I have a girlfriend getting married, she is not young or thin, she wanted me to see her wedding dress (already bought it) and she looks horrible in it, does look fat, looks like she is dressing like a twenty year old....(20 she is not)....it is low cut, short in front, long in back, he legs are horrible, fat and viened, question...when she asks me how do I look in this...what and how do I respond, I want to be honest, this is her big day...I don't want to hurt her but I think she will hate me someday when she sees the pictures if I don't speak up.....Help......what to do?????...........
2007-02-13 06:09:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
great answers...thanks...I am on my way to her house, have actually made mental note of all your good advice...wish me luck.
2007-02-17 03:46:41 · update #1
Be honest, but tactful about it.
"So does this make me look fat?"
"It;s not really flattering your shape. The cut is all wrong! Lets look from an Empire waist line! It's more classy and a classic wedding gown!"
"So you're saying this does make me look fat?"
"no, but I don't like the way this looks on you. Lets get some help from one of the sales ladies here to find a dress thats more classic!"
Just say it like that and be straight with her. Remind her that shes not dressing like a tart but as a beautiful bride. But if she insists on getting the"youngeR" dress, even after youer adivce, then there is not a d*mn thing you can but let her make a fool out of herself.
And if YEARS down the road she says "you didn't tell me i looked like cfrap!!" You can say, "Yeah I did, you jsut didn't listen.."
2007-02-13 06:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is so hard. She has already purchased it and there really arent return policies on wedding dresses, so she would loose all that money. On the other hand, she may be very self unaware and may not know whatshe really looks like in the dress. Think of it in terms of yourself, when you look down at your self the view is very different than when you see yourself in a mirror and a heck of alot different than the way other see you. I personally would want to know every detail, but I think I would only be able to "take" hearing it from one person and that is my best friend. Anyone else I would feel as if they were just pointing out my flaws, even my mother I wouldnt want to hear it from. Are you just friends with her or are you really good friends with her? If anything other than really good friends and you think she couldnt take an honest answer from you, then leave it alone. Tell her she looks great and let her move on with the dress.
Remember people look radiant on their wedding days and when she was shopping something must have come over her to look at herself and say "this is the dress". I think everything will work out for the best.
2007-02-13 14:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the trouble is, she's already bought the dress. She's probably in this too deeply now to back out, and unless her store is really unusual, they won't take it back. The time for her to ask honest opinions was when she was shopping for the dress. At this point, I wouldn't say anything to her, I would smile and tell her she looks radiant, or glowing, or very happy, or some other adjective that doesn't directly describe her looks.
If she can get her money back and get something else, that's another story, then be very tactfully honest, you don't have to be brutally honest with her, just tell her that maybe there's another dress out there that will flatter her better than this one is.
Good luck, it's a yuckky situation you're in, that's for sure.
2007-02-13 14:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a digital camera, and take pictures of her in the dress from all angles so she can see for herself. I know when I tried on dresses, the ones that I LOVED on the rack and in the mirror were NOT the ones that looked best in the photos. Depending where she bought the dress, if it still has tags and has not been altered, she may be able to exchange for store credit towards another dress. If she loves how she looks in the pictures, don't take it further than that, you will only end up hurting her feelings. If she feels beautiful in it, let her feel that way.
2007-02-13 15:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by leslie s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you can try and help and choose the dress because the dress she is wearing is really pretty but not good enough for a wedding... be a true friend and she will feel better
2007-02-13 14:15:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mercy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth....she obviously values your opinion. Or you could just tell her if that is the dress she feels most confident in, go for it since she has already bought it. That is not telling her you hate it but not saying you love it either. It's what ever makes her feel good. Good Luck!
2007-02-13 14:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by superstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest, but not point out all the ways she looks bad. Say " Maybe this dress would look better on you..."
Good luck!
2007-02-13 14:19:16 · answer #7 · answered by Eazy Duz It 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to hurt her feeling so let her go out in front of everybody looking like you described. She's asking so you NEED to be honest and tell her the truth. If you don't not only will she be hurt by your dishonesty she'll be humiliated beyond repair. She obviously trusts you to tell the truth so do it!
2007-02-13 14:15:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suggest that maybe it isnt the best style on her but you saw a dress (gather some examples from the web) that you think would make her beugtiful and suggest you go whopping together. She will appreciate your honesty if you put it nicely.
2007-02-13 14:17:32 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not like you're standing in a dress shop & she's asking you your opinion. She's already bought the dress! She thinks she looks stunning or she wouldn't have purchased it.
Tell you think all brides are beatuiful & let it go.
2007-02-13 14:17:04 · answer #10 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋