Afraid to talk?

Question

I have been considering going to see a counsellor recently for an eating disorder. I have seen my GP about 6 mths ago and she told me i would grow out of it. She sent me to a physchiatric nurse for evaluation for depression(who told me after 3 weeks she cudnt help me cus of my flutating moods)...anyway...I always find that i really want to talk about how i am feeling, until i finaly have someone to listen, then i just clam up and act like i am fine...perhaps counselling isnt right for me, but theres not many options. Has anyone else found going to talk to a stranger completely daunting!?

i just want to add that one of my parents know (they dont no how to deal with it), afew friends know also and i even told a teacher in school(im now at uni)...none of which has helped!

Answer 1

I understand your feelings completely - I'm still unable to talk about the rape and sexual abuse I suffered as a child. Its hard to explain - I want to talk and open up, but I just can't seem to find the words.

You can keep going, the counsellor will understand if you don't manage to talk about things - sometimes it gets easier after a few sessions.

Another option you can consider is to write your feelings down, or keep an audio diary. Sometimes this feels safer than talking to a 'real' person, as there is no risk of anyone laughing at you (a totally irrational worry, but one a lot of us seem to have).

Maybe taking in a list of key points might help you talk? You can give a list with a few bullet points to your counsellor, who will then be able to ask a few questions, which might help you open up.

I think that externalising your thoughts and feelings is a vital part of the healing process, so if things don't work for you, please keep trying.

You are entitled to see another doctor if you feel that you aren't been taken seriously - just ask at reception to see a different doctor.

You can get more information on eating disorders on line at: http://www.b-eat.co.uk/HelpandSupport and if you want to talk, feel free to email me.

Best wishes xx

Answer 2

It sounds like you've been let down badly by the health-care professionals...

I have some experience of this and it is good to talk with the right people... check out some of the forums on Yahoo! ... there are good ones for depression, eating disorders and so on..

It's not as impersonal as it might sound and is regulated ... so you don't have to worry about "random nutters" .. the people in the forum will generally have direct experience of what you're going through and can give all kinds of advice and comfort.

Counselling helps ... but you have to be ready for it ... maybe a forum is the best way for you to find out if you're ready or not.

I didn't get much benefit from counselling, because I went too early .. I hadn't faced up to what I was going through and ended up putting a wall between myself and the counsellor ... it would have been better if I went 6 months later, when I'd actually confronted my problems.

It is daunting, and it's not always easy ... but just take things 1 step at a time and get all the help and advice you can.

Good luck, and be well.

x

Answer 3

Yes it can be daunting talking to a stranger but i find if you talk to people that really know you they judge you & think you are making it up.
I would have reported the psychiatric nurse how unprofessional was she!!
Believe me talking to a complete stranger does help.Ask your Dr if you can see a psychotherapist,tell him you want to get through this problem but need help.Tell the psychotherapist how you tend to clam up,they will help you get to the root of the problem.It took me a long time to talk to Drs,Psychiatrists but the psychotherapist is different,she has gone through everything with me from childhood to now & i can talk to her without feeling like a complete fool.Please try it,it will help.Good luck!! xx

Answer 4

I understand, i have trouble talking to people i know so a stranger would be almost impossible!
Problem is that you may need to talk to a professional as your family may not be able to provide you with the help you really need.
But it is possible to have counselling in groups or as a family, that could be an option for you.
Also writing a diary of your feelings can make you feel better like you have talk to someone.
Hope you find someone soon.

Answer 5

congratulations. admitting that you have a problem is a very good positive first step. talking to a councillor (or anyone) may be effective because through talking you may find your own solutions as to why you feel the way you do. a councillor has the advantage of professional knowledge and they can help you explore your feeling in the right direction and gI've you the tools to be able to heal. talking to a stranger is daunting but also its positive as you can say what you wish with out judgement or feelings of guilt that you may have hurt someones feelings. familiy and friends may be too close to the situation althought theier support is valuable.hope ive helped.

Answer 6

No one likes to tell a complete stranger there inner most thoughts but in your case if you know you have an eating disorder you really need to get some help before it is too late. Eatin disorders are serious and you need to get to the bottom of it before it is too late. Counselors have heard all before and you will not shock them by any thing you say. They are understanding and are not going to criticizes you either, so why not open up and tell them what you are thinking?

Answer 7

I can relate to how you are feeling right now, although my reasons for needing to see a councillor are different. I feel very strongly that I would like to seek help and speak to someone but I too clam up and dont end up being honest and saying how i truely feel. I have had councilling before and the person i saw was very understanding so i was able to open up after a few sessions. You need to feel totally comfortable with the councillor and be honest with yourself, they are there to help and if you tell them exactly how you are feeling they will be able to help you more effectively. Dont give up though, there are lots of people trained to listen and help. xxx

Answer 8

Well the thing with talking on the phone, when someone says something, you want to have a somewhat immediate response so there are no awkard pauses. And when you are talking to someone you like, or who u know likes you, you dont want things ot get weird, to the point neither of you know what to say and one of you find an excuse to get off the phone. And sometimes you just dont know what to talk about. But throught IMs or EMAIL or even TXT messages, you have time ot htink about what you want to say and how you want it to sound, and you can plan something out, and read over it before sending. But when on the phone you cant "edit" something after you have already said it. Thats why for some people it is easier fot them to start out talking to someone they like through, TXT, EMAIL or IMs.

Answer 9

Have you tried writing down your feelings in letter format - plan to not give it to anybody so write it to sombody make believe - then when it's finnished and all your honest inner thoughts and feelings are out on paper, fold it up and store it somewhere so you can come to terms with it all.

Once you feel comfortable with your feelings consider giving it to whoever you feel may be best placed to help - family or friend that you know will support you or just your counsellor.

Your not on your own and by thinking about getting help you are already making big steps.

Answer 10

Maybe you are fine!.I don,t know your problems, but i do know that on one side of your brain theres a part for rational thinking, logical thinking, and on the other side of your brain is the emotional side, these two sides of your brain communicate to each other eg. if you are seen things in a negative way through the emotional side of your brain it has a negative effect on your logical thinking ,you look deeper and deeper inside your head for a solution to the negative feelings, taking your mind on a runabout of self hate, most of your bad feelings are created by yourself its your mind that creates them. its up to you to change the way you are letting negative emotions into your mind, this will take time of course feed your mind with positive emotion. I'm not a doctor I've just read self help books about this stuff hope it helps a little.(excuse the cliche) happy thoughts.!