Well here it goes . . . My girlfriend and i have been so happy the past 10 months, in the past month things have been changing little by little. It is now to the point where she is mad at me for the littlest thing. I am a musician, and so at least once a week i go and jam with my friends. On her side all of her friends have loss contact or just left. Is she getting mad because i have an escape and she doesnt? How do i help her get an escape as well? My ultimate goal is the be able to go play music and hang out with friends without her getting mad at me. How to i acomplish this?
2007-02-13 04:49:35 · 19 answers · asked by someoneelse 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
good question!!!
EVERYONE needs to spend time chilling iwth their seperate friends in a relationship, it isnt healthy to spend every minute of every day just with your partner... whatever you do DON'T stop seeing your mates, once a week is nothing to ask that you have a bit of time with your friends, infact it is very resonable.
if your girlfriend has chosen to cut herself off from all her friends and not see them then she is very foolish, why not introduce her to some of your friends girlfriends and see if they cant all arrange to have a girls night on the night you go out jamming together? or even suggest she rings her "old" mates and arranges something with them on the night you go out. she needs to have her own time too and she will one day realise this, when she gets mad just say to her it is healthy for you to have your time with friends and it IS only one evening a week, she knows where you are and she can call or text you if she wants too, and tell her it would be good for her to have time with her friends too, it gives you both something extra to talk about together, plus when you come home from your evening out make sure you talk about what you have done and give her the "gossip" (girls love this!!!) and make a bit of a fuss of her, just so she knows that it isnt because you dont love her that you choose to go out on that one evening, but it is something you enjoy and it makes you who you are at the end of the day, if you didnt have that time out with your mates you would prolly be very miserable!
good luck, hope it works out for you both x
2007-02-13 05:02:18 · answer #1 · answered by merrpet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This problem is something that has happened to me because I too am a musician. Some women are jealous and others are not able to understand the drive that a musician has within himself to play music. Some times a decision between the two has two be made because the woman will not tolerate the lifestyle of a musician. In my case I was married to my wife and played in a band for several and we ended up divorced. This ultimately will have to be your choice if an ultimatum is given by your girl. It sometimes can be a tough choice to make. Good luck in your endeavors on both sides of the fence. Hope this helps. My present wife says to invite your girl friend to your jams and make her a part of you musical life and try to become interested in her likes and desires as well.
2007-02-13 05:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a girl myself, I would try to let her come with you once. She may like it and it may allow her to pursue something like that on her own, and she may even find someone to hang out with there, like new friends. I am in that very situation, I get mad still because I have no out sometimes and no boyfriend. I am still looking for the person I could date, but I wish I had more close friends other than just adults since I am only 17. Try to be understanding, I know we're a little difficult to read. That is why guys love us so much, we're mysterious.
2007-02-13 04:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that alasting relationship require compromise from both sides. Offer to let her hang with you when you are jamming out sometimes, let her feel included and wanted and she should feel accepted and comfortable with you and your friends. Also, hang with her friends with her if/when she does.
If she doesn't have many friends it may be hard to please her without dedicating all your time to her alone, so let her know in your own ways how important it is for you to have "me time." There is no real easy way to explain to her that you need your own time to be you, but let her know that you need this time to relax and collect your thoughts. If she really likes/loves you she will understand and be willing to compromise. Again, try to make her feel more included if that is what she needs, but don't drag her there everytime especially if she doesn't have fun. You could promise her that for every time you go jam out you would do something with her of equal time (movies, dinner, etc.) Also, you could try to encourage her to make friends by letting her know that its unhealthy to not have a friend network (ppl whom she can talk about things with that she wouldnt normally talk about with you) She needs a support system outside of you and her family. If you don't resolve this soon you are going to get very tired of her and she will begin to start getting under your skin at which point you will be wishing all the time that you were somewhere else other than with her. Hope this helps!
2007-02-13 04:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by Gods1stThought 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, does your girl know your friends and has she taken part in the activities you do? If she has then she should be able to enjoy her time with you, while getting to know your mates, and they may have girlfriends or what have you then your girl could possibly get close to them and you can all hangout every once in a while. You shouldn't worry, she's just venting. I felt this way as well, but I knew better than to lash out at my boyfriend for me not having my friends anymore. But I got in contact with my old mates and I feel a lot better now. I understand that you need your time apart but when she has nothing to do, then it gets frustrating.
2007-02-13 04:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by girl_is_depeche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, one thing that might make your relationship stronger would occasionally be including her. Think about inviting her to a jam session every know and again. Maybe talk to your buddies and see if their girlfriends would be interested in including her in there extra curricular activities. Or at least recommend to her the idea of a new hobby. That's opening the door to meeting new people. Always remember telling her constantly how important to you she is is also a great way to decrease constant frustration. Make her feel extra special this valentines!!!
Good luck to you!!!
2007-02-13 05:02:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to do what you do just know that at times like this you have to be her escape. That is what makes you a good boyfriend. Make her feel comfortable and stable in the relationship and let her know you aren't going anywhere. Then suggest hobbies or introduce her to something new she can find excitement in doing. You have a life of your own she is included but you still need to find comfort in your escape.
2007-02-13 04:55:11 · answer #7 · answered by kiki_t 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not invite her along with you. Or is it just a guy thing? If so have the guys bring their girlfriends and introduce them. Never know. Make her feel thats she isnt left out. Because undoubtly her friends left because you are her main focus.
2007-02-13 04:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u guys live together that could be a major reason why u guys fight, i deffinately recommend time apart specailly if u live together, she may not see it at the moment but trust me she will later on down the road. i love having a girls night out at least once a week its the best and it gives me and my man time to miss eachother!!! as far as her not having places to go while your out, i dont think that is your problem, maybe you have guy friends with girlfriends she could hang out with while u guys have a guys night out!!! when she finds things to do on her "alone time" things will get easier til then she prolly will trip on u everytime u go out because she is at home being bored while ur having fun!!!
2007-02-13 04:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Priscilla R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
while definitely everyone seems to be under pressure, they circulate into flight or combat mode, and "pointless" actual platforms get positioned on carry. Thats why women have a harder time getting pregnant while their under pressure, omit sessions while their under pressure, or income weight while their under pressure. via fact the duplicate, an metabolism platforms are not working one hundred%. You sound incredibly under pressure, i think of that's probable the reason, your female chum and you struggling with will no longer be able to help the two, i do no longer choose to the touch my lover in any respect while i'm mad at them. i think of you adult adult males would desire to talk approximately issues, and that i think of it may be greater healthful for you if she did no longer become in contact on your occupation. Its greater efficient which you circulate at a %. it fairly is robust for you and don't turn sections of your existence into hell.
2016-11-03 08:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋