..i could help my father.. now i realize that it really isnt worth it...being someone that does not have a mental illness..i find it very hard to relate to the people that do... let your ex girlfriend go..you honestly seem like such a nice guy and i give you so much courage and strength for sticking by her..because i know just how difficult it can be.. however i also think that for you're own wellness, mental and physical health, you are muchh much better off without her... and if she does try to talk to her again, you may feel obligated to help her...the choice is up to you, just dont let her reel you back into her old games.. let yourself feel free, because trust me, you are not at loss... please email me if my answer has helped you in any way because i am dealing with a very similar problem with my ex and i think you have a lot of insight on the situation... bphillips852@yahoo.com
thankyou so much, stay strong, and good luck!
2007-02-13 07:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Borderline personality disorder is nearly impossible to treat, but is helped with behavioral therapy, if you can get the person to see they have the disorder. It is challenging to deal with someone with BPD because they often don't see their behavior as 'unusual'. I've had a few great friends with iBPD and a few family members & I have a social work background, but find them trying at times! Sometimes, if you really love a person, you just have to ride the wave of emotions with them, and know that there can be good times in spite of the crazy ones! Hope this helps in some way. Good luck!
2007-02-13 06:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you. BPD is a tough one to deal with. You must really love her to stick by her. I don't think things are going to change til she gets help. Has she seen a therapist/psych doc? Does she know she is BPD? Even knowing it, she will probably have difficulty accepting it. It's one of the most humiliating of all "mental" diagnoses. Perhaps you can suggest that the 2 of you research it together & talk about it? Maybe you could even go to an appt w/a professional w/her? You may have to be the one to call her 1st if you really want to try to mend things. (It's not your fault, by the way.) As you know, BPD's do lots of things to get attn. That may be what she's doing by not calling you but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love/miss you. Good luck.
2007-02-13 06:34:37 · answer #3 · answered by moonsinger333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a moment opinion. Personality problems aren't identified till after the age of 18 given that till then their persona remains to be forming and discipline to difference... a character sickness is a pervasive sample of perceiving and reacting to the sector that's enduring and longer term..... I consider it's the new seize all regardless that for a few medical professionals. Was it a psychiatrist who identified her? She would have "rising" BPD, or she would have Oppositional defiance sickness, or Bipolar... But you're proper, technically, consistent with the diagnostic standards, she cannot have Borderline. Definitely get a moment opinion.... if she is Bipolar then the therapy may be very exclusive.
2016-09-05 08:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs professional help and so do you. You sound like a nice guy, and don't deserve to be treated like that. Maybe something in your past makes you feel like you are not good enough. Please act not re-act. Talk to a professional. You can't change another person, they have to want to change. Maybe she does have a personality disorder, maybe she's on drugs, maybe she is spoiled. Offer to go to counciling together but if she refuses it's time to move on and start taking care of YOU.
2007-02-13 06:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by maggie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex has BPD, run away as fast as you can. Someone with this problem WILL abuse you, just like a sociopath will. Cut off all contact. It is unlikely that she will ever get better because it's unlikely she'll ever recognize a problem exists.
2007-02-13 07:32:06 · answer #6 · answered by MaryBridget G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont like all this negative talk from the answerers about bpd..there writing peoples lives off as a lost cause. on their day of judgement lets hope god doesnt write them off as a lost cause, heartless ba***tards. but in regaurd to you and your girlfriend it sounds as though your doing everything right. your being a compassionate understanding boyfriend with good qualities and you should be proud of yourself. no one choses to have a mental disorder, and at this time, it sounds like she needs a guy like you..congragulations and well done
2007-02-13 08:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋