therz a girl she fell in love with me, I started caring for her whn her sister died , but it was never in my mind that she will fell in love with me, whn ever i try to tell tht i dont love her we r just freinds , she starts crying, so much, now since whn i came to know she is also suffering from brain tumer i nvr discus ths love thinge with hern whnever she says i love i reply same, coz i m afraid if i telllher the truth she gonna die , but i m ruining my life like this, its been a year i havnt had any girlfreind coz of her, but i cant take it anymore, she always weeps and cry, but she also loves me more than anything and is ready to do anything for me, but i dont love her !!! i dont have any feelings , i care coz she is just a good freind to me , she says she's gonna suicide the day whn i leave her. I m like stuck or ... i dono , plz advice me wht shld i do ,
2007-02-13 04:54:04 · 20 answers · asked by Vicky 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yeah i m only 19 , so better lemme know how shld i help my self growing up Mr Shadow!!!!
2007-02-13 04:59:33 · update #1
the girl i m talking abt is 27 and lives alone
2007-02-13 05:00:13 · update #2
she loves me , she is nt ready to leave me!!!
2007-02-13 05:01:16 · update #3
It is not fair what this woman is doing to you..its emotional blackmail..you have to get out of her life..she needs more friends not just you and you need to live your life..dont let her make you feel guilty when she talks about suicide..she need counselling.
2007-02-18 22:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this lady needs some professional help.. brain tumor geez some times people can live a very long time with them your not doing her any favors sticking around your only 19 you need to start seperating your self from her don't answer all her calls and limit the amount you call be a friend yes but she will only bring you down you know the phrase misery loves company ? encourage her to go to counseling you can't be her life line you can only be a friend.it will be hard good luck!
2007-02-21 04:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with her. It's not fair for a young man like yourself to have to babysit an older person because they are ill. That is very sad....but you need to think about "you" first. Would you like someone who doesn't love you to lie to you and say they do? I wouldn't. She will get over it. Besides, if she is a rational person she will not take her own life. You are far too young for this kind of stress. This is "your" time. This is when you date and have fun to better know exactly what "you" want in life!
2007-02-21 04:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Destiny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her the truth. You are not being fair to either of you by letting her think you love her. It is very common for people to get attached to those close to them while going through difficult times. Obviously you do have a heart so be gentle while telling her. You must encourage her. Let her know that she is strong. She probably feels like she wont be able to handle life's challenges without you but you must let her know the strengths you see in her. Good luck!
2007-02-13 05:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by ideaspclst 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're a nice guy. You deserve to be happy too. If you knew she was dying and her time was limited, I would probably consider sticking it out.
I hate to sound cold here, but If she is not dying and in the last stages, I would talk to her friends and family so she will have someone to support her, but you definitely need to break up with her. Stick to your guns. Crying and threatening to kill herself is emotional blackmail. Stand up for yourself, go on, find someone else and be happy. You deserve happiness and she does, too. You'd be doing her a favor, too, she might find someone else that really loves her back instead of a nice guy that is just afraid to upset her.... good luck, I know it is hard, but life is short. Make yourself happy!
2007-02-13 05:02:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mary K 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first learn to spell. reading that was difficult.second talk to her family and explain everything. this girl needs psychological help!!!! severly. she is playing her illness off as a crutch with you. you need to stop having contact with her,yea she is a friend but obviously she can't take a hint. stop the contact cold turkey, not even a phone call once a week. if you have to block her number.
2007-02-21 04:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by ber-ber21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has grown dependant on u cos u where there for her through her loss. help her get counselling esp as she says she will commit suicide if u leave her. that's hard on u and u shouldn't have to have that pressure on u. wish u all the best. u r a good friend.
2007-02-13 10:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by rambo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your gonna just have to put yourself first and stop allowing this woman...grown woman, not girl ! to stop using emotional blackmail and manipulating you. She may be emotionally unstable but you cant provide the professional help and support she needs...its not fair on you so you need to distance yourself and stop feeling responsible for this woman...you have done nothing but support her but enough is enough and she needs more than you can offer. hope you can move on and get on with your own life...your too young to have that kind of pressure you should be out enjoying yourself.
2007-02-13 05:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by kubla 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a painful situation for you both,very sad..You feel responsible for this lady and she depends upon you..Having said that,you must not allow emotional blackmail to run nor ruin your life..This lady,clearly,needs proffessional help and it ain't you...Encourage her to seek it and stay friends but please find your own life too otherwise you will be living off her dependancy !!
2007-02-21 04:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by trish b 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her that u dont want to ruin ur friendship and u love her only as a friend nothing more and u always be there for her if she is in trouble
2007-02-21 05:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by kezz247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋