is it wrong of me???

Question

I allowed my sister and her family (husband and 2 children) to live with me for a period of 6-8 months. it is now going on 3 months but she is now kinda getting on my nerves. She has a completely different way of raising her children from me, she is always in a bad mood when i come home from work, her children eat everything in the house (nothing lasts), and i feel like i have no privacy. She says she wanted to live with me to save money to buy herself a house, but i constantly see her buying stuff for her children. Is it wrong of me to want her to move out already? Or should i wait it out? Or maybe talk to her about the whole living arrangement?

Please help me.....

Answer 1

I suggest talking with her. be nice. and see how things are going with her. if she is non better off now than when she first moved in then you should bring it up.

Answer 2

Well, you kinda made a verbal contract with your sister for 6 months.
I would have a meeting with her. Put the kids in another room with some chips and video games so they do not hear your talk.
Tell your sister in order for the situation to last for the next 3 months, she and her husband need to show you proof of their saving for the house. Asking to see a ledger of finances while offereing FREE housing is justifiable and not mean. The government or any other agency providing the same service to your sisters family would require that information monthly.
The food thing is petty so I wouldn't go there to far.
The difference in child raising is not petty but is another area you should stay away from discussing, unless she or her husband are seriously harming the children.
Make the issue about her promise of looking and saving for a place to live and your lack of privacy.
Living with that many people makes finding any privacy almost obsolete. I lived with 6 girls once in a 2 bedroom apt for a year and it was insane. I have lived alone ever since lol.
You obviously have to sacrafice your life style for a while until they leave. Get an mp3 player and headphones. Use headphones on your laptop. Get some trashy romance novels to disappear into for the next 3 months.
Get a cheap mini fridge and start storing some things in your bedroom. I know I said food was petty. It is, but it's also one of those things that really pisses people off the fastests if it is missing when they go to get it. So if you drink expensive OJ like Odwalla and other nice stuff, stash it away.
You can survive this!!! And chances are in 5 years from now, your sister will bring up the time her family crashed with you and will thank you for being such a gracious hostess instead of a nagging sister.

Answer 3

I think you should talk to her about it. If you just kick her out without talking about it she may stay mad at you for a long time. And it's yor house you have to tell her the rules about your house. If you don't want her kids eating all your food then tell her they are gunna have to stop eating all day long. Tell her that just because she has a bad day doesn't mean she has to act rude towards you when you haven't been there all day. She shouldn't take anything out on you because your doing nothing but helping her. And as far as raising the kids differently there isn't a whole lot you can do about that. My sister raised her daughter a little different then I think I would and she would just get mad if anybody tried to tell her something bad. But like I said I would try talking to her and tel her like look if this doens't get any better I'm not gunna be able to let you stay here any longer.
Good Luck

Answer 4

Start asking her how the whole process of buying a house is going. Ask her if she's saved enough money for the down payment, or if she's started looking yet. Ask who her realtor is, what neighborhoods or schools she wants to be near. Also, ask her to stop on the way home and pick up something to eat for tomorrow, because there's nothing in the house to fix for supper, and you have to work late. Then go see a movie after work if you want.

And if you want more privacy, put a lock on your bedroom door.

If this doesn't work, you need to sit down and have a frank talk with her about your living arrangements.

Answer 5

Talk to her about the whole living arrangement. I mean, she is in your home. She should respect you and the way you do things in your home. As far as how she is raising her children no one knows the correct way to raise a child we just do what we believe is best and hope they turn out alright. But she does need to enforce the fact that they are in your home and they do need to respect your home. Also bring up the fact that she is suppose to be saving money to find her a place of her own, that your arrangements were only suppose to temporary. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

if you said 6-8 months you should probably try to work towards that. But you definately need to discuss the living situation with her because you need to be comfortable in your own house. If i were you, i would talk to her about the sitation and give it a month, if nothing improves i would tell her she needs to find somewhere else to go, NOW.
Good luck

Answer 7

It is still your house...and if she and her family are not living up to there part of the agreement then you should consider telling her to move out. This may cause a permanent rift in your relationship. At least sit down with her and explain your feelings.

Answer 8

It is not wrong of you to want her to move out. After all it is your house. Is she paying you rent or helping out with food and bills. If she's not helping out with that, I would tell her that she has to leave. If she is helping out with everything, sit down and talk to her. Tell her everything that you just said on here. Don't sugarcoat anything. It'll be hard for your sister to hear, but like the saying goes "Truth hurts doesn't it."

Answer 9

Maybe you talk to her about the whole living arrangement, I think is the good way.

Answer 10

Communication is the key and a time frame to get out is better
use the obvious to get a handle on the door.