My daughter is three, and won't potty train, help!?

Question

She has a fear of the toilet, she doesn't like the hole that it flushes through, same thing with the bath tub, she has to have that plug there. So I try to sit her on the kids potty, (with the bowl) and she'll sit there, she just won't go at all. I have tried rewarding, bribing her. She just won't go. I say you can have ice cream (her favorite) if you go like a big girl, she just says "no". I've bought her big girl panties and told her she is a big girl, but she pees in them.

Help!!

Answer 1

First of all, let it go for awhile. If you insist, she will resest. Get her some children's “potty” books to read. A potty for Me by Karen Katz and Once Upon a Potty by Alona Frankel are good ones. There are also potty training books with Dora and Elmo if she likes them. Make sure she is in clothing that she can get on and off without any help. Take her shopping and let her pick out some "Big Girl" underwear. If she has been using the same toilet, change it up on her and have her use another toilet in your home (if you have one). Get her (if she can’t get up without help) a step stool for the adult toilet. Count out the remainder of her diapers with her and say "After 9 more diapers you get to use the bathroom." When you think it is about time she should go or when you see her doing the "potty dance," say to her "It seems like you need to use the bathroom” or get real animated and and do a little dance and say “Guess what time it is? It’s potty time!” (a little weird but has worked for me). If she is successful, do not bribe her with stickers or treats or she will only use the bathroom for the reward and her interest in these rewards will only last a short time. Some children will become intrested if there is one big reward (a doll, a trip to the zoo). You can get her a big reward, put it high where she can see but not reach it and say "When you can use the bathroom without help then you can (Have the doll, go to the zoo...). Instead of using small rewards it is best to say things like “You did it! You must be so proud of yourself! You went potty without help!" When she has an accident, don't give it much attention. Say "It looks like you need to change." She can remove her wet clothing, rinse them out, put them in a bag in the laundry, clean any wet area, and put on dry clothing. I know it is hard to take a step back but if she takes care of this herself it won't take her long to learn it is much easier to use the bathroom. Be patient and good luck!